Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Life Hacks

I’m bookmarking this page entirely for my own self-awareness, but if you happen to find it helpful, that would be cool also.

Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended
When you live at or below ordinary levels of awareness, you spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended. A news report, an economic downturn, a rude stranger, a fashion miscue, someone cursing, a sneeze, a black cloud, any cloud, an absence of clouds — just about anything will do if you’re looking for an occasion to be offended. Along the extra mile, you’ll never find anyone engaging in such absurdities. Become a person who refuses to be offended by any one, any thing, or any set of circumstances. If something takes place and you disapprove, by all means state what you feel from your heart; and if possible, work to eliminate it and then let it go.
Most people operate from the ego and really need to be right. So, When you encounter someone saying things that you find inappropriate, or when you know they’re wrong, wrong, wrong, forget your need to be right and instead say, “You’re right about that!” Those swords will end potential conflict and free you from being offended. Your desire is to be peaceful — not to be right, hurt, angry, or resentful. If you have enough faith in your own beliefs, you’ll find that it’s impossible to be offended by the beliefs and conduct of others.
Not being offended is a way of saying, “I have control over how I’m going to feel, and I choose to feel peaceful regardless of what I observe going on.” When you feel offended, you’re practicing judgment. You judge someone else to be stupid, insensitive, rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, or foolish, and then you find yourself upset and offended by their conduct. What you may not realize is that when you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.

Continue ReadingStop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended

Don’t Be That Guy

Cool Design Guy Brian Veloso has a fun forum called “Don’t Be That Guy” where you can post stories about the people who step on you in traffic, at work, as clients, etc.
It’s a funny idea, but I’m afraid I’m too often “that guy” (or girl, if you’re hung up on the gender of it) to go around pointing it out in others, except as a cautionary tale for myself. I strive not to be, and I’m a lot more conscious lately of where I’m automatically negative about something, when there’s no need to be. Being in a relationship has certainly helped me recognize where I’m inappropriately negative, and where I need to smooth out my communication skills to explain what I’m really thinking so as not to upset the charming, lovely woman who’s sweet enough to go out with me.
Another thing I’ve started doing, or rather stopped doing, is reading so much political news, which does nothing but make me angry about stuff I can’t change. And I have a whole Newsfeed category of “Positive Thinkers” — people who come at things from an optimistic, “how can I make this better” approach. I hope I can eventually put my own feed in that group.
So the “don’t hire negative people” slide at the Getting Real Workshop really struck home. Not that they’d ever hire me, but if I were rejected by them, I’d want it to be because of my work, rather than my personality. That’s a tough thought to express, I hope it came out right.

Continue ReadingDon’t Be That Guy

House Hunting

Sunday we looked at two houses. The first we’ve eliminated from the equation; it was a 802 N. Highland in Cottage Homes. I might throw up the pictures of it later, because we’ve ruled it out. It was a cute little cottage, but was too much work to update the interior.

The second house we saw was pretty amazing. It has pretty much everything we have on our needs list, and what’s on our “wants” list also. The drawbacks are:

  1. Looks like the roof and gutters need work
  2. The bedrooms are oddly configured and might be awkward for our living needs (the lots of clothes issue)
  3. It’s just outside our price range (although we’re pre-approved for it)
  4. Its only the third house we’ve seen
  5. We’d have to jump on it pretty quickly, because it’s desirable, so it would be a sudden move.

Our realtor is nervous about the house because it’s unusual for someone to settle on a house this quickly — and I freely admit I fall in love with houses way too easily. So we’re looking at more stuff.

But there are some things about this house that really make my heart sing:

  1. it’s in a quiet, low crime downtown neighborhood I really want to live in. (Most else we’ve pulled up on Mibor is in Irvington. Which is cool — but you can’t get to Irvington from anywhere.)
  2. The laundry room is upstairs on the second floor, near the bedrooms (sheer decadent heaven!)
  3. The yard is nice and large for dogs to run around in.
  4. It’s Victorian, and looks it inside.
  5. The front porch is huge!
  6. Oh, yeah, this is funny: It has a murphy bed

I know I shouldn’t be attached to this house, and that we should look at more.

Continue ReadingHouse Hunting

You Know You Were A Little Girl Of The 70’s If:

This is the most accurate of these lists I have ever seen! I’ve checked off all the ones that are mine.

You wore that rainbow shirt that was half-sleeves and the rainbow went up one sleeve, across your chest and down the other…

You made baby chocolate cakes in your Holly Hobby Easy Bake Oven. You washed them down with The Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.

You had that Fisher Price Doctor’s kit with a stethoscope that actually worked. After training with these tools you became an expert at the game of “operation”.

Legos, Legos, Legos.

You owned a schwinn bicycle with a floral banana seat and a basket. In the early 80’s you moved onto the ever-popular 10 speed. God that seat hurt.

Your roller skates had metal wheels.

