All my life I have been searching for that fabled promised land,
With my sisters and my brothers, we shall walk there hand-in-hand.
Through the trials and tribulations, and the devil’s cruel temptations
I know that we’ll all get there one day!
After years and years of wandering, oh, the kingdom we shall find
and the doors might not be open, but we’ll gather in the line.
And our hearts will swell with pride the day those gates swing open wide
and we take a walk down Main Street, USA!
Oh, that Magic Kingdom in the Sky!
We will all be there together by and by!
We will all drink from the fountain and go riding on Space Mountain
When we reach that Magic Kingdom in the Sky!
as Justin points out on his site, “Ex-gay” people admit they have what they call ongoing “same gender attraction” (called SGA in the song) but claim they’re not actually gay. (Never mind that the definition of gay is “being attracted to some one of your own sex.)
I.
I am the very model of an ex-gay individual
I’ve no more gay attractions (okay, maybe a residual)
I go to ex-gay conferences, where folks hold me accountable
They say with Jesus, SGA is never insurmountable
I think of God, not Gaynor, when I hear someone say Gloria
I always stay a block away from local gay emporia
I’ve read 8 books on how to please my wife while I’m caressing her
And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
[Chorus:
And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessinger,
And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessinger,
And probably a dozen more by Dr. Laura Schlessing-Schlessinger!]
Cheney accidentally shoots fellow hunter
‘Steph was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good’
Sunday, February 12, 2006; Posted: 9:01 p.m. EST (02:01 GMT)
WASHINGTON (AP) — Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend Wabbit hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.
Steph Mineart, a millionaire Website Designer from Indianapolis, was in stable condition in the intensive care unit of a Corpus Christi hospital Sunday, said Yvonne Wheeler, spokeswoman for the Christus Spohn Health System.
The accident occurred Saturday at a ranch in south Texas where the vice president and several companions were hunting Wabbit. It was not reported publicly by the vice president’s office for nearly 24 hours, and then only after it was reported locally by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times on its Web site Sunday.
Armstrong said she was watching from a car while Cheney, Mineart and another hunter got out of the vehicle to shoot at a covey of Wabbit.
Mineart shot a Wabbit and went to retrieve it in the tall grass, while Cheney and the third hunter walked to another spot and discovered a second covey.
Mineart “came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn’t signal them or indicate to them or announce herself,” Armstrong said.
“The vice president didn’t see her,” she continued. “The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a Wabbit and was following it and shot. And by God, Steph was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good.”
Mineart has been a private practice Website Designer in Indianapolis since 1950 and has long been active in Texas Republican politics. she’s been appointed to several state boards, including when then-Gov. George W. Bush named her to the Texas Funeral Service Commission.
And just like it would happen in real life, I gave them a really old picture of myself, too.
(Not Really) CNN — Lady Liberty, a 225-year-old Freedom Fighter, was in stable condition, a hospital spokeswoman said.
Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend Traitor hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.
Lady Liberty, a millionaire Freedom Fighter from America, was in stable condition in the intensive care unit of a Corpus Christi hospital Sunday, said Yvonne Wheeler, spokeswoman for the Christus Spohn Health System.
Q. Can the president spy on Americans without a warrant?
A. The president has to spy on Americans without a warrant! We’re at war, and the president’s gotta defend America, and he’s not gonna wait for a permission slip from a judge or a senator or America to do it!
Q. That’s just the kinda tough, no-nonsense thinking I like in a de facto dictator! Now some crazy people say the president broke some silly old laws like FISA and the National Security Act and the Fourth Amendment. Are these crazy people crazy?
A. They sure are! Maybe those laws worked back in 1978 back when Leonid Brezhnev was snortin coke with Ayatollah Khomeini and groovin to the hits of the Bee Gees, but in today’s dark and dangerous times they just aren’t enough.
Q. Things sure have changed since the innocent days of mutually assured destruction! But is it legal for the president to ignore the law?
A. Maybe not according to plain ol stupid ol regular law, but we’re at war! You don’t go to war with regular laws, which are made outta red tape and bureaucracy and Neville Chamberlain. You go to war with great big strapping War Laws made outta tanks and cold hard steel and the American Fightin Man and WAR, KABOOOOOOM!
Q. How does a War Bill become a War Law?
A. It all begins with the president, who submits a bill to the president. If a majority of both the president and the president approve the bill, then it passes on to the president, who may veto it or sign it into law. And even then the president can override himself with a two-thirds vote.
Q. See it’s the checks and balances that make all the difference in our democratic system.
A. It’s true.
Q. Can the president spy on me without a warrant?
A. The president would never, ever spy on you, unless you’re talking to a terrorist.
Q. That sounds reasonable!
A great movie that anticipates what Bush’s State of the Union Address will be, with a guy doing a dead-on impression of Bush. It’s hilarious.
Our children must be literized, don’t forget.
That’s right! You’re the tiny microscopic planktony thing about to get eaten by the octopus! You’re right next to the leprechaun with the magical pot of pixie gold who’s gonna pay down the national debt.
So if you’re feelin cold, sick and hungry this winter while Larry Ellison buys an extra boat, don’t feel sad! We’re all part of Nature’s Money Cycle, and someday some a that boat’s gonna trickle down to you! Maybe a piece of the bowsprit, after Larry throws it out to buy a better boat. I hear that’s delicious in a lemon marinade.
I clicked through an ad from my site to the Pro-Democrat Progressive Anti-Right Wing Products and had a fun time looking around, so I thought I’d give them an extra plug.
I loved their flag bedecked ribbon magnet that says “Just pretend it’s all okay” and the “F the President” sticker designed like the “W” sticker that everyone has on their cars. Unfortunately, my whole car is taken up already with stickers and magnets, and I already look like a fanatic.
Christmas Tree
Washington, DC – Congressman John D. Dingell (MI-15) (original link, no longer active – http://www.house.gov/dingell/documents/press_releases/109th_Congress/12-14-05_2.htm) recited the following poem on the floor of the US House of Representatives concerning House Resolution 579, which expressed the sense of the House of Representatives that the symbols and traditions of Christmas should be protected. “Preserving Christmas” has been a frequent topic for conservative talk show hosts, including Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly:
‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the House
No bills were passed ’bout which Fox News could grouse;
Tax cuts for the wealthy were passed with great cheer,
So vacations in St. Barts soon would be near;
Katrina kids were nestled all snug in motel beds,
While visions of school and home danced in their heads;
In Iraq our soldiers needed supplies and a plan,
Plus nuclear weapons were being built in Iran;
Gas prices shot up, consumer confidence fell;
Americans feared we were on a fast track to…well…
Wait— we need a distraction— something divisive and wily;
A fabrication straight from the mouth of O’Reilly
We can pretend that Christmas is under attack
Hold a vote to save it— then pat ourselves on the back;
Silent Night, First Noel, Away in the Manger
Wake up Congress, they’re in no danger!
This time of year we see Christmas every where we go,
From churches, to homes, to schools, and yes…even Costco;
What we have is an attempt to divide and destroy,
When this is the season to unite us with joy
At Christmas time we’re taught to unite,
We don’t need a made-up reason to fight
So on O’Reilly, on Hannity, on Coulter, and those right wing blogs;
You should just sit back, relax…have a few egg nogs!
‘Tis the holiday season: enjoy it a pinch
With all our real problems, do we honestly need another Grinch?
So to my friends and my colleagues I say with delight,
A merry Christmas to all,
and to Bill O’Reilly… Happy Holidays.
