And She Was

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Talking Heads

Talking Heads, Sand in the Vaseline
Talking Heads, Sand in the Vaseline

And she was lying in the grass
And she could hear the highway breathing
And she could see a nearby factory
She’s making sure she is not dreaming

See the lights of a neighbor’s house
Now she’s starting to rise
Take a minute to concentrate
And she opens up her eyes

{Refrain}
The world was moving, she was
Right there with it, and she was
The world was moving, she was
Floating above it, and she was

And she was

And she was drifting through the backyard
And she was taking off her dress
And she was moving very slowly
Rising up above the earth

Moving into the universe, and she’s
Drifting this way and that
Not touching ground at all, and she’s
Up above the yard

{Refrain}

And she was glad about it, no doubt about it
She isn’t sure about what she’s done
No time to think about what to tell them
No time to think about what she’s done
And she was, hey-hey, hey-hey-hey

And she was looking at herself
And things were looking like a movie
She had a pleasant elevation
She’s moving out in all directions, oh oh oh

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

{Refrain}

Joining the world of
Missing persons, and she was
Missing enough to
Feel alright, and she was
And she was (8X)

Continue ReadingAnd She Was

The Good Me

01 – Thank U – Alanis Morrisette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
02 – Ray of Light – Madonna – Ray of Light
03 – Luminous Times – U2 – Best of 1980-1990
04 – Happy Heart – Petula Clark – The Greatest Hits of Petula Clark
05 – Does She Walk on Water – Jennie Devoe – Does She Walk On Water
06 – Crown – Connells – Still Life
07 – I Walk The Line – Johnny Cash – The Man In Black: His Greatest Hits
08 – This Kiss – Faith Hill – Faith
09 – Everything – Jennie Devoe – Does She Walk On Water
10 – One – Alanis Morisette – Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
11 – My Love – Petula Clark – The Greatest Hits of Petula Clark
12 – Say My Name – Wes Cunningham – 12 Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
13 – Water is Wide – Indigo Girls, Jewel, Sarah McLachlan – Lilith Fair: A Celebration of Women in Music
14 – This Old House – Brian Setzer Orchestra – The Dirty Boogie
15 – Dear Mr. Salesman – Fantastic Plastic Machine – Fantastic Plastic Machine
16 – Salva Nos – Mediaeval Babes – Salva Nos (Save Us)
17 – Little Shoemaker – Petula Clark – The Greatest Hits of Petula Clark
18 – Once in Love With Amy – Ray Bolger, from "Where’s Charley?" – Ultimate Broadway

Continue ReadingThe Good Me

The Bad Me

01 Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash – The Man In Black: His Greatest Hits
02 Like a Friend – Pulp – This is Hardcore
03 Let’s Kill Saturday Night – Robbie Fulks – Let’s Kill Saturday Night
04 La Di Da – The Murmurs – Blender
05 Amnesia – Chumbawamba – Tubthumper
06 Inside Out – Eve 6 – Eve 6
07 Success – Iggy Pop – Great Expectations Soundtrack
08 Dr. Bones – Cherry Poppin’ Daddies – Zoot Suit Riot
09 Freak Magnet – Violent Femmes – Freak Magnet
10 Closet Case – Skanic – Last Call
11 Failure – Skinny – The Weekend
12 Road Rage – Catatonia – International Velvet
13 Mr. Zebra – Tori Amos – Boys for Pele
14 Shed Your Skin – Indigo Girls – Shaming of the Sun
15 Space Lord – Monster Magnet – Powertrip
16 Dragula – Rob Zombie – Hellbilly Deluxe
17 The Bottle – Gil Scott Heron – Winter in America
18 What It’s Like – Everlast – Whitey Ford Sings the Blues
19 The Day Before Yesterday’s Man – The Supernaturals – Shooting Fish Soundtrack

Continue ReadingThe Bad Me

Inspirational Quotes

g’nothi s’auton – Know thy self
— inscription on the wall of the temple at Delphi

You don’t drown by falling in water. You drown by staying there.
— Robert Allen

If at first you don’t succeed, you are running about average.
— M. H. Anderson

Live, live, live! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.
— Auntie Mame

Fabrum esse suae quemque fortunae. – Each man the architect of his own fate.
— Appius Caecus, Quoted by Sallust, De Civitate, I. 2

Honey, I can upstage you with out even being on the stage.
— Tallulah Bankhead

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.
— Mildred Berthel

No man is a failure until he gives up.
— Bishop of London

Corky (Gina Gershon) to Violet (Jennifer Tilly):

Don’t apologize. I can’t stand it when women apologize for wanting sex.
— from the movie Bound

Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.
— James Dean

When nothing is sure, everything is possible.
— Margret Drabble

We are not Human Beings having a spiritual experience. We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience.
— Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.
— Thomas Edison

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
— Thomas Edison

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you’re saying.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do the thing you’re afraid to do and the death of fear is certain.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

First say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do.
— Epictetus

If you build it, they will come.
— From the movie, Field of Dreams

The things you own, end up owning you. It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything. Self-improvement is masturbation. Self-destruction might be the answer. You are not your Khakis.
— Fight Club

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.
— Galileo

If you think the world is all wrong, remember that it contains people like you.
— Gandhi

They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.
— Gandhi

To act is easy; to think is hard.
— Goethe

What does not kill me makes me stronger.
— Goethe

Talent develops in tranquility, character in the full current of human life.
— Goethe

There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.
— Goethe

I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that men do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut.
— Goethe

Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow.
— Goethe

Only learn to seize good fortune, for good fortune is always here.
— Goethe

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
— Goethe

When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
— Goethe

Hey, world, I’m alive — and these pants are washable!
— Harry, 3rd Rock from the Sun

If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game show host.
— from the movie “Heathers”

Always listen to the experts. They’ll tell you what can’t be done and why. Then do it.
— Robert Heinlein

Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
— Henrichs

He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself.
— George Herbert

Fall seven times, stand up eight .
— Japanese proverb

The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the unlived life is not worth examining.
— Guy Kawasaki

If you are not a part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
— John F. Kennedy

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
— John F. Kennedy

Perhaps the worst sin in life is knowing right and not doing it.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.

I always prefer to believe the best of everybody . . . it saves so much trouble.
— Rudyard Kipling

I can imagine that an ugly woman who looks in the mirror is convinced that it is her mirror image and not she that is ugly.Thus society sees the mirror image of it’s meanness, and is stupid enough to believe that I am the mean fellow.
— Karl Kraus

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage
— Lao Tzu

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
— Stephen Leacock

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
— Abraham Lincoln

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
— Vince Lombardi (not that I’m fond of the guy, but this is good.)

There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity.
— Gen. Douglas MacArthur

Freefall with the truth; hope we both survive. Deal?
— Ally McBeal

Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.
— Henry Miller

Democracy is not a spectator sport.
— Michael Moore

To my little sister on Mother’s Day, in reference to my sexual orientation:

You’re not going to turn out like Steph are you?

[It’s always a delight to hear what people really think of you.]
— My Mother

Whosoever would fight monsters must take care that in the process he does not become one. For when you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks also into you.
— Neitzche

Passion is not Arrogance. You ever hear that story about Babe Ruth pointing towards the fence before he belted a home run exactly where he said it would? No one knows if it’s true or not; it’s like a myth. But man, you sure want to believe it happened. You want to believe that someone could have that much faith in themselves, in what they do, in what they’re capable of, that they’d guarantee they’re going to do something and then go ahead and do it.
— A Nike Ad

I will choose what enters me, what becomes flesh of my flesh. Without choice, no politics, no ethics lives. I am not your cornfield, not your uranium mine, not your calf for fattening, not your cow for milking. You may not use me as your factory. Priests and legislators do not hold shares in my womb or my mind. This is my body. If I give it to you I want it back. My life is a non-negotiable demand.
— Marge Piercy

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
— Plutarch

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
— Alexander Pope

America’s abundance was not created by public sacrifices to ‘the common good,’ but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes.
— Ayn Rand

Late to Bed, Early to Rise; Work like Hell, and You’ll be Wise.
— Hyman G. Rickover, Father of the U.S. Nuclear Navy

If a man does only what is required of him, he is a slave. The moment he does more than is required, he becomes a free man.
— A.W. Robertson

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you cannot do.
— Eleanor Roosevelt

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
— Eleanor Roosevelt

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
— Theodore Roosevelt

The thing that women have to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.
— Roseanne

It is not the civil-social norm for which men yearn, but the outrageous, the outsized, the out-of-bounds, for that by which our wild potency may be unleashed. We crave openly to become our secret selves.
— Salman Rushdie, From The Moor’s Last Sigh

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye.
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
— Carl Sandburg

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
— Carl Sandburg

Growth does not cease being painful at any age.
— May Sarton, from Journal of Solitude

