Dear Mr. Robertson

Dear Mr. Robertson, by Mighty Ponygirl:

Dear Mr. Robertson:
We here at the Holy Book of the Month club are very excited that you have been enjoying our flagship Holy Book “The Old Testament” so thoroughly. Many readers have become quite enamoured of it, as a dark, brooding tale of sin and vengeance from an unforgiving God.
We are just writing to let you know about our next exciting installment of the series: “The New Testament.” This shorter book introduces a new concept that many Christians have embraced: Forgiveness. In this book, a single holy man is sacrificed so that the sins of the world could be forgiven. In an amazing twist, we discover that his divine nature allows him to rise from the dead and ascend into heaven, though he first tells his followers that they have the ability to *forgive* those who have sinned. Gone are the days of being stoned to death for eating shellfish, and there is a renewed hope for generations to come. With this one act of humble humiliation, mankind is offered a new hope of seeking God’s good graces. It puts to rest the question “is there such a thing as a sin so terrible that God is unable to forgive it?”
This book has been applauded as “The feel-good book of the Eon” and “Not since ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ has there been such a thoughtful self-help book.”
Your copy of the best-selling “New Testament” is enclosed. You are under no obligation to keep it–if you decide to cancel you need only mark it “Return to Maker” and we will take your name off the List.
Cheers and happy reading,
The Holy Book of the Month Club.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.