Admit it…… you thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute. You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island.

You had rubber boots for rainy days. Your shoes actually fit inside of the boots (with a little help from your mom and some plastic bags).

You had Tinkerbell bath products that change the color of the bath water. {yes, mine were from Avon}

You had either a “bowl cut” or a “pixie” because your mom was sick of braiding your hair. How traumatic when people thought you were a boy.

Your sleeping bag was your most prized possession. {yep, my red snoopy bag}

You wore a “poncho” with your faux fur “muff” and your clogs.

You begged Santa for the electronic game… Simon which may be just as fun as 온카.

You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple shredded outfits. {didn’t have the dolls, but loved the show. My mom bought me purple socks to match Donnie’s. Too bad he’s such a jerk now.}

You spent hours out back on your metal swing set with the trapeze.

You were into ping pong. {This is Cate!}

You had homemade string barrettes in every imaginable color.

You kept losing your mittens so your mom bought you the kind that were attached by a string.

Your Hello Kitty pencil case was cuter than anyone else’s.

You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad. You wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffled shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture. You despised Nellie Olson! {Not just the shirt! I had a whole dress mom made for me, and a BONNET! And I had all the books. Laura was cool. She still is.}

You wanted your first kiss to be at the roller rink.

Your hairstyle was ever described as having “wings”.

Strawberry Shortcake and her friends Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie. {This was more my little sister’s thing. And she loved the Peculiar Purple Pieman Of Porkupine Peak.}

You carried a Muppets lunch box to school. {I can’t remember my lunch box, except that I hated it because the other kids laughed at it.}

You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazard was your boyfriend. {Well, not really. I wanted the car.}

You memorized every song on the “Annie” movie and know at least one person who immediately went out and got the Annie afro. Every now and then “Dumb Dog” will pop into your brain and you can’t stop singing it all day. {yes. I was actually offended when they remade it for tv on ABC last year. I thought the movie was the definitive version.}

You had Star Wars action figures, too. {yep, Leia. I have the new ones too.}

Lightsabers were the dream, weren’t they? Back then, we’d wave around plastic versions, making the sounds with our mouths, pretending we were in some epic duel. Now, it’s a whole different game. With custom sabers online, you can get hilts that look straight out of a Jedi temple, with glowing blades that hum just like in the movies. The best part? Some brands, like Theory Sabers, perfect with every little detail—colors, even the way the blade ignites. It’s not just for collecting anymore; these things are built for full-on dueling.

You thought unicorns were real. {I had every book you could think of and all these little ceramic figurines, and people gave them to me long after I stopped collecting them. Grandma gave me a unicorn a few years ago for Christmas.}

It was a big event in your household each year when the Wizard of Oz” would come on TV. Break out the popcorn and sleeping bags! {yes! I had a huge crush on Glinda.}

You wanted to be a part of the Von Trappe family. {yep! Love Julie Andrews, too.}

Light as a feather, stiff as a board. {yes, But that wasn’t as good a slumber party stunt as stealing everyone’s bras when they were asleep, getting them wet, and putting them in the freezer.}

You loved The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe so much you got the whole Chronicles of Narnia series for Christmas but never read the other books. {Well, I actually read all the books. I read them again in 1997.}

You completely wore-out your Grease and Saturday Night Fever soundtrack albums. {yep. I remember mom coming downstairs and catching me singing and doing a dance routine to Grease.}

You tried to do lots of arts and crafts things like yarn & Popsicle stick God’s Eyes or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom. {yes. Mom still has all this stuff in her house – the gods eyes and string art stuff is still hanging in our old rooms.}

Shrinky-dinks! What was so appealing about these? I loved the Raggedy Anne & Andy shrinky dinks. I still remember how the oven smelled when they were “baking”. {Everyone at work has been looking for these! We want to do some now that we’re adults. We feel we’re better artists now. A very helpful reader sent this in… you can buy a Shrinky Dinks book.}

You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your miniature tape recorder up to the speaker. {yes, but the best thing to record was when we recorded my dad yelling his head off and played it back later, over and over, until he caught us.}

You couldn’t wait to get the free animal poster that came when you ordered books from the scholastic book orders your teacher would give you. Remember? The order catalogs looked like miniature newspapers. {yes. I had sooooo many of these books.}

You learned everything you needed to know about sex and your period from Judy Blume books. {yes, including that one that the neighbor girl loaned me, and mom took away because it described sex. But I snuck down and read it in the middle of the night.}

Continue ReadingYou Know You Were A Little Girl Of The 70’s If:

Weekend Update 2006-03-19

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Journal

It’s been one of those weekends where I putter about and do a lot of little organizing and putting things away, but the house seems as cluttered as when I started. I hauled a lot of the recycling in (I still need to work on the paper/cardboard recycling) but there are still major areas I need to get under control, like the “spare room” down stairs, which is where I store all my tools and household supplies, and the office, where I desperately need to get an organization scheme in place for office supplies and computer-related cords, cables, etc. I also need to consolidate items from the laundry room with items from the spare room and get them under control.