My own belief is that one regards oneself, if one is a serious writer, as an instrument for experiencing. Life–all of it–flows through this instrument and is distilled through it into works of art. How one lives as a private person is intimately bound into the work. And at some point, I believe one has to stop holding back for fear of alienating some imaginary reader or real relative or friend, and come out with personal truth. If we are to understand the human condition, and if we are to accept ourselves in all the complexity, self-doubt, extravagance of feeling, guilt, joy, the slow freeing of the self to its full capacity for action and creation, both as human being and artist, we have to know all we can about one another, and we have to be willing to go naked.
— May Sarton, from Journal of Solitude

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?
— Dr. Robert Schuller

This above All,–to thine ownself be true, And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
— Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I, Scene III

This thing of darkness I Acknowledge mine.
— Shakespeare, The Tempest, Act V, Scene I

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
— Henry David Thoreau

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
— Mark Twain

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people can always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
— Mark Twain

Lightning flashes across the sky, east to west, do or die. Like a thief in the night, see the world by candlelight. from Seconds
— U2

Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except the best.
— Henry Van Dyke

Fortune favours the bold.
— Virgil, Aeneid

Progress always involves risk. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.
— Frederick B. Wilcox

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
— Oscar Wilde

Success is a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
— Earl Wilson

I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.
— Woodrow Wilson

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The Snake Dream

My brother Todd handed me a pure white snake, assuring me it wasn’t poisonous. I held onto it for quite some time, and it bit me several times. When I gave it back to him, I asked him whether I was okay, and he wouldn’t answer, So I called poison control, who told me to go to the hospital.

This was such a weird dream because I hadn’t really talked to my brother recently when I had the dream, so it was strange that he popped up like that. Plus, it’s pretty unlikely he’d hand me a poisonous snake.

Continue ReadingThe Snake Dream

Untitled

I want to sleep on the street at night, with the chill ground underneath me. I want to dance with my eyes closed in the center of the floor, feeling strangers’ bodies moving and the music pounding in my head until I’ve lost track of where I am, and who I am and the only thing left is the movement, driving fast and wild.
I want to stand in the storm, soaked by the rain and listen to the thunder rage around me. I want to scream at the moon until there’s no sound left in my throat and no energy left in my body. I want to hunt with animals, silent and fierce, tearing at raw flesh with my teeth and tasting death’s warm blood in my mouth. I want to race my car at a hundred miles an hour and crash it into a cement wall; shattering glass and twisting metal all around me, the sound screaming in my ears. I want to cut myself with a razor, watch myself bleed onto a cold stone floor until I slip away.
I need a sensation to remind me I’m alive, something extreme; something harsh, cold, searing, electric, piercing. Something wild to wake up my half-beating heart. I want to build my own house, to swing an axe, to feel sweat on my brow, to exert myself. I tell myself that I’m happy–look at all I have–but I’m deceiving myself. I want a grand passion.
You color my dreams–vivid thoughts, stories interweaving, that I can’t believe I think of myself. But I awake and they slip away, I snatch at them but the roll away from me as ink on a wax surface. It seems futile for me to write anything, because I have no new commentary on the human condition that is unique and original. But I’ve been lonely and hungry for something practically all of my life.

Continue ReadingUntitled

What is Wrong with Being Single?

I’m twenty-nine years old, and I’ve been single for three years. And the truth is that I’m happy about that. I just came to that epiphany today while I was doing my dishes, alone in my apartment with the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack playing on my stereo in the background. I don’t want to be single forever, but I am comfortable being single right now, and want to stop feeling anxious about my single status.

Sanctuary

I’m comfortably in a rut, as my friends would probably describe it, going to work during the week and spending my weekend alone writing, and reading to my heart’s content. I really like the way I live. My apartment is uniquely my own, and a sanctuary to me, filled with the things I love.

Everything is in it’s place, and I know where everything is. It’s not organized to the point of obsession, and I need to learn to put things away immediately after I used them, but I’m happy. I clean when I like, and leave things a mess when I like. If I had a girlfriend, all that would change, and I admit that bothers me.

I cook for one, which means I make a side dish rather than a meal, or get something from take out. In fact, I think I’ve lost all of my cooking skills in the past few years. I grew up as the oldest girl in a family of eight, and I used to come home from school, prepare the family meal, set the table, and clean up while everyone else trooped into the living room to watch TV. I’m sure my resentment of that responsibility has contributed to my cooking patterns now. But the fact remains that I once could cook a Thanksgiving dinner, and now when face with a simple meal, I’m at a loss. And I don’t mind that at all.

My Family Background

I think the reason I value my time alone so much, that I fiercely guard it, is because I grew up in a house where I was never alone. I shared a room with my little sister and a house with four brothers. There was noise all the time, everywhere.

