Hey, here are the worst jokes in the world for you. Heather likes them, but there’s no accounting for taste. I’m putting on the good and the bad, so don’t complain to me about it. These jokes came from the Laffy Taffy Candy; we don’t vouch for their quality because we didn’t make them up.
What happens when you cross a singer and a rocking chair? — you rock to the beat.
How do you mend a broken jack o’ lantern? — with a pumpkin patch.
what do you call a lease of false teeth? — a dental rental
Where did the kittens go on the class trip — to the meow-seum.
What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? — a watchdog
What did the art dealer say when a man asked what a picture was supposed to be? — a reflection of you.
what did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date? — shore
What falls down but never gets hurt? — snow
What kind of brush do you use to comb a bee’s hair? — a honey comb
How do you get a peanut to laugh? — you crack it up
Who greets you at a haunted house? — a host ghost
Why did the farmer bury all his money? — to make his soil rich
Where can you find an ocean without water? — on a map
What do you call a horse that likes arts & crafts? — a hobby horse
Why do shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles
What do you call an avid gardener? — herb
If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? — a poul-tree
What do you get when you cross a grape with a lion? — a grape nobody picks on
What did the tree say to the mountain? — stop peaking at me!
What are sailors’ favorite fruits? — naval oranges
Where does a penguin keep his money? — in a snow bank
What did the boy chip say to the girl chip (crisp for the Brits)? — Let’s dance and I’ll dip you.
Why do bees have sticky hair? — they use honeycombs
Why did the reporter go into the ice cream shop? — he wanted to get the scoop
Why was it hard for the geometry teacher to walk? — she broke her angle
What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips? — a chipmonk
What kind of trees sew? — pine trees, they always have needles around
What did the plate say to the other plate? — lunch is on me.
What did the man say when the picture fell on his head? — I’ve been framed!
Did you hear about the mummies who went to the theater? — They gave the actors stage fright
How do you turn soup into gold? — add 24 carrots (karats)
What do you do if a rhino charges you? — Give him your credit card.
Why did they bury the battery? — Because it was dead.
What do sneezes wear on their feet? — ahh-shoes
What do wolves say when they are introduced? — howl do you do?
What does a car run on? — wheels
What did the sink say to the water faucet? — you’re a real drip
where do pigs park their cars? — in a porking lot
Why did the banana leave the cinema? — the film didn’t appeal to him.
Why did the little cookie (biscuit) cry? — because his mother was a wafer so long.
What do you call a hot dog in a bun? — an in betweenie weenie.
Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? — He found a leek there.
How do you make a witch itch? — take away her W
What do you call two guys fighting over a prostitute? — tug of whore
*ok, so that was mine. Just threw it in to see if you were paying attention*
What do you call a crab who plays baseball? — a pinch-hitter
What is the clumsiest bee? — a bumbling bee
What kind of bean can’t grow? — a jelly bean
Whats green and fluffy and comes from mars? — a martian mellow
How does a man on the moon get his hair cut? — eclipse it
What do you do when you have no rubber bands? — find a plastic orchestra
— — — — and some old favorites — — — — — –
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? — time to get a new fence.
What is green, red, and runs 100 mph? — a frog in a blender
What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? — a dead school bus
Why did the man throw his margarine? — he wanted to see the butter fly
What did the finger say to the thumb? — I’m in glove with you (heather’s favorite)
What’s brown and sticky? — a stick!
What’s red and not there? — no tomatoes
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin? — a very cross penguin
How do billboards talk? — Sign language!
What kind of chain is edible? — A food chain!
What did the grass see say to the ball field? — I want to root for you.
How do you shoot a killer bee? — With a bee-bee gun.
Why did the bowling pins stop working? — Because they went on Strike.
Why do fish swim in schools? — Because they can’t walk in schools.
What is a buckaneer? — Expensive corn!
How do you get an alien baby to sleep? — You rocket!
What is a parasite? — Something you see in Paris.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? — To get to the other slide!
How do you get the water into watermelon? — Plant it in the spring!
Why was the boy covered in gift wrap? — His mom told him to “Live in the present!”
