links for 2010-02-05

Continue Readinglinks for 2010-02-05

Words that end in “-ist” for a thousand, Alex

In creating my current “recently read” list today, I noticed an oddity in my reading choices…

Previously, my reading list included The Sonambulist, and a few years back, one of my very favorite books was The Intuitionist. I also recently enjoyed The Illusionist on DVD.

I know there’s at least one other “-ist” title in my “recently read” list, but when I started to go back and look for it, I realized I have 11 years worth of book lists to look through, and I decided I was too lazy for that. You’d think I’d keep a running list after all these years, but, well, refer to previous sentence re: lazy.

“The suffix -ist is used to denote a person who either practices something or a person who is concerned with something or a person who holds certain principles, doctrines, etc.”

Yes, well people seem to like to write lots of books about such people, don’t they? I have not read The Alchemist, or The Alienist, but I’m not going to be compulsive about it and put them on my “to read” list. The first doesn’t interest me, and the second I heard about from others and I’m pretty sure I might not like it.

The Impressionist is on my bookshelf now, and I’ll probably give it a read.

Given the prominence of the suffix in published works, I thought I might title my own future novel with an “-ist” ending, so I began reading through 1201 such words.

Alas, both The Balloonists, and The Little Balloonist are taken, so it seems that non-engine powered aeronautics covered.

I could go with the Anarchist – there doesn’t seem to be a novel by that name, although there is a Cookbook, and apparently, they are in the Library of late. (that last one is on my reading list, BTW. The first is probably going to get me on watchlists just for linking.

So, how about the Aviarist, or The Bronchioscopist? Well, maybe not that last one. That sounds a bit squishy. The Anecdotalist? That sounds a bit like Auntie Gert telling stories with endless tangents and no endpoint.

An “aquarellist” is a person who paints water colors.

A “cinquecentist” is a poet or artist in 16th century Italy. Both would require me to do research. See: lazy.

The Deconstructionist! Ugh. I think I’d rather shoot them that write about them.

The Fabulist — I think that’s it. Yes, the Fabulist. Damn it — that’s already written. And about that fine fellow Stephen Glass, too. That title almost makes him seem whimsical.

A Feist is a small dog – or a singer whichever you prefer.

A funambulist is a tight-rope walker.

Where the hell am I in this list? F? This could go on forever. or perhaps all the way to
Z. Best quit now.

la·zy·ish: \-zē-ish\ adjective – a: disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous. Indolent, Slothful.

2022-03-13 Update:
I have since read The Alchemist, The Alienist,and The Impressionist.

I did avoid the Anarchist Cookbook. I am still thinking about the The Anarchist in the Library.

And I’m thinking there are more books with -ist since 2008. I may do a revisit. Alas, still la·zy·ish; I may not.

