The Naming of Cats

by T. S. Eliot

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey–
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter–
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover–
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

from Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats

Smudge Kitten

Noro, Truesdale, and Purl

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Pet Diaries

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Courtesy our friend Veronica.

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made con descending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

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Caturday

Want.
“Want!”
Lucy
“I’m the prettiest cat in the house.”
I'm so pretty.
“I’m the prettiest cat in the house.”
My blog.
“My blog.”
I see you looking at my blog.
“I see you looking at my blog.”
Huckleberry
“Paparazzi. Back off.”
Caturday? Noes!
“Caturday? Noes!”
Pile o' Monkey
“When is Monkey Day?” (Silly kids. Every day is monkey day.)

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It’s Caturday!

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Attention Plz!
Attention Plz!
Caturday
Caturday

And I R posting some of my favoritest LOLcat pictures for your entertainment, because I R not allowed to do anything and I R bored. These probably won’t stay on my site long. So enjoy them now.

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Melamine has been added to pet food for years

According to the New York Times. My first cat Idgie died of renal failure. Now I’m upset that maybe it didn’t have to happen.
UPDATE: Scientists are figuring out how the melamine contaminate reacts with other ingredients to kill pets.

Dr. Perry Martos and colleagues from the Agriculture and Food Laboratory at Guelph’s Laboratory Services announced Friday they have discovered a dangerous reaction when melamine and cyanuric acid – the two contaminants found in the imported wheat gluten used in the pet food — are combined.
The two chemicals react to form crystals that could block kidney function.
The crystal-like substances found in the urine and kidneys of affected animals matched the crystals produced when the chemicals were combined at the University’s Animal Health Laboratory.
Researchers believe this is a possible link between the compounds and the deaths of animals exposed to the contaminated pet food.

That’s exactly why Idgie died – she had crystal-like stones in her kidneys.
And, now that we’re figuring all this out – The Chicago Tribune reports:

About 45 [California] state residents ate pork from hogs that consumed animal feed laced with melamine from China.
What last month was a limited recall of canned pet food is on the verge of becoming a full-fledged public health scare.
The FDA’s real detective work may be just beginning. Having found many sources of contamination, investigators must now determine exactly how widespread the problem is and how it began.

So over the years, how many people have eaten this stuff? We should also consider the educational aspect of culinary practices, one finds that detailed knowledge of food safety plays a pivotal role. Courses that focus on training effectively for maintaining food hygiene and safety in the catering industry provide essential information that helps culinary professionals avoid common pitfalls. These courses are indispensable in cultivating an environment where food safety is second nature.

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