Little Known “Facts”

Many of these “facts” have been debunked at one time or another on snopes.com. So take them with a grain of salt.

101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon movies where both parents are present and don’t die during the movie.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A cat’s urine glows under a blacklight.

A cockroach will live nine days without it’s head before it starves to death.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

A polar bear’s skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4.

Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

City with the most Rolls Royce’s per capita: Hong Kong.

Coca-cola was originally green.

Conception occurs more often in December than any other month.

Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider?

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.

Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury.

Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.

Honey is the only food that doesn’t spoil.

“I am” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

In Indiana it is illegal to ride public transportation for at least 30 minutes after eating garlic.

In Minnesota it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head.

In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

It’s impossible to get water out of a rimless tire.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

Los Angeles’s full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" – and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A."

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

More women Wash their hands in the bathroom than men. Women: 80%, Men: 55%

Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

No president of the United States was an only child.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

Only 14 percent of Ammericans say they’ve gone Skinny Dipping with the opposite sex.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Polar bears are left handed.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2) poodle; 3) golden retriever. Dumbest dog: Afghan.

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

Starfishes haven’t got brains.

State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one-mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The average chocolate bar has 8 insects’ legs in it.

In his/her lifetime, the average person accidentally eats 8 spiders at night.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, making the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s "It’s A Wonderful Life."

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

The longest town name in the world has 167 letters.

The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. (That’s if you don’t use North and South for America.)

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.

The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.

The pop you get when you crack your knuckles is actually a bubble of gas bursting.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

The venom in a Daddy Long-Legs spider is more poisonous than a Black Widow’s or a Brown Recluse, but they cannot bite humans because their jaws won’t open wide enough.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There’s no Betty Rubble in Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

Vatican City is the smallest country in the world, with a population of 1,000 and a size of 108.7 acres.

What separates 60 Minutes from every other TV show? No theme song/music.

What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is most ironic? He was allergic to carrots.

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state’s third largest city.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.

You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

Continue ReadingLittle Known “Facts”

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

These are jokes, and not intended to be taken seriously. Please view the site disclaimer.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"

Whistle the first 7 notes of "It’s a Small World" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout Cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Ever had a Wet Willy?"

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral."

One word: Flatulence!

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

Do Tai Chi exercises.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I’ve got new socks on."

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, doggone motion sickness!"

Give religious tracts to each passenger.

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" while continuously pushing buttons.

Holler, "Chutes away!!" whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You’re one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, then say, "Mmmmm…..tasty!"

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a hand puppet and talk to the other passengers "through" it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

Play the accordion.

Shadow box.

Say, "Ding!" at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say, "I wonder what all these do?" and then push ALL the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger, "Wanna see wha in muh mouf??"

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Carry a blanket a clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it’s getting bigger."

If anyone brushes against you, recoil fiercely and scream, "BAD TOUCH!"

Continue ReadingFun Things To Do In An Elevator

You Know You Work In The ’90s When…

“Cleaning up the dining area” means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.

Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s home page to your bookmarks.

You have a "to-do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.

You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.

Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.

You consider 2nd day Air Delivery and Inner-office Mail painfully slow.

You assume any question about whether to valet park or not is rhetorical.

You refer to your flat filing cabinet as “the dining room table.”

Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.

Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don’t even exist anymore.

You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process.

You get all excited when it’s Saturday so you can wear sweats to work.

You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.

You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.

You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.

You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next door neighbors.

You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.

You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.

You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o’clock.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

It’s dark when you drive to and from work.

Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

"Communication" is something your group is having problems with.

You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.

Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

Art involves a white board.

You’re already late on the assignment you just got.

Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

Being sick is defined as “can’t walk” or “you’re in the hospital.”

Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

Your boss’ favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you’re freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."

Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".

Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

You get really excited about a 3% pay raise.

You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!

Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets combined.

You read this entire list and understood it.

Continue ReadingYou Know You Work In The ’90s When…

The 8 Worst Convenience Foods

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  • Post category:Funny Lists

By PENMART10@aol.com

8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA):
Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well,harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain medicinal benefits (as asource of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to aclassic case of the cure being worse than the disease.

7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports):
The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label — he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered.

6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.):
If you’re really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you’ll be pleased to learn that a single serving of pork brains has 1,170 percent of our recommended daily cholesterol intake. All the more ingenious, then, that the label on this product helpfully features a recipe for brains and scrambled eggs.

5. Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken (Sweet Sue Kitchens, Inc.):
From its size (think growth-impaired Cornish hen) to its overall appearance (it’s stewed in a quivering mass of aspic goop), this product may change forever your idea of what constitutes a chicken. Gives new meaning to the old line about meat "falling off the bone."

4. Musk Life Savers (Nestle Confectionery):
You may think musk is a scent, but over in Australia, they think it’s a candy flavor. A candy flavor that tastes disturbingly like raw meat, to be precise. But what did you expect from a country where everyone happily consumes Vegemite?

3. Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring (recently discontinued by Bar Food Products):
Possibly the world’s most bizarre prepackaged tavern snack. Interestingly, the product’s titular robin isn’t actually blind, he’s blindfolded — the better, presumably, to avoid looking at these heavily salted herring strips, which look like giant slugs.

2. Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate (Kylmaenen Oy):
This Finnish canned good may not be particulary tasty, but at least it answers the age-old question of why Rudolph was so eager for that safe, steady job on Santa’s sleigh team — he didn’t want to end up a cracker spread.

1. Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.):
Nothing you’ve ever consumed can prepare you for the horror that is clam jerky. Still, this product does score a sort of conceptual coup: If you’re the sort who’s always found raw clams too slimy and gelatinous for your taste, these dried, shriveled mollusks will help you dislike clams on a whole new level.

Continue ReadingThe 8 Worst Convenience Foods

Yes, They Really Said That…

Unbelievable quotes of the rich and famous. (Don’t overlook the Dan Quayle, who gets a page of his very own: Quayle-isms

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." — Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

Continue ReadingYes, They Really Said That…

Quayle Quotes

No Dan Quayle
No Dan Quayle

Recently, Dan Quayle announced his intentions to run for President of the U.S. in 2000. Since many younger voters may not have been watching the news when these were said the first time, we provide you with this list of famous Quayle quotes.

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit… Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
— Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century."
— Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy – but that could change."
— 5/22/89

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’."
— 12/6/89

"May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world."
— The Quayles’ 1989 Christmas card.

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
— 11/30/88

"We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
— 9/21/88

"I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made."
— Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89

"Public speaking is very easy."
— to reporters in 10/88

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
— 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
— 9/22/90

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
— 9/5/90

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
— 9/18/90

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between
a mother and child. "
— on Republican family values

"What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
— at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to waste"

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
— on the complex social issues behind the Los Angeles Riots

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the
only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people"

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
— on the San Francisco earthquake

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may
not occur."

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago."

"It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment.
It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"[It’s] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of
Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate."

"If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make."

"We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

Continue ReadingQuayle Quotes

Darwin Awards 1999

The Darwin Awards, for those not familiar, are for those individuals who contribute to the survival of the fittest by eliminating themselves from the gene pool before they have a chance to breed.

NOMINEE No. 1 [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a Shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

Continue ReadingDarwin Awards 1999

The Wedding

Author Unknown

It’s not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She’s not marrying the best man.

They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won’t try to run her life, and he won’t try to run his, either.

He believes that marriage and a career don’t mix. So after the wedding, he plans to quit his job.

All marriages are happy. It’s living together afterwards that is difficult.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

After the wedding ceremony was over, a little girl asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another."

They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But, he finally decided to let her go.

He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You’re the boss."

If it weren’t for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

Continue ReadingThe Wedding

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Author Unknown

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.

Patron: No, it’s still there.

Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I’m running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.

Patron: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.

[Waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There’s a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . $10.00

Editors Note: Bug in the soup included at no extra charge (will be fixed with Tomorrow’s soup of the day)

Continue ReadingIf Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Top 21 Indicators You May Be An Email Junkie

1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

2. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher."

3. You name your children Eudora, Mozillia and Dotcom.

4. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap….and your child in the overhead compartment.

6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

7. You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.

8. You start using smileys in your snail mail.

9. Your hard drive crashes. You haven’t logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP’s access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem…And you succeed.

10. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using your word processor.com

11. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

12. You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."

13. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

14. Your cat has its own home page.

15. You can’t call your mother…she doesn’t have a modem.

16. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

17. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

18. You don’t know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

19. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

20. You tell the cab driver you live at http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.shtml.

21. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂

Continue ReadingTop 21 Indicators You May Be An Email Junkie