Christianity

Alabama needs better sex ed classes. Seriously.

The website goodasyou.com pointed out an anti-gay “sex-ed” (no actual education included) pamphlet distributed by an Alabama Middle School that has a quote that literally made me snort soda out of my nose a few minutes ago.

These same sex “unions” cannot provide an adequate means of achieving a genuine physical relationship with another human being because this type of “union” is contrary to the laws of nature. There can be no real union because same sex bodies do not even fit together.

Somebody seems to have a lack of imagination, there. Apparently, they’ve never read my post on intelligent design, or they’d know better than that.

Continue ReadingAlabama needs better sex ed classes. Seriously.

Pets during the Rapture.

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Religion

An entire discussion forum for what will happen to pets when “The Rapture” happens. Yeah.
People, there’s nothing in the Bible about the Rapture. Check out the two biblical passages that are the basis for this belief:

“Then there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one will be left.” (Matthew 24:40-41)
“[Christ] shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.” (Philippians 3:21)

Generally, an elaborate set of predictions about the end times is constructed from these sets of verses, together with various interpretations of the Book of Revelation and the predictions of Christ’s return in Matthew 24:30-36. In general, believers in the rapture consider the present to be the end times, and offer interpretations of the various symbolisms in the book of Revelation in terms of contemporary world events.

Continue ReadingPets during the Rapture.

Saved!

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Movies

I caught the 2003 movie Saved! this weekend. There was a lot of controversy when it came out because it a comedy that depicts a Christian school in a less-than-flattering way. After watching it, though, it’s clear that the comedic critique in the movie is of hypocrisy, not of Christianity, and of people who pay lip-service to religious beliefs without investing themselves in the spirit of them. And the movie is just hilarious.
It’s the story of Mary, who’s on track to have a have a perfect senior year at her Christian school, what with her membership in a perky Christian pop group, her hot-popular clique of friends, and her handsome, devout Christian figure-skater boyfriend Dean. Until Dean comes out to her, of course. Then she hears what she thinks is a vision from Jesus telling her to save Dean, which she interprets as a command to change his homosexuality by sleeping with him. Silly girl. Of course she does, and of course, he doesn’t. But she gets pregnant as Dean is hauled off to a brainwashing camp for a cure. And suddenly Mary loses not just her boyfriend, but her friends, her pop-group and (temporarily) her faith as well, as she struggles through her senior year with the help of the school’s other outcasts: the lone Jewish girl and her boyfriend the paraplegic.

Continue ReadingSaved!

I wanted to be a Darwinist, but I wasn’t selected

If you’re following the news at all, you’ve read that Kansas is having a second Scopes Monkey trial wherein they’re planning on teaching creationism in the classroom as a form of science. In 1999, Kansas decided to drop the teaching of evolution in the classroom (this decision has since been reversed). But today the Kansas Board of Education are having a trial to change state standards to allow the introduction of creationism under the guise of “intelligent design” the bonehead idea that the pattern behind natural laws is devised by a higher power.

So far the people arguing in favor of “intelligent design” have shown their intellectual level of thought: they admit they haven’t even read the state’s current standards for education, so they don’t even understand what they’re planning to amend. That’s some Republican smarts for ya, right there.

If plain common sense isn’t enough for you, read “15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense” from Scientific American magazine to learn how to answer their inane drivel.

I have some more thoughts on intelligent design, but if you’re at all squeamish, you might not want to read on. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Here’s the best argument IN FAVOR of intelligent design, but I have a feeling that the creationists won’t be keen on arguing this point: God designed the male body for gay male anal intercourse. You heard me. God intended men to take it up the ass. Why else would the prostate gland, a gland that sits INSIDE the body, be a sexually-sensitive organ that when stimulated, causes an intense orgasm? Why on earth would God give this organ the ability to do that, unless he intended men to put something up there to stimulate it? In addition to that, men have much larger anuses than women do, and they’re angled differently, to accomodate something going in.

Something I’ve never understood about heterosexual men is how they are terrified of anal intercourse when it comes to two men doing it, but they’re all keen on getting their girlfriends to participate. Why is that? What is the appeal of it with a woman? Especially when it’s much more dangerous for women to do than it is for men, because of the way women are built. The same straight guys who will say crap like “it’s an exit, not an entrance” (untrue for men!) are the ones trying to persuade their girlfriend to turn over (where it really IS an exit!).

Another “intelligent design” conundrum for you: why is the clitoris outside the vagina? Why, if God intended for us all to use the heterosexual missionary position, didn’t God put the clitoris inside the vagina to encourage women to participate in penis-in-vagina sex? Why put the clitoris outside where it’s easy for, say, me, to reach? Yes, because God intended women to be gay.

That really is some intelligent design.

Continue ReadingI wanted to be a Darwinist, but I wasn’t selected

Republicans want to take away your birth control pills

According to USA Today: Generally,it is always best to prevent pregnant women from any kind of hazards especially when it comes to fire. Hence, pregnant women can also avail fire door services here as it not against the moral values.In addition to preventing you from having an abortion, Christians/Republicans are also interested in preventing you from getting birth control pills or other contraception because it’s against their “moral values.”

For a year, Julee Lacey stopped in a CVS pharmacy near her home in a Fort Worth suburb to get refills of her birth-control pills. Then one day last March, the pharmacist refused to fill Lacey’s prescription because she did not believe in birth control.

“I was shocked,” says Lacey, 33, who was not able to get her prescription until the next day and missed taking one of her pills. “Their job is not to regulate what people take or do. It’s just to fill the prescription that was ordered by my physician.”

Some pharmacists, however, disagree and refuse on moral grounds to fill prescriptions for contraceptives. And states from Rhode Island to Washington have proposed laws that would protect such decisions.

Mississippi enacted a sweeping statute that went into effect in July that allows health care providers, including pharmacists, to not participate in procedures that go against their conscience. South Dakota and Arkansas already had laws that protect a pharmacist’s right to refuse to dispense medicines. Ten other states considered similar bills this year.

Continue ReadingRepublicans want to take away your birth control pills

Dear Mr. Robertson

  • Post author:
  • Post category:Religion

Dear Mr. Robertson, by Mighty Ponygirl:

Dear Mr. Robertson:
We here at the Holy Book of the Month club are very excited that you have been enjoying our flagship Holy Book “The Old Testament” so thoroughly. Many readers have become quite enamoured of it, as a dark, brooding tale of sin and vengeance from an unforgiving God.
We are just writing to let you know about our next exciting installment of the series: “The New Testament.” This shorter book introduces a new concept that many Christians have embraced: Forgiveness. In this book, a single holy man is sacrificed so that the sins of the world could be forgiven. In an amazing twist, we discover that his divine nature allows him to rise from the dead and ascend into heaven, though he first tells his followers that they have the ability to *forgive* those who have sinned. Gone are the days of being stoned to death for eating shellfish, and there is a renewed hope for generations to come. With this one act of humble humiliation, mankind is offered a new hope of seeking God’s good graces. It puts to rest the question “is there such a thing as a sin so terrible that God is unable to forgive it?”
This book has been applauded as “The feel-good book of the Eon” and “Not since ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ has there been such a thoughtful self-help book.”
Your copy of the best-selling “New Testament” is enclosed. You are under no obligation to keep it–if you decide to cancel you need only mark it “Return to Maker” and we will take your name off the List.
Cheers and happy reading,
The Holy Book of the Month Club.

Continue ReadingDear Mr. Robertson