Throughly enjoyed …Office work was getting a bit tedious, wanted something to pep me up. Your page did the trick. Brought back memories 40 years back, when we used to impress the girls with these one liners…Cheers
Tushar
Do doctors make house calls? only when your house is really sick!
why was it so hot after the football game? because all of the fans left!!! (HA HA HA….by far the best one)
My personal favorite is the game and fans left as posted above…but the halloween one…
What did one casket say to the other casket? Is that you coffin?
I cant say which is my favorite, but I LOVE the laffy taffy jokes. They are so clever, and cute, and they put me in a good mood.
What kind of candy is always late? a choco-late!!!
how do you keep a fish from smelling? put a clothes-pin on its nose!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
Wuts green,black,white,black,green?
Two pickles fighting for an OREO! bahaha. man o man.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Cows say.
Cows say who?
No silly cows say moo!
haha gets me everytime! :]
Why did the cowboy buy a weiner dog?
because someone told him to get along little doggy
Why was Cinderella so bad at sports?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball
What did the mexican fire chief name his two sons?
Hose A and Hose B
What are caterpillars afraid of?
Dogerpillars
What is Green and Sings?
Elvis Parsely
mkaaay.
why did the chicken cross the road?
-to get to the other sideee!
why did the gummmm cross the road?
-because it was stuck to the chicken’s feet!!!
ahhh, hahahaha.
😀
why did the monkey fall out of the tree?..
– cause it was dead!…
why did the duck fall out of the tree?..
– cause it was stappled to the monkey
mwa ha ha ha
much love 😀
this was so great told these to my co- workers in a call center while we where working and it realy made the day go by we all loved it -sophia va beach va
what do eskimos get when they sit on ice too long?
POLARoids!! hahahah
i LOOVE that one:)
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday& Sunday, The rest are weak-days!
: ]
Why don’t ducks tell jokes while they are flying?
Because they would quack up.
what is underneath a roosters wing?
Answer: A Cockpit
If there was one, what would be the bounty
on a pirate?
Answer: about a buck an ear (buccaneer)
Q: What did one math book say the other?
A: I don’t know about you but I have a lot of problems!!!!!
Non-PG version: add me, subtract the lights, divide your legs and lets multiply!!!!!
why was the tomato blushing??
because it saw the salad dressing!!
that’s my favorite!!
What’s the difference between a jeweler and a jailer…?
…One sells watches and the other watches cells.
I read that one in a Laffy Taffy probably 20 years ago, back when they were wrapped in squares with the jokes printed on the inside of the wrapper.
What did the cabbage preacher say to his church?
Lettuce pray!
Wow, some of these are great.
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his Sleevies!
What’s is a dentist’s favorite instrument???
A tuba tooth paste 🙂
What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle?
You mean a great DILL to me!!
What does a pig write with?
An oink pen.
Why did the children all eat their homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Haha these are great! lol real knee slappers =D
So anways
What did one sandwich say to the other sandwich?? — your full of bologna!
Oh gee, i have too much fun with that one
What do yuh call Lassie with a rose in his mouth?
Collie flower. (cauliflower) 😛
What do you call a highway potrolman with a diaper on- A pooper trooper!
We have taken a vote in our office where we LIVE on Laffy Taffy.
The top two in the office are:
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef Jerky!
What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?
Both have Sandy Claws!
By far the best two
very cute jokes but my fav…
How do you make a tissue dance?
you put a little boogie in it!!
why was the ocean arrested?
because he kept beating up on the beach…
my FAVORITE Laffy Taffy joke:
What kind of cheese isn’t your cheese?!
NACHO Cheese!!!!
HAHAHA after all these years, it still makes me laugh =]
I say that one all the time!
why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
cause if they had 4 they would be a chicken sedan
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
best joke in the whole WORLD
What do girls and sentences have in common?
They both have periods!!!
what do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear!!
Where did the Spaghetti go to dance? The meat ball!!!!
Well my girlfriend told me this one for like every day for a fortnight so I think I have the right to steal it 🙂
What did one cornflake say to another cornflake?
I’ll tell you next week it’s a cereal!
I know it’s one to groan at 🙂
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
He was scared of the bark!
My favorite one is:
When does it rain money? -when theres change in the weather!!! HHHHAAA!!!
Why do gorilla’s have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!!!
Hee Hee Hee!!!!
Whats the best way to brush your hare?
Hold him firmly by his long ears and brush gently.
