Posts Tagged: Christmas

We need a little christmas

Mame (1966 Original Broadway Cast) Mame: Haul out the holly; Put up the tree before my spirit falls again. Fill up the stocking, I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now. For we need a little Christmas Right this very minute, Candles in the window, Carols at the spinet. Yes, we need

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Merry Christmas 2008!

I’ll be taking a few days off from hanging out on the internet in order to spend time with family and friends. Here are several Christmas hits from years past for your holiday enjoyment: The Three Kings Of Cologne — A Legend Of The Middle Ages You Might Be A Scrooge If… Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

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Xmas Busy Busy Busy

Last night I did some major decorating of the front porch – we have garlands around all the porch posts with big red bows on them, and giant red bells hanging. Stephanie gave me candle lights for the windows for Xmas last year — they’re cool because they’re wireless and come on automagically, so you

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Christmas lawn decor

There are a couple of photos I’d like to take this year that I’ve missed in past holiday seasons. The first is of a nativity scene at a church somewhere on the north side of Indianapolis. I’ve driven past several years in a row, and noted that the way the scene is set, the three

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All Wrapped Up…

And just ready to have ribbons and bows put on before they go under the tree. But these are just the presents for Stephanie. I still have to wrap the presents for other people. But we’ll work on that together tomorrow. It’s funny, when I was writing out the tags for the presents, I had

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we’ve been going non-stop

And I haven’t had a free moment to blog. Or perhaps I have, but I spent it trying to unwind instead. We’ve been to parties galore, but I haven’t got the pictures off my camera yet. On Saturday morning we went to my company’s warehouse book sale and walked away with 91 books for about

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We Have Achieved Christmas Tree

I’m very excited – we have our tree up, and a few other decorations out. We still have to put ornaments on the tree, but that’s the really fun part. We can put Christmas music on and bebop around the house, although we’ll do that Thursday night, because Stephanie’s teaching skating tonight. I think tonight

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My 2005 Christmas Loot

Everyone’s blogging about how wonderful it was to spend time with their friends and family. I could do that, but I talk about how great they are all the time. Instead, here’s a list of the cool stuff they got me, because they are awesome. (I still have to exchange presents with my friends Dan

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A Christmas Tradition is Born

Author Unknown One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip … but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being

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ACLU Announces Lawsuit against Santa Claus

by David Bibb CHICAGO – The American CivilLiberties Union announced today that it was bringing a lawsuit against Santa Claus for violations of the civil rights of children. An ACLU spokesman, Mr. E. Scrooge stated that, "Mr. Claus has been violating children’s right to privacy and has been putting that information in a vast database.

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Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

Author Unknown You’ll need the following: 1 C water 1 C sugar 4 large eggs 2 C dried fruit 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 1 C brown sugar lemon juice nuts 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey (Sample the whiskey to check for quality). Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again

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Holiday recap

Between the weekend before Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, my girlfriend Stephanie and I: 1) decorated my house and put up my tree, then did the same at Stephanie’s house. 2) Attended Six family Christmases involving 3 road trips (my Grandma’s in Iowa, my mom, my dad, Stephanie’s mom, Stephanie’s Dad and Stephanie’s friend Michelle’s

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Christmas Sampler

Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.

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Dear Santa from Billy Gates

How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business.

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English Xmas Kitties

Stacy Mineart Today was yet another day in that inevitable annual melee we call christmas preparation. The rarity of Sunday opening hours in England necesitates that on such occasions every able-bodied individual must pile onto the high street to take advantage of the extra shopping opportunity whether they need anything or not. Thus, when I

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‘Twas the Night Before Christmas: Internet Version

Author Unknown ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout the net, not a modem was chirping; (It wasn’t mail-hour yet). The peripherals down and backed up with care, In hopes that St. Echo soon would be there. The grad students home all snug in their beds, with hi-res dreams abuzz in their heads. We Sysops

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Microsoft Acquires Christmas

MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via sattelite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh.

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The Net Before Christmas

by Jim Trudeau & Jay Trudeau (1991) ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nets Not a mousie was stirring, not even the pets. The floppies were stacked by the modem with care In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The files were nestled all snug in a folder The screen

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Things Not to Say When Hanging the Lights

Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? One Psychiatrist claims the other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. He is rarely wrong on these things. We rush to print with an emergency prompt list of Things Not To Say When Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree.

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Company Christmas Party Memo

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

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‘Twas The Night Before Techmas

‘Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.

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The Next Stop

A little boy was playing in the living room with his new Electric Train set that he’d just gotten for Christmas. His mother was in the kitchen doing dishes.

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A Martha Stewart Christmas

The following are entries submitted in the Washington Post’s "Style Invitational," a weekly humor contest. This time, folks were asked to submit entries for Martha Stewart’s December-January calendar (the winning entry, by the way, is shown for Jan. 31.)

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Dear Santa, about Martha…

If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn’t cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?

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The 10 Worst Gifts A Man Can Buy A Woman For The Holidays

Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the sexy woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your girlfriend).

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The Three Wise Firefighters

In a small southern town there was a nativity scene that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. However, one small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

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Items on Osama’s Christmas List

11. My First Chemist’s Weapon of Mass Destruction. 10. My Pretty Pony Glue Factory 9. Fisher Price Particle Accelerator 8. Mountain Mike’s Cave Digger Kit 7. sandbox 6. Ali Aibo, electronic pet camel 5. Easy Bake Falafel Oven 4. Sesame Street’s Torture Me Bert 3. Wham-o Exploding Frisbee 2. Bedazzler Beard Decorator 1. Kabul Barbie

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Merry Xmas Everyone (5 Disc Set)

My friend Doug and I put this music set together because we both wanted a compilation of Christmas standards, but we wanted the most well-known versions of most of the songs, as well as some interesting or unusal versions. We also tried to get a diverse roster of songs, so that you don’t have to

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The X (mas) Files

Author Unknown Mulder: We’re too late. It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think

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Scandal in Heaven!

Author Unknown Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had an affair with a former worshipper. The scandal began when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God’s “only son” last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem. Sources close to

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Twas the Dieter’s Christmas

author unknown T’was the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down

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RE: Organizational Changes at the North Pole

Author Unknown The recent announcementthat Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining was necessary due to the North Pole’s loss of dominance of the season’s gift distribution

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Press Release: Christmas Downsizing

Author Unknown Today’s global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas"subsidiary: The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be

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Ken’s Letter To Santa

Dear Santa, I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to

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Barbie’s Letter to Santa

Author Unknown Dear Santa, Listen you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME!

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