Diane Arbus

I picked up Diane Arbus: A Biography at the library without really having an idea who she was. It happened to be on a kiosk of other photography books that the Nora branch was featuring, and I thought – “hey a woman photographer. I should check her out.” I’m not sure why I have that gap in my education, but I was until recently pretty unaware of iconic photographers other than knowing the names of a few, like Walker Evans, Dorothea Lange, and Annie Liebovitz.

There are relatively few of her photos reproduced in the biography, probably due to it being unauthorized (but still regarded as the generally definitive account of her life). So I probably approached her as a topic in the opposite fashion that most people do – I suspect most people are familiar with her work first and then are drawn to discover more about the woman driven to create it. I’m rather glad I stumbled into the backwards approach, mainly because if I’d seen her work first I don’t know that I would have been driven to seek out more about her. Off-putting would be a mild description of her photos. I can definitely see why they are iconic, and her bio gives me clues into why she was compelled to create them, and I understand that need. I can also see why there are so many young photographers who fall into the trap of imitating her; it’s easy to imitate her style. It’s also easy to attempt (without succeeding) to imitate her subject matter — but not easy to capture what she was actually trying to capture – people who are genuine and lacking in artifice.

About her subjects, she said: “Most people go through life dreading they’ll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They’ve already passed their test in life. They’re aristocrats.”
I’m not sure I agree complete with her that people on the fringes are they only people in which you find that quality of authenticity and lack of guile. It might be somewhat easier to find the authentic self among people who have no use for masks, but it can be found amongst the everyday as well. And there is also an authenticity to be found amongst people who are joyous and celebratory as well.

But it seems from her biography that she was also a danger junkie, putting herself in positions quite different from her own background and upbringing. I also wonder if she was seeking something in her subjects that wasn’t actually there, or maybe was more present in her than them – like she was looking in them for an image of herself.

Either way, I found her as a subject far more interesting (to me personally) than her photographs, although I do agree that her work was extraordinary and very important. I think I just don’t see the world the same way she did.

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Childhood Memories

Passed along from my friend Matt. Typically I add these to the big fat list I’ve compiled of quizzes about me, but right now I don’t have time to merge the two. I should also link a bunch of the answers below to pages on the site, but no time for that either.

1. What was the first car your family had?
A 1957 Chevy. It was blue, and I barely remember it. Then we had a succession of volkswagens which my dad drove, and my mom hauled us around in a Pontiac Bonneville. Then my dad drove a VW Rabbit, and my mom had a Ford Country Squire station wagon, brown with wood panel sides.

My own first car was a 1977 Audi Fox station wagon I bought in 1988 from my girlfriend Peg’s dad for $300.00. It was a stick and was a pretty good car for that amount of money. Nothing worked on it except the engine, the brakes, the steering wheel and the headlights. But it had tons of room that let me haul all my crap around, and I think I actually was stupid enough to drive the thing to Dayton, Ohio (to go to 1470 west) a time or two as well.

2. What was the name of your first pet and why?
We had a poodle named Puddles that I got when I was five or six.

3. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A knight in shining armor. Yeah. I read King Arthur stories when I was really, really little and I didn’t understand that all that was in the middle ages. And that all the knights were boys.

4. What was the name of your elementary school?
I went to North East Elementary in Ankeny, Iowa for the first few years, and after we moved I went to East Elementary. I think.

5. Who was your first best friend?
Sherri Castle and Kay Kaufman, who lived on either side of us.

6. Are you still friends today, and if not, what happened?
They moved when I was still a kid.

7. What was your favorite board game?
Clue, as you can tell if you look at my board game collection.

8. Did you play house or other make believe games?
Yep, we played house. I had a tiny kitchen with a stove, sink and refrigerator, kitchen table, and even a kitchen cupboard my grandfather made for me. We also played cowboys and Indians and tons of other stuff.

My brother Paul used to dictate what the make believe games were all the time, and he always chose what he thought were the best characters. He had to be Bert, I had to be Ernie. He had to be Kermit, I had to be Grover. He had to be the Lone Ranger, I had to be Tonto. Looking back, I was always the cooler character, and he was the dork, so I guess he picked that pretty accurately.

