1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.’ 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic
Read on »One-Liners
Even More One-Liners
You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Read on »More Funny One-Liners
More funny one-liners, short jokes and sayings that that would look great on a t-shirt or bumpersticker.
Read on »Funny One-liners
Funny one-liners, short jokes and sayings that that would look great on a t-shirt or bumpersticker.
Read on »Valentines Day Quotes
I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. — Dorothy Parker
Read on »Time-Honored Truths and Universal Laws
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Read on »Points to Ponder… Why Ask Why?
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
Read on »Cynics Guide to Life
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Read on »Bad Halloween Jokes
Author Unknown Q. Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry? A. They’re afraid of flying off the handle! Q. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? A. No body Q. What do skeletons say before they begin dining? A. Bone appetit ! Q. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? A.
Read on »Computer One-Liners
Author Unknown Abandon all hope, ye who PRESS ENTER here (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore? (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend it didn’t happen? Any given program will expand to fit available memory plus 1K Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (K)ill something Calm down — it’s only ones and zeroes Computers are like the Old Testament God — lots of
Read on »The Laws of Work
When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would Wonder Woman handle this?"
Read on »Computer One-Liners
Author Unknown Home is where you hang your @ The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. Great groups from little icons grow. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. C: is the
Read on »One-Liners From Your Favorite Comics
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. ‘You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, ‘I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too. – Jake Johansen A study in the Washington Post
Read on »Harsh Things To Say To A Naked Man
How sweet, you brought incense.
Read on »Computer Geek T-Shirts
Author Unknown Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 2 + 2 = 5 for extrememly large values of 2. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. My software never
Read on »Thoughts From The Workplace…
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.
Read on »Funny Shakespeare
Hamlet is a course and barbarous play. One might think thework is a product of a drunken savage’s imagination. – Voltaire Are the commentators on Hamlet really mad or are they just pretending to be mad? Birnam Wood Reunion Staff If I were Juliet, we’d have got away If I were Romeo, we’d have got
Read on »SciFi / Fantasy / SCA / D&D Jokes
Berserkers do it without thinking
Read on »Little Known “Facts”
Many of these “facts” have been debunked at one time or another on snopes.com. So take them with a grain of salt.
Read on »One-Liners About Cats
A home without a cat–and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat–may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title? — Mark Twain
Read on »One-Liners About Books
They got the library at Alexandria — they’re not getting mine.
Read on »The Wedding
It’s not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She’s not marrying the best man.
Read on »Ode To The Malty Brew
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. –Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no
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