Tag funny lists

Saw this picture shared on Tumblr in the middle of the night (because what else would I be doing at 3 a.m.?) with the caption “at least we queers have some representation for Christmas, if inadvertent.” Of course I had to track this holiday item down. And buy it. And also locate all the other gay cardinal couples for sale.

I started hunting on Amazon and discovered that many (if not most) cardinal loving pairs have two boys, not a boy and a girl. Like the Cardinals and Christmas Holly Snow Water Globe

And also “Cardinals on Branch Decorative Night Light“

Also: “Red Cardinal Snow Globes with Music Lighted Water Globe Winter for Home Chapel Christmas Holiday Decorations“

Also this “Solar Powered Hand-Painted Cardinals Orb Light” which I’m kind of thinking I also need to own because I have no idea what it’s for.

Then there’s this “Christmas Snow Globes Lantern with Music” which not only lights up but probably is playing the worst Christmas music on repeat

Flameless Candles, Cardinal Theme, (Set of 3). Flameless? I don’t think so.

Old World Christmas Pair Bird Watcher Collection Glass Blown Ornaments for Christmas Tree, Northern Cardinal

Oh, look, a pair of heterosexual cardinals. You don’t see many of those around. Cardinal Pair Wireworks Garden Chime

Okay I guess there are a couple of those kind. Resin Cardinal Pair on Tree Branch Figurine

Another Christmas Snow Globes Lantern with Music. I especially love the musical notes emanating from it.

Maybe polyamorous gay cardinals are your scene. Here to help. (Popular at the Vatican?)

Swingers? (Cardinal Figurines Christmas Red Bird Decorations)

Cardinal couples with birch trees are a theme. Handmade Ornament with Cardinals

Not a couple, but a flag of Mama Kitty with a bird she would totally eat, which is hilarious. Winter Cat Garden Flag

“We are not friends.”

Gay cardinals with bells.

If you want to personalize your gay cardinals, you can. (Someone should talk to Jackson and Emily, though.)

The third cardinal in this throuple might have some complaints. (Acrylic Ornament Engaged Custom Couple’s Name Cardinal is Personalized)

Did I post this one already? I’ve lost track. (Decorative Christmas Lantern with Cardinal and Branch)

Of course you need gay cardinal greeting cards. You are getting these cards from us in the mail.

Some more ornaments for your gay cardinal tree.

Finally found the item from the original photo over on Walmart. Totally bought this.

I’ve now made certain I will never see anything but gay cardinal advertisements in my social media timeline. (and so will you, probably.)

Doing some Christmas baking? Do it with your gay cardinal friends.

Serving a meal?

When you and your gay friends go caroling

I don’t know what a ‘diamond painting kit‘ is but it’s representation, at least.

Here’s another Christmas card celebrating gay couple families.

Here’s that music snow globe lantern in red

Festive v-neck Gay Cardinals top you can wear. With Sequin accents!

Hoodie with two gay couples.

Nice romantic gift for your gay boyfriend.

I keep expecting to run out of examples, but here we are.

Cardinal Faith Love Hope Hanging Tree Ornament

At the gay bar – lots of boy cardinals, not a girl in sight.

Maybe you want to send different Christmas cards than I just bought

There’s a distinct lack of lesbian bird representation in holiday decor, though. Maybe I can fix that.

1. Your house plants are alive & you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 06:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7 . Your friends marry & divorce instead of hook up & break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds’ leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of buffalo wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit”.
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never going to drink that much again”.
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you.