Continue ReadingWords that end in “-ist” for a thousand, Alex

The Chaos

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Poems

by Gerard Nolst Trenité

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.
Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it’s written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say—said, pay—paid, laid but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak,
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;
Woven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
Missiles, similes, reviles.
Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining,
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far.
From “desire”: desirable—admirable from “admire”,
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.
Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Have you ever yet endeavoured
To pronounce revered and severed,
Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
Peter, petrol and patrol?
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which exactly rhymes with khaki.
Discount, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward,
Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation’s OK.
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Is your r correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.
Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
Buoyant, minute, but minute.
Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;
Would it tally with my rhyme
If I mentioned paradigm?
Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease and greasy?
Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
Rabies, but lullabies.
Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,
You’ll envelop lists, I hope,
In a linen envelope.
Would you like some more? You’ll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.
To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
Does not sound like Czech but ache.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice,
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,
Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with “shirk it” and “beyond it”,
But it is not hard to tell
Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor,
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the a of drachm and hammer.
Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but desert, address.
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
Cow, but Cowper, some and home.
“Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker”,
Quoth he, “than liqueur or liquor”,
Making, it is sad but true,
In bravado, much ado.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.
Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.
Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
Mind! Meandering but mean,
Valentine and magazine.
And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,
Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
Tier (one who ties), but tier.
Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
Prison, bison, treasure trove,
Treason, hover, cover, cove,
Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled.
Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.
Don’t be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;
Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.
Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
Evil, devil, mezzotint,
Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)
Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don’t mention,
Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
Rhyming with the pronoun yours;
Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as you did,
Funny rhymes to unicorn,
Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.
No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley.
No. Yet Froude compared with proud
Is no better than McLeod.
But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,
Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.
Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
But you’re not supposed to say
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.
Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,
How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
When for Portsmouth I had booked!
Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
Episodes, antipodes,
Acquiesce, and obsequies.
Please don’t monkey with the geyser,
Don’t peel ‘taters with my razor,
Rather say in accents pure:
Nature, stature and mature.
Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
Wan, sedan and artisan.
The th will surely trouble you
More than r, ch or w.
Say then these phonetic gems:
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.
Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget ’em—
Wait! I’ve got it: Anthony,
Lighten your anxiety.
The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight—you see it;
With and forthwith, one has voice,
One has not, you make your choice.
Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,
Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry fury, bury,
Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.
Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners
Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
Puisne, truism, use, to use?
Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,
Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,
Put, nut, granite, and unite.
Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.
Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;
Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it
Bona fide, alibi
Gyrate, dowry and awry.
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion,
Rally with ally; yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
Never guess—it is not safe,
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.
Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,
Face, but preface, then grimace,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;
Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
Do not rhyme with here but heir.
Mind the o of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,
With the sound of saw and sauce;
Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.
Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
Respite, spite, consent, resent.
Liable, but Parliament.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.
A of valour, vapid vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),
G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
I of antichrist and grist,
Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
Polish, Polish, poll and poll.
Pronunciation—think of Psyche!—
Is a paling, stout and spiky.
Won’t it make you lose your wits
Writing groats and saying ‘grits’?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington, and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Don’t you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?
Hiccough has the sound of sup…
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!The Chaos
by Gerard Nolst Trenité
Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.
Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it’s written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say—said, pay—paid, laid but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak,
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;
Woven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
Missiles, similes, reviles.
Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining,
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far.
From “desire”: desirable—admirable from “admire”,
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.
Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Have you ever yet endeavoured
To pronounce revered and severed,
Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
Peter, petrol and patrol?
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which exactly rhymes with khaki.
Discount, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward,
Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation’s OK.
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Is your r correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.
Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
Buoyant, minute, but minute.
Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;
Would it tally with my rhyme
If I mentioned paradigm?
Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease and greasy?
Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
Rabies, but lullabies.
Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,
You’ll envelop lists, I hope,
In a linen envelope.
Would you like some more? You’ll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.
To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
Does not sound like Czech but ache.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice,
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,
Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with “shirk it” and “beyond it”,
But it is not hard to tell
Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor,
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the a of drachm and hammer.
Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but desert, address.
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
Cow, but Cowper, some and home.
“Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker”,
Quoth he, “than liqueur or liquor”,
Making, it is sad but true,
In bravado, much ado.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.
Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.
Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
Mind! Meandering but mean,
Valentine and magazine.
And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,
Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
Tier (one who ties), but tier.
Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
Prison, bison, treasure trove,
Treason, hover, cover, cove,
Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled.
Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.
Don’t be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;
Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.
Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
Evil, devil, mezzotint,
Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)
Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don’t mention,
Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
Rhyming with the pronoun yours;
Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as you did,
Funny rhymes to unicorn,
Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.
No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley.
No. Yet Froude compared with proud
Is no better than McLeod.
But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,
Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.
Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
But you’re not supposed to say
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.
Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,
How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
When for Portsmouth I had booked!
Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
Episodes, antipodes,
Acquiesce, and obsequies.
Please don’t monkey with the geyser,
Don’t peel ‘taters with my razor,
Rather say in accents pure:
Nature, stature and mature.
Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
Wan, sedan and artisan.
The th will surely trouble you
More than r, ch or w.
Say then these phonetic gems:
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.
Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget ’em—
Wait! I’ve got it: Anthony,
Lighten your anxiety.
The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight—you see it;
With and forthwith, one has voice,
One has not, you make your choice.
Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,
Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry fury, bury,
Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.
Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners
Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
Puisne, truism, use, to use?
Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,
Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,
Put, nut, granite, and unite.
Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.
Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;
Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it
Bona fide, alibi
Gyrate, dowry and awry.
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion,
Rally with ally; yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
Never guess—it is not safe,
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.
Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,
Face, but preface, then grimace,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;
Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
Do not rhyme with here but heir.
Mind the o of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,
With the sound of saw and sauce;
Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.
Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
Respite, spite, consent, resent.
Liable, but Parliament.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.
A of valour, vapid vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),
G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
I of antichrist and grist,
Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
Polish, Polish, poll and poll.
Pronunciation—think of Psyche!—
Is a paling, stout and spiky.
Won’t it make you lose your wits
Writing groats and saying ‘grits’?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,
Islington, and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Don’t you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?
Hiccough has the sound of sup…
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

