The complete list of what I read in 1998. Click on any title to purchase it from Amazon.com.
Read on »Archives: 1998
Photos from 1998
Photo Set: Photos from 1998.
Read on »To His Coy Mistress
Andrew Marvell
Read on »The Lover’s Resolution
George Withers
Read on »Lisa’s Anti-Guido Poetry
from Lisa
Read on »Interlude
Amy Lowell
Read on »Decade
Amy Lowell
Read on »Random House Modern Library Readers’ 100 Best Novels
In response to their list of 100 best novels, the Modern library let the readers respond with their favorite books. This list was derived from an online user poll conducted on the Modern Library web site from July 20 to October 20, 1998, during which 217,520 votes were cast. **Note from Steph: Consider the first
Read on »Random House Modern Library’s 100 Best Novels
In 1998 the Modern Library, a division of Random House, New York, released this list of ‘the 100 best novels written in the English language and published since 1900.’ The jurors were Daniel J. Boorstin, A.S. Byatt, Christopher Cerf, Shelby Foote, Vartan Gregorian, Edmund Morris, John Richardson, Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., William Styron, and Gore Vidal.
Read on »Top 10 Things To Say About A Holiday Gift You Don’t Like
author unknown 10. Hey! There’s a gift. 9. Well, well, well… 8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would’ve fit. 7. Perfect for wearing in the basement. 6. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire! 5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious! 4. I Love it, but I
Read on »And She Was
Talking Heads
Read on »The Good Me
01 – Thank U – Alanis Morrisette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie 02 – Ray of Light – Madonna – Ray of Light 03 – Luminous Times – U2 – Best of 1980-1990 04 – Happy Heart – Petula Clark – The Greatest Hits of Petula Clark 05 – Does She Walk on Water –
Read on »The Bad Me
01 Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash – The Man In Black: His Greatest Hits 02 Like a Friend – Pulp – This is Hardcore 03 Let’s Kill Saturday Night – Robbie Fulks – Let’s Kill Saturday Night 04 La Di Da – The Murmurs – Blender 05 Amnesia – Chumbawamba – Tubthumper 06 Inside
Read on »Inspirational Quotes
g’nothi s’auton – Know thy self — inscription on the wall of the temple at Delphi You don’t drown by falling in water. You drown by staying there. — Robert Allen If at first you don’t succeed, you are running about average. — M. H. Anderson Live, live, live! Life is a banquet, and most
Read on »The Snake Dream
My brother Todd handed me a pure white snake, assuring me it wasn’t poisonous. I held onto it for quite some time, and it bit me several times. When I gave it back to him, I asked him whether I was okay, and he wouldn’t answer, So I called poison control, who told me to
Read on »Untitled
A short piece of prose I wrote, that I will freely admit is somewhat melodramatic, but I like it anyway.
Read on »What is Wrong with Being Single?
I’m twenty-nine years old, and I’ve been single for three years. And the truth is that I’m happy about that. I just came to that epiphany today while I was doing my dishes, alone in my apartment with the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack playing on my stereo in the background. I don’t want to be
Read on »Set the Prairie On Fire
Shawn Colvin, from the album Fat City
Read on »The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Gil Scott-Heron
Read on »The Gambling Dream
They were opening a brand new gambling hall in our neighborhood. Actually, the hall wasn’t new, it was old, like a converted community center or something. For the grand opening, the band was playing, and I was in the band – I played a trombone. We sat along the sides of the entrance hall. I
Read on »Civil War Dream
I was dressed in a civil war costume. It was blue, so I must have been in the Union Army. I had a mustache. (Don’t even laugh.) I and another dude in uniform were strolling through a market place. We strolled past a very beautiful women at a booth who was selling wool. I stopped
Read on »Hurdling Cube Walls – A real memo from my work
Yep – it’s a real memo from my workplace about not jumping over the cubicle walls.
Read on »On the Subject of “Outing”
The phrases “in the closet,” “coming out” and “outing” are euphemisms for lying about your sexual orientation, or telling the truth about it. They’re phrases I dislike, because they allow people to rationalize away the fact that “staying in the closet” is a fundamental dishonesty. It’s much easier to say, “I’m not out yet at
Read on »On the Subject of Love
There is a Law that man should love his neighbor as himself. In a few years it should be as natural to mankind as breathing or the upright gait; but if he does not learn it he must perish.
