You might be a Redneck Jedi Warrior if:

You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y’all."

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to spit.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electroshock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.

You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks like a little sissy in that vest.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You ever fell in love with your sister.

You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader’s evil empire as "them damn Yankees."

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with red wood deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene.

In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow just "ain’t right."

Continue ReadingYou might be a Redneck Jedi Warrior if:

You Might Be A Redneck Goddess If…

Sounds special, doesn’t it? I think we are special, and hopefully you will too. Everyone has heard of rednecks by now, but traditional redneck humor either leaves out the ladies, or is incredibly harsh. Well, no more! Please read on – you may find yourself or someone you know!.

You Might Be A Redneck Goddess If…

Your grandma is your hero.

You could help your child win the science fair by building an entire vehicle without spending a dime.

You don’t believe in credit cards.

You know that dog chain is used for clothesline – LOG chain is for dogs.

People ask you if you’re having a yard sale – sometimes the answer is yes, if the price is right.

You have ever dated a guy because of his vehicle.

Guys have ever dated you because of YOUR vehicle.

You manage the family stock portfolio, and the livestock as well.

You would welcome the Y2K crisis to test your survival skills.

Your husband is looking for his clean overalls, and you’re wearing them.

Not only do you buy your own auto parts, you request them by part number.

You don’t let ANYONE in your family watch professional wrestling.

You may dye your hair, but you would never get a boob job.

You always dress up for Halloween.

You understand that real women don’t look like Barbie dolls, and your kids understand too.

You don’t fall for every fad that comes down the pike, but some of those Beanie Babies are pretty darn cute.

You’ve always known that less is more, except when it applies to horsepower.

You honestly don’t mind getting power tools as gifts, as long as they’re the ones you asked for.

You ever had to kill a snake, and then considered cooking it for dinner to see if it really does taste like chicken.

You have noticed that sometimes people who have cell phones look like they have no business having one.

You find it strange to see a raggedy-looking person at the laundromat, driving a brand-new Suburban.

You have ever had to hose off your children before allowing them in the house.

You don’t see anything unusual about driving your kids to town for trick-or-treating.

You think vegetarianism is just plain silly.

You prefer manual-locking hubs.

You will agree to drive an import ONLY if it’s a 5-speed.

Your kids love diving off a boat in the middle of the lake.

You can back a vehicle pulling a trailer.

Your kids routinely see deer and/or turkeys on the way to school – and can identify them.

Your mom and dad are usually glad to see you.

You own your dream car/truck – and it’s paid for.

You weren’t a cheerleader because you were too busy.

You can do your complete makeup and hair in less than 15 minutes.

You know what a well is because you use one.

You always say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Guys aren’t afraid to tell you dirty jokes – and you’re not afraid to repeat them.

You have won ribbons at the fair.

You get along perfectly well with other women, as long as they’re not bi***es.

You have a preferred make of vehicle, and can explain why.

You never grew out of that 8-year-old horse-crazy thing.

You understand the statement "LIVE AND LET LIVE".

Your husband thinks it’s cool that you like driving his truck.

You have won trophies.

You don’t always keep your house spotless, but you can do it when you have a good enough reason.

Your kids know what a whipping is, but aren’t terrified of you because of it.

You like to mess with telemarketers.

You know more about your favorite sport than your husband does.

You made up with your parents for being a rotten teenager.

You watch a soap opera or two, even though they are really stupid, but you don’t tape them.

You would really love to live in the city – NOT!!.

You aren’t afraid of bikers – some of your favorite relatives are Harley riders.

Your dogs can catch themselves something to eat when they’re hungry.

Your neighbor’s houses aren’t visible from your house.

You are perfectly comfortable with cussing, when the situation requires it.

You could still fit into your wedding dress, if it was still at the shop where you rented it.

You love NASCAR because we all have days when we wish we could pull a Dale Earnhardt move and get away with it.

You have ever had to bring your water home from somewhere else.

You had to spend the night in the truck because a driveshaft broke.

You lived in a barn while you were building your house.

You ever melted snow to make coffee.

You have cooked and eaten crawdads you caught with your grandma.

You know where a side of beef comes from, because you helped.

You have to drive through a creek to get to your house.

Your children have helped you pack your wheel bearings.

You have stopped to help a disabled vehicle.

You have ever heated your bathwater on the stove.

Continue ReadingYou Might Be A Redneck Goddess If…