Children’s Books You’ll Never See

by , under Books, Funny Lists, Jokes

These were from a Washington Post contest:

"You Were an Accident" (Jean Sorensen, Herndon; Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

"Strangers Have the Best Candy" (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

"The Little Sissy Who Snitched" (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

"Some Kittens Can Fly!" (David Genser, Arlington)

"The Protocols of the Grandpas of Zion" (David Genser, Arlington)

"How to Dress Sexy for Grownups" (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face" (Thomas Drucker, Carlisle, Pa.)

"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?" (Barry Blyveis, Columbia)

"Where’s Godot?" (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

"Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her" (David Genser, Arlington)

"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!" (Meg Sullivan, Potomac)

"All Dogs Go to Hell" (Joseph Romm, Washington)

"The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking" (Joseph Romm, Washington)

"When Mommy and Daddy Don’t Know the Answer They Say God Did It" (Barry
Blyveis, Columbia)

"Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia" (John Kammer, Herndon)

"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?" (Kenneth Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)

"Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?" (Martin Keutel, Alexandria)

"Bi-Curious George" (Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry" (Stephen Dudzik, Silver Spring)

"Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver" (Russ Beland, Springfield)

"You Are Different and That’s Bad" (Christopher Springfield)

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