Continue ReadingThe Chaos

English “Non-Errors” Examined

I blogged a link yesterday to a site of “Non-Errors” in English — discussion of some language rules that the site argues are not really valid rules of language today.
The link is making the rounds of popular blog sites, which is how I picked up on it. I sent it to Stephanie, who is my definitive source for all grammar and editing, (being a well-educated editor with a great editor salary for a publishing company and connoisseur of the English language) for her thoughts. Here’s what she had to say:

I think he’s a little hard on split infinitives; for some reason I don’t have a problem with them unless they aren’t clear. I think there’s more to the between/among distinction than he says. The IDG style guide mentions that it matters whether a one-to-one relationship is meant. Our style guides have always specified the over/more than and since/because distinctions, and although I’m certainly not as strict as some, I’m not as permissive as he is. I’m not convinced that “regime” and “regimen” are synonyms — I’ve never heard of a “dietary regime.” Titled vs. entitled — in terms of a book, entitled means “given a title,” and that, to me, happens once. I don’t have the OED, so I can’t see what sense Chaucer used it in.

Continue ReadingEnglish “Non-Errors” Examined

Neologisms and New Words Dictionary: A – L

Author Unknown

Neologisms are alternate meanings for common words – a few of those, plus some new words from old ones.

Accordionated (ah kor’ de on ay tid) adj.
Being able to drive and fold a road map at the same time.

Ala’ Python: Something outlandishly funny
example: Justin began singing the song normally but then he started making fun of it ala’ python.

Anacondom, n:
A large-sized, constrictive prophylactic.

Aquadextrous (ak wa deks’ trus) adj.
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

Aqualibrium (ak wa lib’ re um) n.
The point at which the stream of drinking water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from: (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

Arachnoleptic fit, n:
The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Barbie-Dream: To describe perfection from the perspective of a barbie doll
example: Friend: "Are you still dating Mike?" You: "Don’t ask. I really thought he was my Barbie-Dream Boyfriend. But then I found out he was married."

Batmobiling:
Putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in "she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling."

Beelzebug, n:
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Body Nazis:
Hard core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively.

Bozone, n:
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Burgacide (burg’ uh side) n.
When a hamburger can’t take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

Buzzacks (buz’ acks) n.
People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.

Carperpetuation (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n.
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it backdown to give the vacuum one more chance.

Cashtration, n:
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Caterpallor, n:
The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

Coldest: A person (or song) that is absolutely the coolest in the world
example: Dude that song was the coldest!

Coolerator: Device that uses compressed refrigerant gasses and general properties of thermodynamics to keep perishables at a lower temperature. Also known as a refrigerator.
example: Stick that chocolate cake in the coolerator.

Create A Low-Pressure Area: To be low in quality
example: "Was the concert any good?" "Nah, that band really creates a low-pressure area."

Crunchy: The feeling you get when you do or say something really stupid
example: When I tripped on my shoelace in the mall, I felt really crunchy.

Dap: white people
example: Yo dap, wassup?

D&M: A deep and meaningful conversation
example: "Go away! I’m having a D&M with Heidi."

Decaflon, n:
The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Digest: Put up with a person you don’t like
example: I’m trying very hard to digest Melanie, but she drives me up the wall.

Dimp (dimp) n.
A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"

Disconfect (dis kon fekt’) v.
To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow "remove" all the germs.

Disinvited
meaning you were invited, but now you are not. Not to be confused with uninvited (never invited at all).

Dopelar effect, n:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.

Dorito Syndrome:
Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."

Ecnalubma (ek na lub’ ma) n.
A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear-view mirror.

Eiffelites (eye’ ful eyetz) n.
Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.

Elbonics (el bon’ iks) n.
The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

Elecelleration (el a sel er ay’ shun) n.
The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

Elvis Year:
The peak year of something’s popularity. "Barney the Dinosaur’s Elvis year was 1993."

Extraterrestaurant, n:
An eating place where you feel you’ve been abducted and experimented on. Also known as ETry.

Faunacated, adj
How wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering, noun, which has made a meal of many species.

Floopy: Dizzy, funny, not quite right
example: The pain killers made me feel quite floopy.

Flump: The act of sitting down in a casual manner
example: Why don’t you guys flump down on the couch.

Foreploy, n:
Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.

Frust (frust) n.
The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until s/he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

Generica:
fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in "we were so lost in generica that I couldn’t remember what city it was"

Go Salad: To become confused
example: We were rapping about regular stuff and then the guy went all salad on me.

Going Global: To gain a lot of weight
example: After I ate 300 bean burritos in two days, my friends said I had gone global.

