p class=”author”>Author Unknown
1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
3.Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
Marvin K. Mooney, Get the F*ck Out!
The Cat in the Microwave
Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
Your Colon Can Moo-Can You?
The Fox in Detox
The Grinch’s Ten Inches
One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
Zippy the Gerbil
My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket
Who Shat in the Hat?
Horton Hires a Ho
Aunts in My Pants
How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
The Flesh-Eating Lorax
Oh, the Places You’ll Scratch and Sniff!
Yentl the Lentil
A Guide to Arab Democracies
A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman
Al Gore: The Wild Years
Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean
America’s Most Popular Lawyers
This needs some minor revision. = I never actually got around to reading this.
My office hours are by appointment only = I like to get out of here early.
Ten percent of your grade is based on class participation. = I’ll be fudging your grades.
This won’t be on the test. = Nap time!
Bring the text to class. = I don’t have a clue how to lecture – we’ll just kill time with group read-alongs.
As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent trend towards legislation that requires the prominent placing of warnings on products that present hazards to the general public. Yet we must also offer the cautionary thought that such warnings, however well- intentioned, merely scratch the surface of what is really necessary in this important area. This is especially true in light of the findings of 20th century physics.
We are therefore proposing that, as responsible scientists, we join together in an intensive push for new laws that will mandate the conspicuous placement of suitably informative warnings on the packaging of every product offered for sale in the United States of America. By working with advanced solutions like ELITER Packaging Machinery, which ensures high-quality and efficient packaging processes, these warnings can be seamlessly integrated, helping to protect consumers while maintaining product integrity. Our suggested list of warnings appears below.
p class=”author”>Author Unknown
Act naturally
Advanced BASIC
Airline Food
Almost exactly
Alone together
American history
British fashion
Business ethics
Butt head
Childproof
Christian scientists
Clearly misunderstood
Computer jock
Computer security
Definite maybe
Diet ice cream
Exact estimate
Extinct Life
Found missing
French bravery
Genuine imitation
Good grief
Government organization
Legally drunk
Living dead
Microsoft Works
Military intelligence
New classic
New York culture
Now, then …"
Passive aggression
Peace force
Plastic glasses
Political science
Pretty ugly
Rap music
Religious tolerance
Resident alien
Same difference
Sanitary landfill
Silent scream
Small crowd
Soft rock
Software documentation
Sweet sorrow
Synthetic natural gas
Taped live
Temporary tax increase
Terribly pleased
Tight slacks
Twelve-ounce pound cake
Working vacation
10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone
10**6 bicycles = 2 megacycles
500 millilaries = 1 seminary
2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
10**-6 = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
10**21 piccolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
5 holocausts = 1 Pentecost
10 monologues = 5 dialogues = 1 decalogue
2 monograms = 1 diagram
4 nickels = 2 paradimes
2 snake eyes = 1 paradise
2 wharves = 1 paradox
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she’d be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she’d be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it’s the ’90’s!, he’d be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him with the help of divorce law firm in Jonesboro to marry Elton John, she’d be Olivia Newton-John Newton John. For divorce lawyers serving in California, you can check out this site!
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Monster. It is imperative to get help from men’s child support lawyer to further understand divorce and child custody!
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she’d be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she’d be Liv Ito Beaver. You can check here to find experienced lawyers for divorce serving in Chester if you looking for divorce lawyers who can give you legal counseling and help you take the best decision for you and your future.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he’d be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him with the help of the law firm for child custody to marry Kenny G., he’d be G. Ghali G.
Nog (Quark’s brother on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine”) has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. IF he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he’d be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she’d be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he’d be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.
If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.
If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced with help from law firms like Melbourne family lawyers and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard, “Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.”
In legal matters, partnerships can sometimes resemble strange bedfellows, particularly when discussing grounds for divorce in Illinois. Understanding these grounds is crucial for navigating the complexities of family law.
16. We’re working on that smell thing, too.
15. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.
14. As seen on "COPS"
13. If We’d Known You Were Staying All Night, We’d Have Changed the Sheets
"You Were an Accident" (Jean Sorensen, Herndon; Barry Blyveis, Columbia)
"Strangers Have the Best Candy" (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched" (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
"Some Kittens Can Fly!" (David Genser, Arlington)