Things I Won’t Do Again

AKA, my “Fuck It” list. Inspired by Unclutterer, who was in turn inspired by Amy KR.

I will never again:

  1. feel guilty for not attending every event I’m invited to.
  2. feel guilty for finding a new home for gifts I’ve been given if they don’t work well in my home.
  3. allow negative people to suck up my rare free time.
  4. be a negative person who sucks up the free time of others. < == hard! I'm trying!
  5. purchase something without asking “do I really need this?”

2012 Update: Going through my drafts folder, I found this old post from Aug 24, 2010 that I never put up, but should have.
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How to Commit to a Goal

How to Commit to a Goal

via How to Commit to a Goal — PsyBlog.

The key, according to PsyBlog, is not to simply fantasize about how much better it will be when you achieve your goal, or to wallow in how unhappy you are now, but to contrast those two with each other each time. Fantasizing tends to make you give up the goal because you hoax yourself into believing for a bit that it’s true. Wallowing in the reality tends to bring you down.

But contrasting the fantasy with the current reality motivates you to make a change.

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Uncluttering projects

I haven’t stalled out on the de-cluttering and organizing projects, I just don’t have photos to put up quite yet – I’m still working on the great furniture shuffle. I purchased a new desk and new china cabinet at Ikea last week, and have put them both together. I unloaded and removed the old shelving unit, which is residing on the porch until I can transport it to it’s final resting place. I just have to install the lights into the china cabinet and we’ll be set to load it up with china and glasses that go there, along with table cloths. And I need to clean out the pantry and find room for tools, which will unearth an avalanche of discard-able items. It’s all proceeding nicely and we’re getting to the place where I start working on smaller items again.

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365 unclutter – item 11

365 unclutter - item 11

This is a patio bar that I used as a sideboard in my old house. I should have offloaded it when we moved in, but I didn’t figure that out at the time. It currently stores the china that needs to go in the china cabinet, stuff that needs to go on eBay, and Stephanie’s computer stuff, which needs to go in this spot, but on a desk, which will go here when the bar goes away. For these "not quite useful" furniture items, there’s going to be some time and effort involved in getting stuff moved around and discarded, but these are major pieces of the puzzle keeping us from uncluttering.

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Things I’ve Learned on the Internet

The long and involved commented I posted on this Cute Overload post, just because it’s one of those things I’ve finally figured out after being on the internet for over 20 years. The Accident Network Group in Costa Mesa warned people to be cautious while riding bicycles to avoid accidents. In case of accidents you can also consult attorneys for DWI claims in Hempstead as they can help you in claiming compensation.

When I’m walking down the hall and I accidentally step on someone’s toes, I apologize for it and take a moment to make sure that I haven’t seriously hurt the person whom I stepped on.

I don’t get up in arms and protest that I didn’t intend to step on their toes and that there was nothing malicious about it — of course that’s true, but it doesn’t change the fact that I caused an injury (check out injury charges attorneys for hire from here), however slight.

I also don’t blame the person for feeling pain when I stepped on them. It’s not their fault they were there; they have just as much right to be there as I, and just because I didn’t happen to see things from their point of view when I was walking doesn’t mean that their point of view is invalid or shouldn’t be considered, just that I wasn’t aware of it until they yelped. With the availability of the DUI law firm for hire, it is nowadays becoming very easy to identify victim and accused without much effort.

And sometimes their yelps of pain, being surprised ones, take a tone of accusation at first. I don’t take offense to that; it’s easy when one is surprised and hurt to suspect that malice is intended, even when it’s not. Usually after some apologies and expression of concern, the person I stepped on understand that what happened was an accident on my part and that I am genuinely concerned about their well-being. We exchange mutual pleasantries and move on.

That’s probably what should have happened here, but it appears that it didn’t. For that reason, I probably won’t be back to visit Cute Overload — I really don’t want to interact with people who say things like “walk somewhere else, you’re not welcome here” when they’ve trod on someone accidentally. The first trodding on may have been accidentally, but this post is quite clearly stomping on someone’s toes on purpose. It seems to me to be juvenile and rude and unnecessary. Just because you aren’t face to face with the person whose toes you injured doesn’t mean you have license to go on without apologizing, or to claim that their toes weren’t actually trod upon at all, and it was all in their head.

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Homebrew Stand-Up Desk

After reading a couple articles on the health benefits of stand-up work stations, I decided to give it a shot at work. The top is a shelf from my locker/cabinet, and the books are, well, books. I originally planned to find a table of the appropriate height; the shelf/books idea is from my co-worker Rich. Turned out to be a great alternative, since I can slide a book in or out of the stack to customize the height in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to with a table, and once I got it set up, it was clear that my height estimate was wrong.
So far, I’m enjoying it. I’ll have to see how I feel at the end of the day and after a few days of trying it.

Homebrew stand-up desk.

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links for 2008-03-22

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Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended

I’m bookmarking this page entirely for my own self-awareness, but if you happen to find it helpful, that would be cool also.

Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended
When you live at or below ordinary levels of awareness, you spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended. A news report, an economic downturn, a rude stranger, a fashion miscue, someone cursing, a sneeze, a black cloud, any cloud, an absence of clouds — just about anything will do if you’re looking for an occasion to be offended. Along the extra mile, you’ll never find anyone engaging in such absurdities. Become a person who refuses to be offended by any one, any thing, or any set of circumstances. If something takes place and you disapprove, by all means state what you feel from your heart; and if possible, work to eliminate it and then let it go.
Most people operate from the ego and really need to be right. So, When you encounter someone saying things that you find inappropriate, or when you know they’re wrong, wrong, wrong, forget your need to be right and instead say, “You’re right about that!” Those swords will end potential conflict and free you from being offended. Your desire is to be peaceful — not to be right, hurt, angry, or resentful. If you have enough faith in your own beliefs, you’ll find that it’s impossible to be offended by the beliefs and conduct of others.
Not being offended is a way of saying, “I have control over how I’m going to feel, and I choose to feel peaceful regardless of what I observe going on.” When you feel offended, you’re practicing judgment. You judge someone else to be stupid, insensitive, rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, or foolish, and then you find yourself upset and offended by their conduct. What you may not realize is that when you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.

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Don’t Be That Guy

Cool Design Guy Brian Veloso has a fun forum called “Don’t Be That Guy” where you can post stories about the people who step on you in traffic, at work, as clients, etc.
It’s a funny idea, but I’m afraid I’m too often “that guy” (or girl, if you’re hung up on the gender of it) to go around pointing it out in others, except as a cautionary tale for myself. I strive not to be, and I’m a lot more conscious lately of where I’m automatically negative about something, when there’s no need to be. Being in a relationship has certainly helped me recognize where I’m inappropriately negative, and where I need to smooth out my communication skills to explain what I’m really thinking so as not to upset the charming, lovely woman who’s sweet enough to go out with me.
Another thing I’ve started doing, or rather stopped doing, is reading so much political news, which does nothing but make me angry about stuff I can’t change. And I have a whole Newsfeed category of “Positive Thinkers” — people who come at things from an optimistic, “how can I make this better” approach. I hope I can eventually put my own feed in that group.
So the “don’t hire negative people” slide at the Getting Real Workshop really struck home. Not that they’d ever hire me, but if I were rejected by them, I’d want it to be because of my work, rather than my personality. That’s a tough thought to express, I hope it came out right.

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