Going Postal:
Totally stressed out and losing it like postal employees who went on shooting rampages.

Good Day: A greeting or term of surprise
example: To a friend: "Good day!"

Good Gravy!: A simple exclamation
example: Good Gravy! What did you do that for?

Grantartica, n:
The cold, isolated place where arts companies without funding dwell.

Hhemaglobe, n:
The bloody state of the world.

How Much?:
A request for more details.
example: Person 1: "Did you see Johnny?"
Person 2: "Johnny? Johnny how much?"
Person 1: "Johnny Johnson!"

Intaxication, n:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Irritainment:
Annoying but you can’t stop watching; e.g. the O.J. trial.

Isk Isk: An expression meaning GO AWAY. A way of ignoring someone.
example: Jess: "Hey Christine…"
Christine: "Isk isk" while waving him off with her hands.

Kinstirpation, n:
A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.

Join WA (whiner’s anonymous): Go somewhere else to whine.
example: Friend: "My life is miserable." You: "Why don’t you join WA or something."

Lactomangulation (lak to man gyu lay’ shun) n.
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side.

Lie: 1. Exclamation of a positive nature. 2. Exclamation of a negative nature.
example: 1. That is lie! (positive). 2. That’s soooo lie! (negative).

Like a doctor: Pulling something off with ease or with a great deal of panache.
example: He plays guitar like a doctor.

Lullabuoy, n:
An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.

Continue ReadingNeologisms and New Words Dictionary: A – L

Neologisms and New Words Dictionary: M-Z

Author Unknown

Neologisms are alternate meanings for common words – a few of those, plus some new words from old ones.

Marinating In: a belief system that your stewing in
example: "After mom said I was too old to meet someone, I was marinating in that idea.

Minty: Used in place of "cool"
example: Friend:"Man, did you go to that party last night?" You:"Yeah, it was so minty!"

Mole: A really big number. It’s a chemistry term equal to 6.02×10 23 — in other words, a really big number.
example: Were you at last night’s concert? There were mole people there.

Monochrome: Boring
example: "That guy was totally monochrome. I couldn’t get rid of him quickly enough"

Neonphancy (ne on’ fan see) n.
A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.

Ooh, Gravity!: What you say when someone falls down
example: A friend falls down the steps at school, and you say, "Ooh, gravity!"

Ohnosecond:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize you’ve just made a big mistake.

Peel: To go beyond the first page of a web site
example: That web site looks whack at first, but you have to peel it to get to the phat parts.

Peppier (pehp ee ay’) n.
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

Petrophobic (pet ro fob’ ik) adj.
One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

Phonesia (fo nee’ zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

Pull Your Coat: To make an inquiry
example: Hey, Mr. Man, let me pull your coat about this assignment.

Pupkus (pup’ kus) n.
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

Ripe-For-The-Pickin’: A cute person who is currently single
example: Alright! Brinn dumped adorable Damion, so he’s totally ripe-for-the-pickin’!

Roach: To live off of friends resources
example: Friend: "Hey I’ve only got a dollar." You: "You gotta stop roaching off me."

SITCOMs:
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two/Three Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Softing Loose: Taking things easy and not doing anything
example: "Hey, Kate, what did you do yesterday?" "Nothing. I was just softing loose."

Speaking Of Toasters: Phrase used to amplify the randomness of a thought brought up in conversation.
example: You: "I can’t understand physics." Friend: "I can belch and make it sound like a frog."
You: "…speaking of toasters…"

Starter Marriage:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Swiped Out:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re six inches away.

Tragic: An unfortunate event occurring to somebody near you.
example: Driving past someone who got pulled over, you say "Dude! tragic on him."

Trumpet: One who has an extremely large ego. (from Marching band)
example: "He won’t listen to anything we say." "Well, what do you expect? He’s a trumpet."

Umfriend:
A sexual relationship as in "this is Dale, my…um…friend."

Upalator and Downalator
(instead of escalator)

Virus Of The Mind: a false belief system that screws you up.
example: "the number of personal bankruptcies are going up every year because people have a virus of the mind that credit is a good thing."

Yuppie Food Coupons:
Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.

Continue ReadingNeologisms and New Words Dictionary: M-Z

Dialect Survey Results

Or, how to pronounce shit. Check out the maps where the wrong answer is concentrated in the south. And my favorite sample question: “What do you call the big clumps of dust that gather under furniture and in corners?”

Also: “What do you say when you want to lay claim to the front seat of a car?”

Plus, soda, pop, coke or soft drink: where people live, what term they use.

Continue ReadingDialect Survey Results