Just spotted a Dan Coats for Indiana sticker on minivan on College Ave. I thought the Republicans were really ignorant, but that’s just chillingly nihilistic. He’s such a terrible candidate for the state of Indiana that there’s no way to plead ignorance on the issue – if you’ve got the brains to go get a bumper sticker for him, then you have to actually know what he’s about. And if you know what he’s about, how could you possibly advertise for him? I just assumed Republicans would be on the down low for him; voting for him in private but not admitting it in public. If they’re opening admitting they want one of the shittiest candidates in Indiana history in the U. S. Senate – dog help us all.
Been There – Shit Happened
Boldly Going Nowhere
Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
Cover me, I’m changing lanes.
Don’t laugh, your daughter may be inside – (on a custom van)
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
Hang up and drive.
He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk If You Want To See My Finger
Honk if anything falls off
Honk if you’re ontologically alienated
Horn broken watch for finger
How can I get in your way when you don’t even have one?
I brake for no apparent reason
I don’t brake.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
If you can read this, please flip me back over… (seen upside down, on a Jeep)
If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now
I’m out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
My other car has bumperstickers, too
My son isn’t an honor student. He plays hockey.
Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.
Seen on the back of a biker’s vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.
So many pedestrians so little time
Subvert the Dominant Paradigm
This bumpersticker exploits illiterates
This is it, I don’t have another car.
This is Not an Abandoned Vehicle – on an old, rusted-out car with 2 plastic bags taped over where the rear windows used to be, parked in a shopping center.
Today’s Mood: Irritable
Warning! I brake for hallucinations
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
Welcome to California. Now Go Home.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way
Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!
You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Funny one-liners, short jokes and sayings that that would look great on a t-shirt or bumpersticker.
… yes, but not the inclination.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
A cynic’s work is never done.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.
A real friend isn’t someone you use and throw away. A real friend is someone you use again and again.
A splendid combination of talent and trouble…
According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.
Actually, he’s more of a party mineral.
Adult child of alien invaders.
Adults are just kids who owe money.
Advice is worth what you paid for it.
Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain.
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
All men are animals, some just make better pets
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
Allow me to introduce myselves.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest – Mark Twain
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
Always remember you’re unique…Just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Am I getting smart with you? ….How would you know?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
And on the 8th day, God sobered up.
And which dwarf are you?
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day- to-day living that wears you out – Chekhov.
Any mental functions attempted in this area must be re-evaluated during a subsequent period. It has been discovered that standard logic works sideways in this area due to the influence of the occupant.
Any reform must be accounted a success which does not have an effect exactly the opposite of that intended.
Any twelve people who can’t get themselves out of jury duty are not my peers.
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
Anything worth not doing is worth not doing well.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
As far as I’m concerned, all phone calls are obscene.
Ask a silly person, get a silly answer.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
Axe me about Ebonics
BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
Back off! You’re standing in my aura.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime – Balzac
Being weird isn’t enough.
Better living through denial.
Blessed are the cheesemakers??
Borrow money from pessimists… they don’t expect it back.
Brain damage is what we were after– chromosome damage was just gravy.
Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2?
Careful, I may be someone important.
Caution – I was not hired for my disposition.
Caution: Contents under pressure.
Change is inevitable…. except from vending machines.
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Cynic: A person who has an accurate view of the world. Optimist: A cynic in the making. Pessimist: A cynic with a vivid memory
Cynic: n. Someone who sees things the way they really are.
Dare to think for yourself
Death or compliance – now that’s not too much to ask for, is it?
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
Deja moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
Department of Redundancy Department
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Desperately clinging to utopian illusions
Devious, cunning and inventive.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
Does the noise in my head bother you?
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Dogs think they’re human. Cats think they’re gods.
Dole for Pineapple.
Don’t be stupid. We have the Religious Right for that.
Don’t believe everything you’re told.
Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
Don’t eat vegetables because insects use them as their love pads, and who knows what kind of STDs They’re carrying.
Don’t let your mind wander. It’s too little to be let out alone.
Don’t mind me–I’ll just bleed.
Don’t panic. They’ll all be Taken Care Of.
Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today.
Don’t take life seriously — it isn’t permanent.
Don’t try to engage my enthusiasm–I haven’t got one.
Don’t try to outweird me–I get stranger things then you free with my breakfast cereal.
Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don’t worry about the world ending today… It’s already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you’re in Australia -then start worrying)
Don’t worry. I forgot your name, too!