Hilarious!
My son’s fav.
Why couldnt orange roll UP the hill
It ran out of JUICE
LOL
Why did the man take a hammer to bed?
He wanted to hit the sack.
Why do mother kangaroos hate the rain?
Because the kids have to play inside all day.
What do you call a pony with a cough……
A little hoarse!
hahahahahaha
dude these are awesome!! they make me smile :]]
These are cute! I luv laffy taffy!
why was the belt arrested??????????
for holding up the pants
LOL these are great — some of my favs:
What do you call one cow spying on another cow?
-A steak out.
Why was the policeman in bed?
-He was undercover.
Why was six afraid of seven?
-Because seven eight(ate) nine!
There were two muffins in an oven and one muffin turned to the other and said, “MAN! IT”S HOT IN HERE” and the other muffin said, “AHHH! TALKING MUFFIN!”
LOLOLOLOL!! oh make my day.
What washes up on really small beaches?
– Microwaves.
:]
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
-Because if they flew over the bay they would be baygulls! ah haha! BAGELS!!
“What is Green and Sings?
Elvis Parsely”
Be more specific… i’ve always heard “whats green and sings blue suede shoes?” with the same answer
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his Quarterback!!!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogy in it! HAHA!
LOVE IT!
If two collars had a race how would it end??? In a tie! lol louv that one
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A GUMMY BEAR! =p
Why don’t ducks laugh?
– Because they’ll quack up
If you are an American in the kitchen, what nationality are you in the bathroom?
European
(Not a LT joke, but just as cheesy!)
HA!
Why did the cactus cross the road ?
because he was stuck to the chicken’s back.
bahahahaha. that’s flippin hilarious !
What do you call Lassie with a rose in her mouth?
A cauliflower.
what do a cow and a grape have in common?
they’re both purple…
except for the cow!!
:]] i love that one
omg paige.
i love that one!
its my favorite :p
Why did the mailman run from the tree?
Because he saw it’s bark.
nahahaha.
what do you get with a cat and a rock a catrock
What happens when you drop a duck egg? It quacks… so funny : D
Why are elephants big and grey??
-because if they were small and purple they’d be grapes!
hahaha =]
Why did the little mouse run away from home?
Because his father was a rat.
Why did the sun go to school?
It wanted to be brighter.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!
What do pigs put on their cuts?….Oinkment
HAHA:)
Why did the ghost sing off key?
He left his sheet music at home.
What’s the best way to brush your hare?
Hold him firmly by his long ears and brush gently.
I don’t know about that last one, but I transcribed it right off a Laffy Taffy wrapper.
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
– “Here come the elephants over the hill.”
What did Tarzan say when he say the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on?
– nothing, he didn’t recognize them.
Strait from LT wrappers
What is the best way to keep water from running?
Don’t pay the water bill.
How many vampires does it take to put in a light bulb?
None. Vampires like the dark.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients.
Why did the sky blush?????
Cos the sea weed.
My quad group at work buys laffy taffy just so we can tell the jokes in the afternoon. One of our favorites is What did the casket say to the other casket? Is that you coffin…Hilarious!
what is smarter than a parrot??
a spelling bee
Why did the man throw a cheerio off the roof?
Because he was a cereal killer
Here’s my favourite joke ever:
“What’s black and white and isn’t here anymore?”
“No more oreos.”
What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
These aren’t great, but they’re on the Laffy Taffy wrapper in front of me.
How far did the witch fly?
Ghost to ghost.
How does every baseball player get a hit?
He sings a song.
My friend and I are music people so this made us laugh when we read it from the back of a laffy taffy.
Why couldn’t Beethoven find his instructor?
Because he was Haydn.
Why didn’t the cat like the tree?
He was afraid of the bark!
What does a pig put on his cut?
Oinkment.
What did the hippo say to the elephant?
A: Lazerus
LOLOL
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? it felt like bakin’
Muahhahahaaa
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? it felt like bakin’
muahhahaha
Here’s another good one:
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus?
A porky-pine!!!
Best joke EVER!!
On my wrapper from Sat. night:
What is the biggest pencil in the world?
Pennsylvania.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Best laffy taffy joke I’ve ever heard.
Why don’t lobsters share?
because they’re shellfish!
what do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino??
