Question: Just not that into you…

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Anon Question: Have you ever been dating someone who is obviously more into you than you are them? How did you handle it?

That that scenario has really never come up for me. I have to be really into someone to start dating them, actually. If I wasn’t very into someone, I turned them down. I wouldn’t want to waste their time if it wasn’t going to go somewhere. And I’ve always been more about the relationship than the sex, so “going somewhere” has always been a part of any romantic equation for me.

But the “they like me more” situation is really rare for me. The vast majority of the time, I was way more into them than they were into me. I’ve usually been the crushing, not the crushee.

Question from WilJ: Have you and Steph ever considered having a child?

We’ve talked about it a lot, because this is one of those big relationship questions that you have to talk about. We’ve arrived at the conclusion of “probably never.” Stephanie has never been particularly interested in having kids. I have very mixed feelings about it. When I was young, I thought I would for sure. But as I’ve gotten older, my feelings have changed a lot. For one thing, I’ve seen some close friends become parents, and it’s been particularly hard on them. In some cases they’ve given up some significant dreams to be a parent, and that’s tough to watch. And in some cases, raising the kids has been a significant struggle. That’s also hard to see. On the other hand… there is something very life-affirming about kids. I’ve had two grandparents die in the last year, and I’ve had some existential crises about that – what am I doing, where am I going, and will I have made a difference when I die? Worrying about that eats at you. But in the past year I’ve also met my two youngest nieces and my new nephew, and watching them laugh and play and learn reminds me that as things fall away in sorrow, there are new joys that spring up to take their place. Do I want to contribute to that? I’m not sure. I do however, want to encourage my siblings to have more kids. As many as possible. Because that’s the awesome thing about nieces and nephews — they are there to reaffirm your joie de vivre, but you can hand them back when they poop their pants.

Ask me a question yourself.

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Question: If you could master one skill what would it be?

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Anon Question: If you could master one skill what would it be?
Writing. I’d like to be a successful, published author. It’s the dream I’ve had since I was a small kid. Writing is also the hardest thing for me to do and the thing I’m most insecure about, which is why I constantly shoot myself in the foot and screw up.

Anon Question: If you and Stephanie could change places with any famous or infamous couple in the history of the world who would you choose?
Well… if I have to choose a famous couple, either Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward or Pierre and Marie Curie. History is sadly lacking in couples who didn’t cheat on one another or die young or in tragic circumstances. Newman and Woodward were both gorgeous and blissfully happy. The Curies were intellectual equals who brought out the best in each other and achieved more together in collaboration than they could have separately – both represent things I’d like to achieve in our relationship.

Ask me a question yourself.

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Question: birthday redos

Anon Question: If you had to live your 16th birthday or your 21st birthday over and over for a month, which would you choose?
I wish I remembered either one well, actually. I have a terrible memory and don’t recall what I was doing either time. That really is why I take photos and why I keep this blog; so I can look up what I did in the past because without a trigger I can’t recall.

I’d have to say I’d relive my 21st birthday, though, because I was certainly much happier than I was at 16. I was out of the closet, I had dated women, I had had sex. I think I was sorta dating a woman name Kim H. at the time; she was yanking my chain and probably fooling around, but I was deeply infatuated with her, and I got to be naked with her on a regular basis, so yeah, way happier. God was she cute.

I don’t think I really got drunk on my actual 21st birthday. After a great deal of thought, I remember now going out to the gay bar in Muncie, because I had been going out there with a fake ID for almost two years, and I remember presenting my real ID at the door and them laughing at it. I believe I got a free drink. It was summer, but I had stayed at Ball State to take summer classes and work – I was working full time in a factory making industrial gas valves. I think I went to get my license updated that day, and I think I had dinner with Kim and fooled around, then went out in the evening.

Lots happier than at 16 at home working full time during the summer and probably not doing much of anything with my friends.

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Questions & Answers

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Question from a friend: How risqué are we allowed to get with these questions? 😉

Oh, what the heck. As risqué as you want. Bring it, baby! I say that now, but watch me get bashful when you actually ask them.

Anon Question from Formspring: If you could spend three days (two nights) anywhere in the United States doing absolutely nothing but exploring (with Stephanie and without your cameras), where would you choose?

San Francisco. That city has been on the agenda for awhile, as well as Boston and Seattle. We’ve talked about hopping on a plane and going, but we haven’t solidified plans for this year. We’ve had some fun poking around Toronto and New York in the past, as well as some great road trips, so I know we’d have fun. I’d like to explore more cities we haven’t seen (I’ve been to Washington D.C. a lot, and Chicago and New York several times, and we’ve both made the road trip to Arizona/New Mexico several times. I haven’t seen enough of New England or the west coast.)

San Francisco because it’s pretty and touristy and gay-friendly and warmer than Indianapolis. And I’d like to see more of California. We’ve driven through LA and spent a bit of time there, but not much. Boston is on my agenda at least because of the history. I’d like to visit a New England city with a lot of past lives. Seattle because I think of it as young and urban and hip. And all of these places would be fun to visit with Stephanie.

It would be quite a feat for me to explore without my camera though. I’d feel as though I’d left my right arm at home. I think I’d spend the entire time thinking “wow, that would make a great shot.” Plus I love taking photos of Stephanie, and it’s always fun to capture her while she’s exploring stuff, because she can be really expressive when she’s interested in stuff. So photos of Stephanie + photos of site-seeing = cool photos.

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For a million dollars…

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from the Book of Questions, Via the J-Walk Blog,

Would you accept $1,000,000 to leave the country and never set foot in it again? If so, where would you go?

Nope — the “never set foot in it again” is the key part of that question. I’d rather see my family and friends regularly — some of them, like my grandparents, I wouldn’t be able to see at all if I left the country permanently, because they can’t really travel that far. And for a mere million? Come on. It would take a lot more than that.

Continue ReadingFor a million dollars…

Points to Ponder… Why Ask Why?

Note: this list is meant to be funny, and was put together from various email posts. There’s no accounting for taste. Your mileage may vary. Don’t eat yellow snow.

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

And whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they get back too?

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as "4’s"?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

How can there be self-help groups?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

How do you tell if you run out of invisible ink?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?

"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him….Is he still wrong?

If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren’t people from Holland called "Holes?"

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you’re ahead"?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide….is it considered a hostage situation?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?

If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn’t a Portuguese person be called Portugoose?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don’t they wear a pair of bras?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

Is it true that cannibals won’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?

What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

What happens when none of your bees wax?

What is a "free" gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

What is the speed of dark?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

What’s another word for synonym?

When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?

When dog food tastes new and improved, who tested it?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

When you’re sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

Where are Preparations A through G?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Which is the other side of the street?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes don’t have a row 13, but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why do psychics have to ask your name?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?

Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . become Pen Pals to these men ?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don’t they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"

Why don’t tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the symbol for anarchy always written the same way?

Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?

Would a wingless fly be called a walk?

Continue ReadingPoints to Ponder… Why Ask Why?