Lexicons

Say what now?

Alternate meanings for common words. Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s. Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall. Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage. Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with. Control \kon-trol’\: A short, ugly inmate. Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers \: Workers

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Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector

Those of us used to writing technical and business reports know how difficult it can be to use just the right phrase to convey the true depth of your topic. Now, professionals and students alike can seem like etymological geniuses, thanks to the "Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector" created by Phillip Broughton, a U.S. Public Health Service official.

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New List of Appropriate Language For Work

It has been brought to the Management’s attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the more easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated.

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New Office Lingo

Author Unknown Adminisphere: Middle Management: the rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

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Politically correct cat definitions

My cat does not barf hairballs; he is a floor/rug redecorator. My cat does not break things; she helps gravity do its job. My cat does not fear dogs; they are merely sprint practice tools. My cat does not gobble; she eats with alacrity. My cat does not scratch; he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator. My

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Jewish English or ‘Hebonics’

The Encino School Board has declared Jewish English a second language. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as the language of many of America’s Jews. Here are some descriptions of the characteristics of the language, and samples of phrases in standard English and Jewish English.

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Computer Definitions

404: Someone who’s clueless. From the WWW message "404, URL not found." Meaning that the document you’ve tried to access can’t be located. "Don’t bother asking him; he’s 404."

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College Glossary

Author Unknown ABSENT: (n) The notation generally following your name in a class record. ADMISSIONS OFFICE: (n) Where they take you to get you to admit you’ve mooned the keynote speaker during "new student weekend." ANATOMY: (n) One of those classes that sounds vaguely risque until you find out what it REALLY involves. BIOLOGY: (n)

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Cheddarhead Dictionary

If you think you can deck yourself out in green and gold and walk around occasionally bellowing "Go-Pack-Go!" and qualify as a Wisconsin native… you’re dead wrong. Youse gotta know the lingo too, ya-know, hey. For your enjoyment, here’s an updated list of Wisconsinisms. This stuff drives a spell checker crazy.

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