—eliphino
What is colorful and has a horn???
…..a unicorn on top of a magic rainbow!!!!
What is green and big?
The world’s largest cucumber
What do you get when you cross a dragon fly and a head-less horse?
>>>>Head-less dragon horse fly
What do you call a sleep walking nun?
A Roman Catholic
Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?
Beacause he had noBODY to go with
These are def my fav haha!!
what do you call a sleep walking nun?
a roman catholic
why did the skeleton go to the movies alone?
because he had noBODY to go with
these are def my fav haha!!
which famous lady rode a camel and carried a lamp?
florence of arabia!
how can you tell if a vampire has a cold?
he starts coffin!
hahahahahahahah 8]
what is dracula’s favorite ice cream flavour?
vein-illa!
hahahahahahahahahaha
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
why don’t you tell a egg a joke? because it will crack up…
what is snake’s favorite subject?
hiss-tory…
why did Tommy throw the clock out the window?because he wanted to see time fly…
whats green and has 3 wheels??
grass…i was just kidding about the wheels part 😉
hahaha
i love this one:
what’s a cat’s favorite color? purrrrrple 😀
what do horses do to your teeth when thay buck?buckteeth
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: Pork Chop!!!
ALL time favorite!!
2 potatoes standing on the side of the road, one’s a prostitute, how do you know which one?
A: The one w/the IDAHO sticker!!!
Wow these are funny…
What’s brown, sticky, and goes by “log”?! A STICK!!! lol so funny
my favorite is
Two prezels were walking down the street … One was assaulted…
a salted
hahaha
did you hear about the circus that came to town? Ya it was in tents…intense get it haha
What kind of teeth can you buy for a dollar?
Buck teeth!
Why did the tomato blush?!?!?!….?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
LOL LOL Laugh Out Loud LOL GEE WIZ THATS FUNNY, I JUST PEED ALITTLE
Why was the little strawberry sad?
Because his mother was in a jam.
These are from my Laffy Taffy tonight:
Why did the bowling pins stop working?
~Because they went on STRIKE!
Why do fish swim in schools?
~Because they can’t WALK in schools…
the bowling pins one is one of the best ones I personally have found yet.
What flies and spins?
A cow in a tornadoes
hahahahahha
Ok, here are my favorite:
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs??
Hailing a taxi!
and……
Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk?
It’s all over town!
HA!
what did the mother cow say to its child on its first day of school? bison.
Why did the bones cross the road?
They didn’t; the dogs ate them.
Why did the bones cross the road?
They didn’t; the dogs ate them.
What is green and pecks on trees?
Woody wood pickle!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish? Get it? tune a, tuna!
What kind of pants do clouds wear?
Thunder wear
Why did the mouse sleep under the oil can?
So it wouldn’t be squeaky in the morning!
why is there so many people is Ireland?
cos the capital keeps dublin
Whats green hairy and in a jar?
Pickle Me Elmo
I have a pile of Laffy Taffy wrappers on my desk…
What do you call a mean-tempered horse?
A nightmare.
Where do fish sleep?
In a water bed!
What washes up on really small beaches?
Microwaves.
Why didn’t the bear cross the road?
Because he was beary scared.
What is a tree’s favorite drink?
Root beer.
How does a dinosaur come out of a pool?
Wet!
What did King Tut say when he got scared?
I want my mummy!
What do you call a grizzly bear standing in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
~Thunderwear!!!
A timeless classic!
What time did the little girl go to the dentist?
Tooth-thirty
Q—What does a Horse Say when It Falls Down???
A—I have Fallen and I cant GIDDY UP!!!!
Bahahahha….Lord Have mercy
OMG I LUV DA LAFFY TAFFY JOKES THEY KEEP ME LAUGH!!!!
BUT Y DO THEY CALL ME BLUE CHEESE??
CAUSE I B DRESSING!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOW DATS FUNNY
fuckin hilarious hahas lolololol OMG
lol… that was funny…
Why do mother kangaroos hate the rain??
Because the kids have to play inside all day!!!! HAAAA! …lol…
I like that one!
Why do eskimos wash their cloths in Tide?
Because it’s to cold out Tide!