9. Were you a Dungeons and Dragons geek?
Nope. That was after my time.

10. Did you sleep with stuffed animals as a kid?
Yep. I got a teddy bear for my first birthday, which I still have, and then later I got bud the bear, and mom made this corduroy dog that I loved, too.

11. Do you still sleep with stuffed animals?
Heh. I have an entire monkey collection, people. I don’t sleep with them, though. I occasionally will grab blue flat bear to lean against if my heart surgery pillow isn’t around, but that’s to support my sternum at night.

12. Who was the first person you looked up to when you were younger?
I’d say my mom and dad pretty much equally.

13. Who was your favorite relative?
My aunt Chris, who was young and really loved playing with us. She’s one of those people who is just genuinely good-natured and happy all the time and a lot of fun to be around. And she was hot.

14. Were you short or tall in elementary school?
I was pretty tall, and inconveniently, I was about six inches taller than my older brother, who I think still resents me to this day for it.

15. Were you teased in school?
I had a terrible time in junior high, especially the two years we lived in Ohio.

16. What was the name of your favorite teacher?
My kindergarten teacher Mrs. Forsythe was great, and I loved my fifth-grade teacher Miss Verban. My six-grade teacher Mrs. Wilson was cool, too.

17. What was the name of your least favorite teacher?
My second grade teacher, who’s name I can’t remember, was my least favorite. She yelled at me for reading ahead of the rest of the class in the reading workbooks, and constantly gave me a hard time about daydreaming. I was SO BORED in her class because I was so far ahead of everyone, and she wouldn’t let me move on. I remember she also yelled at me once when I was raising my hand in class, and I was goofing off snapping my fingers, because she thought I was snapping my fingers at her. She also threatened to shove my pen down my throat if I didn’t stop chewing on the cap. I chew on pens to this day. So there.

18. What was your best subject in school?
English, social studies, history.

19. What was your worst subject in school?
Probably math, because I hated it, although I did well.

20. Did you do well in Physical Education?
No. I think it was taught really poorly. I wish they hadn’t emphasized competition so much, because it didn’t allow people like me, who didn’t participate in sports, to find a physical activity that was appropriate. I was always so overwhelmed and dominated by the kids who had more experience competing that I never got in touch with my physical self.

21. Were you clumsy when you were younger?
Nope. I was pretty well coordinated.

22. Who was your favorite band as a kid?
Oh god. Do i got there? I loved Olivia Newton John. And the Bee Gees. And Barbara Mandrell.

23. What was your favorite movie as a kid?
The Wizard of Oz, because I was in love with Glinda. I also loved the Sound of Music, because I had a crush on Julie Andrews. For a long time, I thought I wanted to be a nun, because I didn’t want to marry a man, and that seemed like a good way out. (I know, I wasn’t paying attention to the plot of the movie, people.) Turns out I really wanted to be a lesbian.

24. Did your parents read to you?
All the time. You can see the results. My mom reading to us was one of the best gifts she could have given us, and I am so grateful for that. I love books.

25. Did you have a favorite book?
Way too many to name.

26. What was your favorite restaurant as a kid?
Pizza Hut, or Godfather’s Pizza.

27. What TV or movie star did you have a crush on?
This will take a while. Julie Andrews, Lynda Carter, Olivia Newton John, Carrie Fisher, the bionic woman, the chick who played Isis. Okay, I have to stop, because this will take all day.

28. Do you now wonder what you were thinking?
Hell, no, they were all hot.

29. Who was your first crush in school?
Jamie Reyhons, who lived down the street, and later her friend Shawn Hoffman, who lived a block over. I also had the inconvenient problem of having crushes on some of the same girls my older brother did. He didn’t get them either.

