Been There – Shit Happened
Boldly Going Nowhere
Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
Cover me, I’m changing lanes.
Don’t laugh, your daughter may be inside – (on a custom van)
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
Hang up and drive.
He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk If You Want To See My Finger
Honk if anything falls off
Honk if you’re ontologically alienated
Horn broken watch for finger
How can I get in your way when you don’t even have one?
I brake for no apparent reason
I don’t brake.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
If you can read this, please flip me back over… (seen upside down, on a Jeep)
If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now
I’m out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
My other car has bumperstickers, too
My son isn’t an honor student. He plays hockey.
Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.
Seen on the back of a biker’s vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.
So many pedestrians so little time
Subvert the Dominant Paradigm
This bumpersticker exploits illiterates
This is it, I don’t have another car.
This is Not an Abandoned Vehicle – on an old, rusted-out car with 2 plastic bags taped over where the rear windows used to be, parked in a shopping center.
Today’s Mood: Irritable
Warning! I brake for hallucinations
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
Welcome to California. Now Go Home.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way
Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!
You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
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If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
My Karma ran over my Dogma
Drive defensively – buy a tank.