Very funny my girl friend is obsessed with these jokes lol
I am cracking up. I love the BOLONEY one. Hahahaahahahahahahahahahaha
THESEE ARE THE BESTTT! LID AND DIL ARE CRACKING UP!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
How do you wake up Lady Gaga??
You Poke her face (say out loud)
How do you wake up Lady Gaga??
(say out loud) Poke Her Face.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide. :o)
Where do dogs park their cars?
In a barking lot!
I *heart* Laffy Taffy. :o) Thanks for the jokes.
i lovee thesssse…
why is the ocean waterrr blue?
cuz the fish go blu-blu-blu-blu
why did the chicken go to the library?
to check out a bawk bawk bawk
Why is Peter Pan always flying???
because he can NEVER NEVER LAND!!!!!!!!!
😀
HAHAHAHAHA I LOVED the poker face joke! My boyfriend loves lt jokes.
why did they bury the battery? BEACAUSE IT WAS DEAD!!! LOL!!
How do you make Beef Jerky?
Tickle a Cow!
LMFAO
WHY DO WITCHES FLY ON BROOMS?
BECAUSE VACUM CLEANERS ARE TO HEAVY.
WHAT DO BUNNIES SAY ON HALLOWEEN.
HAVE A ”HOPPY HALLOWEEN”
Why did the banana cross the road?
Because the chicken was eating it!
What is a corner’s favorite food?
Corn.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
a newspaper!
Why did Croc cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken for prey!
What is black, white, and red all over.
A zebra in an apple tree!
What seven letters did the girl say to her closet?
O-I-C-U-R-M-T.
What did the hamburger say to the steak?
I’m fat, I need to exercise.
How many apples does it take to change a lightbulb?
Because they’re so darn crunchy!
What is a spaghetti noodle’s favorite dance?
The meatball
Why didn’t the berry cross the road?
Because he was berry scared.
What do you get when you cross an apple and a plum?
A plumpple!
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They use the banana-ster!
What do you call a turtle that flies?
A shell-icopter!
What shoes do bananas wear?
Peelers!
Why did the shark cross the Great Barrier Reef?
To get to the other tide.
Which month do people talk the most?
May, because it’s the beggining of the summer!
Why did the chicken cross the mountain?
To get to the other sight.
What do you get when you cross a banana, an orange, and a pear?
A bareange!
What is the wind’s favorite day of the week?
Windsday!
When is it the best time of the week to make french fries on the grill?
Fryday!
Why was there tomato sauce all over the town?
Because there was a tomato tornado.
What did the little bag of flour ask the girl bag of flour?
Can you please give me a flour?
What is the number 2’s favorite day of the week?
Twosday
What do you call a strawberry that does not have a straw?
A rawberry!
Why did the onions get eaten by the kids?
Because they scared off the yellow-spotted lizards!
Here’s the worst one I’ve ever seen. Swear-to-god I found this on a yellow wrapper. Ready?
Why didn’t the duck cross the grill?
Because he didn’t want to be a roast duck!
That is thanks to Louis H. in St. Louis, MO. Louis H., if you’re reading this: You are NOT funny. But thanks for the best icebreaker ever.
What do you call a carrot mixed with Steven Hoy?
Carrot Hoy
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? – Make me one with everything.
What is a Pirates faviorte letter?
Arggh you would think it was the R but really it is the C (sea) Haha ha ha
What does a Pirate drink for breakfast? RRRange Juice.
What did the fish say when it hit the wall
A: DAM
What’s purple and crawls?
A wounded grape.
lol this one is retarded but it just gets me.
here’s more but theyre not laffy taffy jokes..
What did the doctor say to the midget?
You’ll just have to be a little patient
What did one worm say to the other worm?
Are you my ass?
A girl listening to her headphones said, “Country music is so sad. It’s all about dogs dying, and people cheating.”
I asked, “What do you get if you play a country song backwards?”
“Your dog, car, house, and wife back.”
What is the best way to brush your hare?
Hold it firmly by his long ears and brush gently.
Worst joke ever….
What do you call a flower under you nose?
– tulips
LMAO THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! 😀
what is a cows favourite movie?
mooooolan
these are the most stupid jokes i have ever heard……..they still made me laugh though..me and my lil cuz just wasted 10 minutes reading this.
What do you call a cow with a nervous twitch?