All my plans are complicated by my discovery that the bathroom sink downstairs has a leaky faucet, which is dripping down behind the vanity and making the floor damp. This is one of the really poorly plumbed utilities in the house (courtesy of the previous owner), so fixing it is going to be a headache. Even turning off the valve under the sink is a chore; the knobs on the valve are so old and corroded that they’re stuck.

Sisyphus
Futility

On the bright side, I just started watching the sci-fi channel’s new version of the Brit classic Dr. Who, and it looks smashing. (I can use that word; my sister’s British!) Watching this, combined with the BBC America production of Hustle, which is also set in London, so makes me want to live there. Why can’t we have red buses, black cabs and cool phone booths?

Continue ReadingWeekend Update 2006-03-19

McDonalds Employees Make Own Recipes from McD’s Ingredients

Boing Boing links to a Live Journal community of McDonalds employees that make their own recipes (for back room and after hours consumption) using the ingredients from McDonalds foods.
We did this back when I was in college and working at Mickey D’s in the summer time, and got in so much trouble for it when we got caught. You’d be surprised what you could make, especially with the ingredients from salads. We had a pretty healthy chicken burrito similar to what they’re describing, made from the diced chicken that went on salads, combined with lettuce and the tortillas from breakfast burritos. We also had a version of the “Orange Julius” (shake ingredients mixed with orange drink) that they’re making, too, and lots of variations on the McNuggets, because those were fairly new in my day.
They have a lot more specialty ingredients to choose from these days, lucky kids. Oh, wait. They work at Mickey D’s — they’re not that lucky.

Continue ReadingMcDonalds Employees Make Own Recipes from McD’s Ingredients

I give up. I’ll go to the doctor

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Journal

Sunday morning, I woke up with a stiff neck. I assumed I slept wrong, although this rarely happens as I have some really comfortable pillows. Monday morning my neck was worse, and the pain spread down to my shoulders and back. I had a terrible time concentrating, and I felt achy all over. Tuesday, I had a terrible headache with the stiff neck, and considered not going to work. I was also having shortness of breath. Wednesday, the shortness of breath turned into a feeling of my lungs burning. I took my temperature, but I didn’t have a fever; it was 97.4 degrees. My headache was gone, but my back and shoulders ached even more, and the pain was all the way down my spine. I felt like I had been beaten with a baseball bat.
I made an appointment with the doctor for Thursday morning, but when I woke up the burning in my lungs was gone, (although I still had shortness of breath) so I canceled it and went to work, because I had to check some changes into our company’s intranet, and I didn’t want to put that off on anyone else.
This morning the pain in my back and whole body is still there. I still have the shortness of breath. I just took my temperature, and it’s 100 degrees. I still can’t concentrate, and all of my lymph nodes are swollen. I give up — I’ll go to the doctor.

Continue ReadingI give up. I’ll go to the doctor

house hunting ideas

Some notes we’re making about hunting for a new house, that will help us narrow down our search and also help our realtor (yes we have a great realtor) find properties to suggest to us.

Things about us
we have lots of clothes
we have lots of books
we have 1 dog & 4 cats
we have 3 cars
we recycle everything (and need to store recycling)
we both need office space
we both have craft projects/board games (table space separate from dining)
we like interesting architecture
we like having friends visit, and occasionally having parties

Needs
3 or 4 bedrooms – (space for offices, guests, craft room)
at least 1 and 1/2 bathrooms (ours and room for guests)
shower – bigger than a stall
8’6″ ceilings – for bookcases
2 car garage or better
fenced in backyard for Spike (or ability to easily fence in)
kitchen with lots of storage and easy to cook in
good mechanicals
neighborhood we can walk around in and enjoy
reasonable commute to work for both of us
outdoor living space – front porch or patio area where we can entertain, and yard where we can garden/grow raspberries
little to no renovation or improvements necessary
quiet street without lots of traffic & noise
lots of light – large windows, southern exposure
interior house style that’s artistic and interesting
ability to have friends park nearby when they come to visit

Wants
walk-in closets and lots of room for clothes
pantry area for food storage and to hide recycling collection
wood floors!!
recent updates to plumbing, heating, AC
space to display VW collectibles
ability to install solar panels someday
medium-sized yard (decent distance from neighbors)
exterior house style that’s artistic and interesting
attached garage
paved driveway
Herron-Morton neighborhood/downtown neighborhood
Broad Ripple/Monon area?? Meridian-Kessler? Butler-Tarkington? Rocky Ripple?

Dreams
enviro-friendly house (heating, efficient appliances, solar panels)
gazebo (with Rolf)
room for kitty jungle gym

Continue Readinghouse hunting ideas