Don’t you look at me in that tone of voice.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Dyslexics of the world – untie!
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren’t sucked into jet engines.
Earth is full. Go home.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Either I’ve been missing something, or nothing has been going on.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Ever get the impression that most netsurfers are actually monkeys searching for Shakespeare?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every morning is the dawn of a new error…
Every organization appears to be headed by the secret agents of its enemies.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
Everyone is a damn fool for at least 5 minutes a day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.
Everyone thinks I’m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.
Everytime I find the meaning of life, they change it.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Feel safe tonight … Sleep with a cop.
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, press 3.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Forms follow function. And often obliterates it.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Give him a penny for him thoughts, you’ll get change.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Go on and try it. The worst you can do it make a fool of yourself in front of all your friends.
Go, and never darken my towels again – Groucho Marx
Gone crazy, be back shortly.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil – Machiavelli
Have an adequate day.
Have whatever kind of day you want.
He has a room temperature IQ.
He has delusions of adequacy.
He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
He’s got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it together.
He’s not dead, He’s electroencephalographically challenged
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Heart attacks…god’s revenge for eating his animal friends
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
Heroes have an infinite capacity for stupidity. Thus are legends born.
Honest is the best policy, but insanity is the better defense.
How about never? Is never good for you?
How can there be incompetence in the world? They don’t teach it in schools.
How do I know you’re not one of them?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand …
Humpty Dumpty was pushed
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
I am glad the Old Masters are all dead. I only wish they had died sooner – Mark Twain
I am not a monotheist — the world looks as though it were designed by a committee.
I am the Imp of the Perverse – Knowing this won’t help you, either.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone…
I can see through your clothes
I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.
I could say something brilliant at any moment!
I do whatever my rice crispies tell me to.
I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.
I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I don’t have burnout, but I’m slightly singed.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
I don’t know, I don’t know, I just don’t know…
I don’t like where this syllogism is going.
I don’t need you, you know–I can be lonely all by myself.
I don’t need your attitude, I have my own.
I don’t see you, so don’t pretend to be there.
I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.
I don’t work here; I’m a consultant.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I have animal magnetism. When I go outside, squirrels stick to my clothes
I have no intention of telling you my real name
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
I have the body of a god …. Buddha
I haven’t lost my mind, it’s backed up on disk somewhere
I intend to live forever. So far so good.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
I know it all, I just can’t remember it simultaneously.
I like the way your mind malfunctions.
I like you, but I wouldn’t want to see you working with subatomic particles.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.
I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
I love mankind–It’s people I can’t stand.
I never believe anything until it’s been officially denied.
I never give people hell. I just tell them the truth and they think it’s hell.
I no longer fear hell — I’ve worked in Retail.
I plead contemporary insanity.
I prefer to remain anomalous.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person
I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I souport publik edekasion
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I think – therefore I don’t listen to Rush Limbaugh
I think my brain has a mind of its own.
I think, therefore I’m dangerous.
I think we met in a past life and you were a dipstick then too.
I think you left the stove on.
I thought I wanted a career, but it turns out I just wanted paychecks.
I tried being reasonable once–I didn’t like it.
I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I was born weird — this terrible compulsion to behave normally is the result of childhood trauma.
I was raised to be charming, not sincere.
I was stupid, I was expendable, and here I am.
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I’d like to speak with your inner baby-sitter.
I’d rather be dead.
I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I’m lost. I’ve gone to Look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
I’m not depressed, I’m existentially challenged.
I’m not myself today. Maybe I’m you.
I’m not obnoxious, I’m verbally challenging.
I’m not panicking. I’m watching you panic. It’s much more entertaining.
I’m not shy — I’m studying my prey.
I’m not tense — just terribly alert.
I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
I’m passing directly from barbarism to decadence…
I’m really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
I’ve enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand.
I’ve had fun before. This isn’t it.
IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
If God wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
If a man speaks in a forest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If all else fails, lower your standards.
If all else fails, read the directions.
If at first you don’t succeed, change the rules.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice week.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?
If it doesn’t feel good – don’t do it twice.
If only the innocents knew…
If only there was some indication that the universe was doing it on purpose.
If only you’d use your powers for good instead of evil…
If the music’s too loud, you’re too old
If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If we quit voting will they all go away?
If you can’t dress weird, why dress at all?