30. As a child, what kind of car did you want when you grew up?
I didn’t think much about cars as a kid.

31. Did your parents spank you?
Let’s not go there.

32. Did your parents fight a lot when you were a kid?
Some.

33. Did your parents get divorced or stay married?
They divorced when I was in college.

34. If they got divorced, how old were you when it happened?
20, 21?

35. Did you ever run away from home?
I wanted to. Growing up as one of six kids can get pretty unbearable at times.

36. How old were you when/if you first got glasses?
Second or third grade.

37. Did you need braces or a retainer?
Yep, in late high school and college.

38. If you’re male, how old were you when you had your first wet dream?
N/A.

39. Both sexes when did you start shaving?
Who knows.

40. Girls when did you start wearing a bra?
Who knows.

41. What was your first kiss like?
It was icky, and with a boy. I made out with a boy named Rob Fox (?) in my friend Linda Griggy’s basement, in eighth grade, when I lived in Ohio. I was probably 13. Linda would have me stay over, and her mom worked the night shift (my mom did not know this) so we did whatever. I can honestly say it was the most boring make-out session ever. I was totally uninterested.

Linda was the one who later helped me figure out that I was gay (no, not THAT way) by explaining what it felt like to make out with her boyfriend. It dawned on me that what she was describing was the way I felt about girls.

42. What did you do on your first date?
Made out in my friend Linda Griggy’s basement. Yeah, fun.

43. How old were you when you first drank?
13 years old. Again, with Linda. Her boyfriend was 18 (!) and could get liquor, so he bought whiskey, and we’d walk around at night drinking and hanging out.

44. Where was your first house?
810 Belmont Ave, Ankeny Iowa. I visited in 2001 on a vacation and took pictures.

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Hawthorn Mineart

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Hawthorn Mineart
Hawthorn Mineart

If you need to contact me, that information is here.
I’m a UI designer at a media/publishing company in Indianapolis, Indiana where I’ve worked since 1994. We publish textbooks and computers science and business books, and I mainly work on instructor tools for education.

I’m married to a wonderful woman named Stephanie, and we own a 130-year-old Victorian home in The Old Northside, an historic neighborhood in downtown Indianapolis.

Stephanie at CN Tower
Stephanie

Since 1994, I’ve been writing, designing, and creating this website / blog /journal / art project. I enjoy taking pictures of “big things” and advertising art and have been on the local news because of it. I’ve always wanted to write novels, and from the many blog posts on the subject, you can probably see I’ve been trying to complete one for at least 15 years. Eventually I will.

Childhood and Growing Up

I was born in West Des Moines, Iowa, a couple of hours after Robert Kennedy died. That was great, because for the first couple decades of my life, the news had nice retrospectives of the event with lovely titles like “The nation mourns as it recalls June 6, 1968.” Never mind that it was my birthday.

I grew up in suburban Iowa, and my grandparents lived on a farm that we got to visit quite a bit when I was a kid. I have four brothers and a sister. I’m the second child and did a lot of care-taking of my younger siblings. I didn’t enjoy it at the time, but at least I learned how to change a diaper and babysit, which is handy now that my friends are having babies.

Me stealing cookies from grandma's jar, 1970
Me sneaking cookies from Grandma’s cookie jar.

We lived in Ohio for a few years when I was in middle school and then in Noblesville, Indiana, where I went to high school. I went to Ball State University because they gave me more scholarship money than anyone else, and I studied journalism/magazine design, philosophy and English. I graduated in 1991. I’ve lived in Indianapolis since 1992, and with the exception of cold winters and absence of good public transit, Indy is a great city. I love it, despite its conservative politics.

Soldier's & Sailor's Monument

I moved to downtown Indianapolis in 1993, and have been there ever since. Stephanie and I bought our house together in Old Northside historic neighborhood in 2008.

More?

If you must know every little thing about me – I believe I’ve answered every question I’ve ever been asked about myself here.

“Who am I? My answer: I am the sum total of everything that went before me, of all that I have been seen done, of everything done-to-me. I am everyone everything whose being-in-the-world affected was affected by mine. I am everything that happens after I’ve gone that would not have happened if I had not come…. to understand me you must swallow a world.” Salman Rushdie, From Midnight’s Children

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