You know how you find a site that you really like, and you read it and enjoy it and show it to everyone you know? And you go along and after awhile the site changes, and you find yourself enjoying it less and less, and then there gets to be a point at which you go, this is not so much fun anymore?

And then one day someone posts something that you really don’t agree with, and you state your case in the comments, and they churn and rationalize about why they’re right, and finally you give up and say “unsubscribe”? I guess It’s the “it’s not you, it’s me” moment for one of my former favorites – Shakesville.

Even some of the best-intentioned communities can turn insular and unable to admit when they’re wrong, and vicious towards anyone who even questions their ideas, sadly. Granted, I only get the stray, inane comments on my blog, so I don’t have a lot of moderation to worry about. And I know that managing a large community must be stressful. But… I don’t know how to express it, exactly. There seems to be a level of tolerance that they demand towards their own writing that they don’t return to the people who make comments, ask questions, or post opinions on their threads. The level of snide that comes from some of their posters/moderators, particularly deeky, towards anyone that has a thought they’ve haven’t embraced is too much. I don’t want to read that every day.

I’m auditioning Feministe as my new regular feminism reading to keep me up on what’s going on in feminist thought. We’ll see if that’s a better fit.

Continue ReadingDealbreakers

About Roman Polanski

I’m sure you’ve had an opportunity to read all the media circus surrounding the arrest of movie director Roman Polanski. Over on Shakesville, Melissa McEwan notes and discusses several of the high-profile people defending him, including Harvey Weinstein, Debra Winger and Whoopi Goldberg. And on another blog post, she lists others.

I’m deeply disappointed by celebrities coming to his defense.

I know for certain 5 people who were molested as children or as teens – I probably know more than that, but those are the folks with whom I’ve actually held conversations about their experiences. Of those 5, all of them have been deeply affected by what happened to them, all of them have difficulty with romantic relationships, all of them have contemplated or attempted suicide. Some of them struggle with other demons – alcoholism and dissociative identity disorder among them.

If i could magically make their lives whole again by pushing a button and deleting every Roman Polanski movie ever made – picture me right now pushing that button, over and over again.

Continue ReadingAbout Roman Polanski

Using the Sexism on the Left

Zuzu has an interesting post at Shakesville about how the choice of Palin may be an attempt to use the unchecked sexism within the Democratic Party against it:

Right on cue, the sexist attacks against Palin began on the left– which the McCain people were undoubtedly counting on.

Let’s look at how McCain’s selection of Palin fits in to the Rovian playbook. Already, feminists on the left are asking whether McCain thinks that women vote with their vaginas — but that only allows the GOP to turn that back on the Dems and ask why feminists think that Palin was chosen only because she’s a woman. Same with all the “what kind of mother” talk — aren’t Democrats the ones who are supposed to be all for working mothers?

Then there’s all the “Governor Barbie,” bimbo, golddigger, VPILF, CUNTRY, etc. crap. Oh, the Republicans will undoubtedly say, look how much the Democrats value women. All that unity business was a steaming pile of bullshit; they don’t value you when the chips are down.

And what the Republicans will do that the Democrats will not is call out the misogyny against their candidate. I’ve said it before — the Republicans would never, in a million years, stand by and let the media and the party rank-and-file treat one of their female candidates the way that Clinton got treated during the primary.
Thus, they turn a Democratic strength into a weakness. Or, rather, expose it as a weakness.

Now, as to why I don’t think that McCain actually thinks that disaffected Democratic women will flock to him just because he picked a wingnut gun-nut creationist woman with some ethical problems as a running mate: because he doesn’t have to get them to vote for him. He has to get them to stay home in swing states.

And what better way to get them to stay home than pick a running mate who not only helps him with his own base, but whose very physical presence he knows will bring out the misogynist bully boys who made Hillary’s life (and those of her supporters) such hell? The ones who never tire of making it perfectly clear that women who want attention paid to their issues in this election are not welcome in the Democratic Party?

Making it all the more perfect is the fact that Obama is boxed in — if he fails to rein in the football hooligans who comprise his rabid fan base, he will be (rightly) accused of supporting the misogynistic attacks against Palin, but if he publicly reins them in, he will be (rightly) accused of failing to do the same when those attacks were directed against Clinton, which will allow the Republicans to question the legitimacy of the process that put him over the top on the delegate count.

That genie isn’t going back into the bottle, not now.

And all those football hooligan fanboys who’ve turned their unleashed ids onto Palin now that Hillary’s out of the race and in the fold? They’re doing Karl Rove’s work for him. And so are the astroturfers and concern trolls.

I supposed Rove is enough of a snake to think that strategy all the way through — and to see the sexism of the Left/Democrats for what it really is; a dangerous, handy tool to be used against them. Whether he picked the right woman to place in the VP slot is another story, but the idea is plausible.

Continue ReadingUsing the Sexism on the Left

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Gee, that sounds familiar…

Remember a couple days ago when I said If it were up to me…. and I proposed a new way of doing the primaries that would be more fair? That post did get linked to by about 40 sites… but apparently not everyone likes to give credit.

Check this out on Shakespeare’s Sister:

It wouldn’t have to be hard. Divide the country up into five groups of states, starting with the 10 smallest, then next-10 smallest, and so forth. Run 10-state primaries every other week from the first Tuesday of February through the first Tuesday of April. If you want, put Iowa and New Hampshire in the first group for old-time’s sake. Craft a federal law that sets basic criteria for the primary: the value of each state in delegates, the means of apportioning delegates. Give the parties some input, but make this a federally operated election — meaning it’s time to eliminate caucuses, and replace them with primaries.

Dude, that’s uncool.

Continue ReadingGee, that sounds familiar…

Brad Pitt: I’ll marry when everyone can

via Shakesville, this article on Yahoo:

“Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able,” the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine’s October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19.

That is pretty awesome. I have to admit that at each of the three weddings we’ve been to in the past year, although I was deeply supportive of the happy couple, there was a part of me that resented their ability to get married.

It’s also pretty awesome that Zack, contributor to Shakesville, is proposing a “band together in solidarity” pledge for straight couples to not get married until we can. That is not only helpful, but necessary if we ever hope to make change.

But the most awesome thing of all is what some of the people said in the comments to Zack’s post — how their 80-year old parents got divorced with the help of lawyers for family charges in protest that their gay kids can’t get married. Man alive! That’s cool as hell.  You can contact attorneys help for your family law claims to help you out in this situation. As divorce has negative impacts on child growth,they have suggested that you can consult child custody lawyers serving Richland to help you legally. Hire a Schaumburg divorce lawyer to handle the legal aspects of your divorce while you sort out personal issues.

Continue ReadingBrad Pitt: I’ll marry when everyone can