I learned really bad communications skills that I still need to work to undo: the sense that no one was listening to me gave me the habit of repeating myself over and over, as well as the habit of interrupting and speaking louder when trying to make a point. I’ve lost some of those habits from living in the real world, but I still fall back on them at times.

I had no privacy growing up unless I was in the bathroom, and that only lasted until someone started pounding on the door to get in. Now, I love nothing more than lighting candles all around my apartment and sitting in relative quiet with my thoughts, especially after I’ve interacted all week with people at work.

All My Coupled Friends

Up until this point, I’ve been fearing there’s something wrong with me for not pursuing a relationship strenuously, for not making it a priority in my life. And my friends have certainly reinforced my fears.

My friend P., who has known me for about six years, I think, was grilling me on this subject in the bar a few months ago. She had just broken up with her girlfriend of many years, and confessed to me that the two of them had been analyzing me in their spare time, trying to figure out why I was single. "You’re attractive, humorous and you have a decent personality…"

Of course, this analysis immediately made me self-conscious, and rather than defending my comfortable lifestyle, I immediately focused on the word "decent," questioning whether she was suggesting there was something wrong with my personality, and suddenly filling with a self-doubt that I never feel when I’m alone; only with my friends.

It doesn’t help that I made a ton of new friends this past summer, who at that time were single, but quickly paired up when winter came. I used to get phone calls to run around and do something every day. Now I’m lucky if I see my friends once a week. And when I do, the awkwardness of the triad is always the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.

I’ve become a single burden to my coupled friends, and as a result, they either avoid spending time with me, or try endlessly to set me up with someone else. In fact, the last relationship I was in three-years ago was with a woman my friend P. set me up with. And I’ve been tricked into every conceivable setup situation since, so that I’m suspicious whenever someone’s single friends are around.

Continue ReadingWhat is Wrong with Being Single?

Set the Prairie On Fire

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Fat City
Fat City – Shawn Colvin

Shawn Colvin
CD: Fat City
I love the lushness of the lyrics and the fact that the whole song is about sex without every explicitly stating that.

Full, full moon and that same sad nature
I wanna cover every inch of you like ink on paper
Like the blind parade of souls Consumed by religion
I can’t wait ’til I get you in that defenseless position

When we set the prairie on fire
we go down to the water, naked and slow
You and me and the heart of desire
We set the prairie on fire
How hard will the wind blow
How far will it go

When the feeling burns down to one solitary color
the velocity of longing, melting into each other
It’s a song our fingers play all at once and together
You can bet we never learned it, but we’ve know it forever
I dreamed that we were flying, carried up from the ashes
Black silhouettes of velvet against the crimson of passion
We can almost hear the echoes from the smoldering meadow
It’s the rapture of the angels and the rage of devil
In the cool dusk of horses through the rusted wires of sleep
With our arms around midnight, we’re headed for release
we go riding in the wind, we go riding in the dark
go riding, riding

When we set the prairie on fire
we go down to the water, naked and slow
You and me and the heart of desire
We set the prairie on fire
How hard will the wind blow
How far will it go.

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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
The Revolution Will Not Be Televised-Gil Scott-Heron

You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,
Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox
In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.
The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon
blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John
Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat
hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by the
Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie
Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.
The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal.
The revolution will not get rid of the nubs.
The revolution will not make you look five pounds thinner,
because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.

There will be no pictures of you and Willie May
pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,
or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
or report from 29 districts.

The revolution will not be televised.
There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being
run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process.
There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy
Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving
For just the proper occasion.

Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville
Junction will no longer be so damned relevant, and
women will not care if Dick finally gets down with
Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Black people
will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
The revolution will not be televised.

There will be no highlights on the eleven o’clock
news and no pictures of hairy armed women
liberationists and Jackie Onassis blowing her nose.
The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb,
Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom Jones,
Johnny Cash, Englebert Humperdink, or the Rare Earth.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be right back after a message
about a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
You will not have to worry about a dove in your bedroom,
a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.

The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The revolution will put you in the driver’s seat.
The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.

Continue ReadingThe Revolution Will Not Be Televised

The Gambling Dream

They were opening a brand new gambling hall in our neighborhood. Actually, the hall wasn’t new, it was old, like a converted community center or something. For the grand opening, the band was playing, and I was in the band – I played a trombone. We sat along the sides of the entrance hall. I remember looking at the floor; it was cracked and part of it was old tile, part of it painted cement.

After the band finished playing, I wandered in to one of the rooms and watched people gamble for a while. I tried to find the slot machines for hours, but I just ended up wandering around talking to people, lecturing on the evils of gambling and how the house is always rigged to win. (But strangely, I don’t actually believe that, but I did in the dream.)

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