— Alfred Adler
The Circus Dream
I was traveling with a circus, down a winding dirt road. It was a bright sunny day, and the grass was green. I was traveling in the cart with the puzzle girl, who twisted herself into a pretzel and got inside an ornate wooden puzzle box, which was carved on the sides and top in
Read on »Presidential Comparisons
Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Waterbed The President’s biggest fear… Nixon: The Cold War Clinton: The Cold Sore Complaints toward the President… Nixon: Carpet-Bombing Clinton: Carpet-Burns Their Vice-Presidents… Nixon: His was Greek Clinton: His is a Geek Presidential qualities… Nixon: Couldn’t stop Kissinger Clinton: Couldn’t stop kissing her Things the President couldn’t explain… Nixon: The missing 18-minutes
Read on »Seuss on Clinton – extended remix
If Dr. Seuss were President Clinton’s lawyer, his deposition might have read something like this. I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date
Read on »Clinton Family Tree
Author Unknown One Sunday morning Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington. He lives in Georgetown and his name is Matt." After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. "Honey, I have
Read on »Scandal in Heaven!
Author Unknown Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had an affair with a former worshipper. The scandal began when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God’s “only son” last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem. Sources close to
Read on »The Famous "Wear Sunscreen" Commencement Address
by Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich (incorrectly attributed to Kurt Vonnegut)
Read on »It’s a Small World
Author Unknown
Read on »The Tree
Author Unknown
Read on »The Wise Woman’s Stone
Author Unknown
Read on »Phenomenal Woman
Maya Angelou
Read on »Humorous American Signs
On an Electrician’s truck – Let us remove your shorts
Read on »Humorous English Signs From Around The World
Sometimes things just get lost in translation…
Read on »Darwin Awards 1998
The Darwin Awards, for those not familiar, are for those individuals who contribute to the survival of the fittest by eliminating themselves from the gene pool before they have a chance to breed.
Read on »Obituary: The Energizer Bunny
Today, the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred approximately 8:42 last evening.
Read on »The Buffalo Theory of Drinking
In one episode of “Cheers”, Cliff is seated at the bar describing the “Buffalo Theory” to his buddy Norm: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection
Read on »So Why Aren’t You Married Yet?
Quick Comebacks to that ever annoying Question… I already have enough LAUNDRY to do, thank you. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating. It gives my mother something to live for. It didn’t seem worth a blood test. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. What? And
Read on »You Pay For Quality
George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.
Read on »Down South Valentine
author unknown Kudzu is green, my dog’s name is Blue And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk A-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue’s And without all them fleas. You move like the bass, Which excite me in May. You ain’t got no scales But I
Read on »Clone of My Own (Song Parody)
The first verse and chorus are by science fiction writer Randall Garrett. The other verses are by Isaac Asimov. This parody is to be sung to the tune of Home on the Range. Oh, give me a clone Of my own flesh and bone With its Y-chromosome changed to X And when it is grown
Read on »How Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Headquarters Was In Alabama
Author Unknown Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders" Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty beer bottle. Occasionally you’d bring up a winder that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git"instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel". Instead
Read on »Top Fifteen Signs Your Webmaster is in a Cult
e brings twenty-three wives to the office Holiday Party.
Read on »Three Engineers In A Car
Author Unknown There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and
Read on »Total Eclipse of Communication
Tomorrow morning at nine o’ clock, the Managing Director will disappear. It’s a pity that we can’t see this happen everyday.
Read on »Great Business Mergers
If only these companies would merge…
Read on »12 Signs You’re Suffering From Work Burnout
You don’t set your alarm anymore because you know your cellphone will go off before your alarm does.
Read on »Can’t Fly if You’re Gay
Author Unknown An employee of USAir with the last name of Gay boarded a USAir flight with a free travel voucher. Soon after he sat down, someone else came and claimed he had the same seat assignment, so Mr. Gay moved down do an empty seat. Soon after that the airplane began to fill up.
Read on »Schoolboys on the Bus
In this dream, I was traveling on a Greyhound-like passenger bus, and I was sitting in the very back. In the front of the bus there was a whole group of private school boys with scrubbed, cherubic faces and neat short haircuts. They were dressed in identical uniforms; black pants and pure white shirts and
Read on »Adventures in a Chevy Chevette 2
I picked up my car this afternoon. It’s a 1987 Chevy Chevette, dark blue, and it’s falling apart. I had to have the alternator replaced, $141.69. This is the second time it’s been in the shop recently; two weeks ago, I just got it back after having the starter and flywheel (what the hell’s that?)
Read on »Adventures in a Chevy Chevette
I got stuck in my car. It’s a 1987 Chevy Chevette, dark blue, and it’s falling apart. It was freezing cold this Indiana morning, and there was a thick layer of ice over everything. I made the mistake of not looking outside at this inclement weather before I got dressed for work, so I was
Read on »Some Important Lessons Life Teaches You
Author Unknown
Read on »The Angel of Death Dream
A dream I had where I was so scared that I was afraid to get out of bed to go to go to the bathroom, at 29 years old. It started at an archeological dig, where we uncovered a huge skeleton of bird/reptile-like creature, about twice as large as a human. It looked like a
Read on »