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
If you take me where I want to go, I’ll take you where you think we are.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments
If you’re going down in flames, you might as well hit something big.
If you’re going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance.
If you’re living on the edge, make sure you’re wearing a seat belt.
If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.
Illiterate? Write for help
Impotence: Nature’s way of saying "No hard feelings"
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Is it weird in here or is it me?
Is there a meaning to life? Sure, but it probably has something to do with corned beef.
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
It is only trifles that irritate my nerves–Queen Victoria
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
It’s a condescending thing, Dear. You wouldn’t understand.
It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
It’s been lovely but I have to scream now
It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
It’s hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.
It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
It’s not who wins or loses, it’s who keeps score.
It’s ok to do the right thing as long as you don’t get caught.
It’s polite to wait until you’re asked.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station…
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Note: this list is meant to be funny, and was put together from various email posts. There’s no accounting for taste. Your mileage may vary. Don’t eat yellow snow.
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?
Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they get back too?
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as "4’s"?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
How can there be self-help groups?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
How do you tell if you run out of invisible ink?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him….Is he still wrong?
If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?
If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren’t people from Holland called "Holes?"
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you’re ahead"?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide….is it considered a hostage situation?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn’t a Portuguese person be called Portugoose?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don’t they wear a pair of bras?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
Is it true that cannibals won’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
What happens when none of your bees wax?
What is a "free" gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
What is the speed of dark?
What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
What’s another word for synonym?
When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?
When dog food tastes new and improved, who tested it?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
When you’re sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Which is the other side of the street?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes don’t have a row 13, but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do psychics have to ask your name?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . become Pen Pals to these men ?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don’t they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
Why don’t tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the symbol for anarchy always written the same way?
Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?
Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road. That’s why the highway department made so many of them.
It’s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
Ahhhh, it’s cute.
Why don’t we just cuddle?
You know they have surgery to fix that.
Make it dance.
Can I paint a smiley face on it?
Wow, and your feet are so big.
It’s OK, we’ll work around it.
Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
Oh no… a flash headache.
(giggle and point)
Can I be honest with you?
How sweet, you brought incense.
This explains your car.
Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
Why is God punishing me?
At least this won’t take long.
I never saw one like that before.
But it still works, right?
It looks so unused.
Maybe it looks better in natural light.
Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
Are you cold?
If you get me real drunk first.
Is that an optical illusion?
What is that?
It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
Does it come with an air pump?
So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
I guess this makes me the ‘early bird’.
Hamlet is a course and barbarous play. One might think thework is a product of a drunken savage’s imagination. – Voltaire
Are the commentators on Hamlet really mad or are they just pretending to be mad?
Birnam Wood Reunion Staff
If I were Juliet, we’d have got away
If I were Romeo, we’d have got away
A most Extravagant Vagary – The Two Nobel Kinsman
Away! I do condemn mine ears, that have so long attended thee – Cymbeline
Confimer of False Reckonings – As You Like It
Brevity is the soul of wit – Hamlet
Dangerous & Unsuspected – Richard III
Confusion now hath made his masterpiece – Macbeth
He is not his craft’s master – Henry IV, Part 2
He thinks too much, such men are dangerous – Julius Caesar
Hell is empty, and all the Devils are here – Tempest
Here is a silly-stately style indeed – Henry VI, Part I
I do desire we may be better strangers – As You Like It
I muse you make so slight a question – Henry IV, Part 2
I took thee for thy better – Hamlet
Let’s meet as little as we can – As You Like It
Men’s vows are women’s traitors! – Cymbeline
More of your conversation would infect my brain – Coriolanus
O’ there has been much throwing about of brains – Hamlet
Sell when you can, you are not for all markets – As You Like It
Such bugs and goblins in my life! – Hamlet
The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers – Henry VI, Part 2
There’s a stewed phrase indeed! – Troilus & Cressida
These giddy loose suggestions! – King John
They have been at a great feast of languages and stolen the scrapes – Love’s Labor Lost
This effect defective comes by cause – Hamlet
This petty brabble will undo us all – Titus Andronicus
Though this be madness, yet there is method in it – Hamlet
We allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you – Twelth Night
What impossible matter will we make easy next? – The Tempest
Wilt thou show the whole wealth of thy wit in an instant? – Merchant of Venice
You are strangely troublesome – Henry VIII
You put sharp weapons in a madman’s hands – Henry VI, Part 2