Beef Jerky! (that is my favorite Laffy Taffy Joke)
Q: Why did I put deodorant on one arm?
A. So I know what I would have smelled like!
Why isn’t a nose 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot!
What do you call a Laffy taffy joke that isn’t funny?
A Laffy tacky joke!!!!!
my cats name is taffy and his brothers name is
l a ff y!
Q. Why did the moron take a ladder to the bar?
A. Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
—-
Q. What did the doctor say to the patient who walked in with a banana in his ear, beans in his nose, and a salad on his head?
A. You’re not eating right.
—-
Q. What happened to the moron hockey team?
A. They drowned during spring training.
—-
Q. What coat do you put on wet?
A. A coat of paint.
—-
Two morons are walking toward each other on a country road. One is carrying a bag over his shoulder.
“What’s in the bag?”, asked one moron.
“Chickens”, replied the other.
“If I guess how many, can I have one of them?”
“You can have both of them!”
“Ok. Five?”
Q:WHY DID THE JELLY ROLL???
A:BECAUSE IT SAW THE APPLE TURNOVER!!!
HANDS DOWN BEST JOKE EVER!
What did the horse with Life Alert say?
Help! I’ve fallen and i cant Giddy Up!
bahahahaha
Favorite Laffy Taffy Jokes:
How do Billboards talk??? —-They use sign language!
What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar? —Buck teeth!
Why did the old lady tie roller skates to her rocking chair? —Because she wanted to rock and roll!
Why did the man put his car in the oven? —Because he wanted a Hot Rod!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? —He had no body to go with!
Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him? —To see how long he slept!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where’s my tractor?
What is green an pecks on trees?. . .Woody Wood Pickle!
Hahahaha
OH MY FREAKIN GOD!!! i love that joke, i seriously tell it to ppl all the time!!!
What clothes do you put on for church? Holy Clothes!
Lmaooo i enjoyed the 1st part, i can crack up to these jokes every time i read 1. I love these jokes.
why did the spirit join the baseball team? To give them team spirit
What do you call a man in your mail box with no arms and no legs?
– Bill
What do you call a man in water with no arms and no legs?
– Bob
What do you call a man with on arms and no legs on your front porch?
– Matt
What do you call a lady with one eye and one leg?
– Ilene (i lean)
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
– Because pepper water would make them sneeze
My little sister and I have been trying to figure out for hours now, what on earth is a flash garden, and why does it have the most vegetables???????
Wat the hell is a flash garden and why does it have the most vegetables?????????
haha why did the boy take toilet paper to the party?
he was a party pooper!
You hear bout the race between the Lettuce, the Tomato and the Faucet?
The Lettuce was Ahead.
The Tomato couldn’t Ketchup.
And the Faucet just kept right on running…
LOL
what color is a burp?
Burple
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face
you: why did the chicken cross the road?
them: i dont know
you: to get to your house!!
… long awkward pause …
you: knock knock
them: who’s there?
you: the chicken!!!
What is the nickname for a monkey with pants? MONKEY PANTS!!!!!!!!
I love that one!:)
OMG i love it, makes me giggle and laugh in the middle of class
Whitney Myler knew all the answers, just to let you know. Shes great.
What a bow u can’t tie? a rainbow
Why doesn’t a seagull fly over the bay?
Because then it would be a baygull!
What’s the first step in throwing a party in space?
You planet.
What is an owl’s favorote subject?
– OWL-gebra
What has two knees and Swims?
A twokneefish
Pingback: Laffy Taffy Jokes (the worst jokes in the world) - WARNING! Some real GROANERS!
What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt.
what is the definition of a farmer? Someone who is outstanding in his field 😉
Where does a one legged waitress work?
Ihop
What did the doctor say to the midget in the waiting room?
You just have to be a little patient.
i found one yesterday and it made me crack up
what did the horse say when he fell down?
-help! ive fallen and i can’t giddy-up!
what driver will never get arrested ?
A screw driver !
Pingback: Funny Jokes Laffy Taffy | phearin
Pingback: Funny Jokes Laffy Taffy | Welcome to Atkhmer
What do you call a T Rex that joined the circus? A carni-vore.
What does a girl ghost wear in her hair? A dead band
What kind of meat do dogs cook on the grill on the 4th of July? Bark-Beque