Fun Things To Do At WalMart

These are jokes, and not intended to be taken seriously. Please view the site disclaimer.

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don’t realize it.

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

Try on bras over top of your clothes.

Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible… "I smell sex and candy"

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, I think we’ve got a Code 3 in housewares,and see what happens.

Tune all the radios to a polka station – then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from the other aisles.

Put M&M’s on layaway.

Move Caution: Wet Floor signs to carpeted areas.

Set up a tent in the camping department tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

Nonchalantly test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won’t you people just leave me alone?’

Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. X-Men.

While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

Switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the restrooms.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission:Impossible.

Set up a Valet Parking sign in front of the store.

In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.

Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “pick me, pick me.”

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, No, no- It’s those voices again.

If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

Go into the dressing room and yell real loud…”Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!”

Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!".

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Walmart secret memo reveals hiring practices

According to the New York Times, a secret Walmart memo reveals the corporation had numerous plans to hold down expenses by engaging in unfair hiring practices and by trying to reduce employee benefits.
Also, two websites I’ve discovered recently focus entirely on Walmart news, and both have rss feeds. Visit Walmart Watch for reference materials and activism, or get the latest news from The Writing on the Wal blog.

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Walmart Vs. Target

Rob at does a price comparison of numerous items at Walmart and Target. His conclusion — Walmart is slightly cheaper, but not by much. For the same 20 items, he spent $115.51 at Walmart, and $120.40 at Target, with Target being cheaper on 6 items.

And he isn’t factoring in the fact that Walmart is destroying America. Aside from killing independently owned mom and pop stores, Walmart is the single largest employer of people who qualify for welfare and other goverment support, because the company doesn’t pay adequate healthcare benefits, and they keep people under a certain number of hours to keep benefits down. On top of that, they ACTIVELY encourage their employees to seek out goverment welfare benefits by employing an advisor that helps their employees apply for those benefits. So if you’re paying too much in taxes, you have Walmart to blame.

And even more than that, they consistently keep women in lower paying positions in the company.

And when it comes to real estate, Walmart has a build-and-abandon policy of opening stores, closing them down, and then opening much larger stores in the same area, while refusing to sell the dead stores real estate.

Walmart advertises that all their products are made in America, and they even use an American flag in their advertising. But if you check it out, that’s not true. In fact, they buy $15 billion dollars worth of goods from China every year.

In all, I’d rather spend an extra $5 at Target and sleep better at night.

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