emotional roller coaster

This week has been a roller coaster, that’s for certain. It sucks that the week I started to looking for a house to buy (what, I didn’t mention that before?) all of this happened, so I’ve gone from feelings about the WTC (anger, grief, passion) to feelings about taking such a big personal leap (nausea, fear, elation, daydreaming).

This is the first house I looked at – on September 11th, 2001.

And this is a house I looked at on the 18th and 19th of September.

I just don’t know. It’s weird. Friends have pointed out that there are other things I haven’t mentioned in this journal that have been going on in my life lately, so here they are… I’ve been going to Weight Watchers and making some progress. Not a huge amount, but some. I’m starting to hit the plateau, though, where I need to make a committment to going to the gym and giving up the beer if I’m going to continue on the present downward path.
Also, I met a girl & we’re going out. She’s nice. Nothing more to say on that if/until we get serious.
And, returning to the topic, I’m looking at houses to buy. Scary. SCARY! I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I really want to stay in Herron Morton Place, but everything here is pretty pricey, and I feel like I might be getting in over my head. I could probably get a better deal if I go to another neighborhood, but I really don’t want to live somewhere else. And of course, the money… I’ve been out of debt and happily self-reliant for so long that the idea of a big $ hanging over my head really FREAKS ME OUT. But I also really want a house thats MINE ALL MINE. Something I can paint and decorate the way I want, that I can make myself a part of.

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