Laffy Taffy Jokes (the worst jokes in the world)

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material provided by the femmes de la grassy knoll (aka my sister & her friends) who were kind enough to eat an entire bag of Laffy Taffy candy (get a bag of your own from Amazon.com!) just to provide content for my website:

Hey, here are the worst jokes in the world for you. Heather likes them, but there’s no accounting for taste. I’m putting on the good and the bad, so don’t complain to me about it. These jokes came from the Laffy Taffy Candy; we don’t vouch for their quality because we didn’t make them up.

Laffy Taffy Jokes
Laffy Taffy Jokes
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Again with the Lateness…

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This past week’s Friday Five.
1. Are you superstitious?
No. (fingers crossed behind my back)
2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition?
Hmmm. I have friends who are obsessive-compulsive, so I really don’t know how to answer this question. I’m not sure if there’s a line between superstition and OCD, or where it is.
3. Believer or not, what’s your favorite superstition?
Oh, come on. Everyone knows that nothing beats lucky underwear.
4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual?
There’s a reason I unconsciously rub the pendant I wear. Usually it involves warding something off.
5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
Not at all. It’s completely silly. The fact that I’m a triple Gemini born in the year of the monkey has nothing whatever to do with my personality. Stuff and rubbish.

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More L-Word Recaps

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Scribe Grrrl has more recaps of the L-Word on afterellen.com, thus causing more of the embarrassing laughing out loud at work… this time, this line was the culprit:
“Usually when women have sex on film, it’s all kind of abstract and shadowy and you can’t figure out what’s going on and nobody really seems to be trying to touch anyone. If The L Word does nothing else for us, it will at least reveal to the world that sometimes, when they have sex, lesbians use their hands.”
Also:
“Alice introduces her: ‘This is Marina. She owns The Planet.’ Yes, I do believe she does!”
“How many lesbians can you fit into a Mini Cooper? Four, apparently, and they don’t look a bit rumpled.”

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Weekend Update 2004-02-17

Kathy helped me finish the baseboards on Saturday. They didn’t come out as neat as I would have liked, and I was upset about it, but she helped talk me down. Then we moved all of my living room furniture in. The bookcases are partially moved in, and the rest will be finished later this week. By next weekend, I’ll be done.

Continue ReadingWeekend Update 2004-02-17

Power Out

I was doing a weekend recap when my power went out here at home. It was only out for an hour and a half, but that was long enough for me to realize I don’t have my emergency procedures down. I have camp lanterns, but the batteries were dead, I don’t have a battery radio, and I only have one regular phone line. That will all change this afternoon.

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Barbie and Ken Breaking Up; Ken to Date Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Joe

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The Guardian reports that Barbie and Ken are breaking up after 43 years as a couple.
“The couple’s ‘business manager,’ Russell Arons, vice president of marketing at Mattel, said that Barbie and Ken ‘feel it’s time to spend some quality time – apart.’ ”
Arons hinted Wednesday that the separation may be partially because of Ken’s reluctance to get married. All those bridal Barbie dolls in toy chests around the globe are really just examples of Barbie’s wishful thinking, she explained.
In a couple weeks, they’ll run into each other in the same-sex marriage line in San Francisco’s city hall.

Continue ReadingBarbie and Ken Breaking Up; Ken to Date Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Joe