Cooler than Dick Tracy

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  • Post category:Art
Dick Tracy Watch Ad
Dick Tracy Watch Ad

When I was a kid I thought it was the coolest thing that Dick Tracy could call people on his watch and see them on the tiny TV screen, and I thought it would be awesome if, some day far in future, I could have a watch like that that really worked.

Dick Tracy Watch
Dick Tracy Watch

I was reminded of that today by XKCD.com:

Flying Cars

Yeah, I can talk to people on video from a device I carry in my pocket – that is awesome. But it’s even cooler that Dick Tracy couldn’t play Angry Birds.

2022-03-12 Update: Eleven years later, now I can talk to my watch. I am Dick Tracy.
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Macbook Delivery Delay

It’s not going to arrive until Tuesday. God, that is frustrating. I deliberately ordered it very early so it would arrive before the long weekend, and I paid for 2-day shipping, which was the fastest possible rate. After getting off the phone with Apple, they’ve refunded my shipping charges entirely, and they were very apologetic, but it’s still not at all cool. They don’t make it clear on their messaging that two days is two “business days.” I hate that fracking concept. In this day and age, shipping carriers should be delivering 7 days a week.

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My New Macbook

Speaking of GeekBling… I ordered a new laptop today for home. I got a 13″ white Macbook:

Apple Macbook

2.0GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
2GB 667 DDR2 SDRAM-2x1GB
200GB Serial ATA @ 4200 rpm
Superdrive 6x
No Modem
No Optional Software
Keyboard/Mac OS
Country Kit

I’m embarrassed to admit that my current personal device is a graphite iMac, circa April 5, 2000, as seen in this old blog post I created when originally bought the thing. It was quite pretty, at the time.

My Graphite iMac

Worth about $20 today on eBay. It’s been supplemented for the last several years by my high-powered Powerbook from work, but that’s not really very cool at all, and I try hard to minimize my home-use. Especially since my work laptop is now having some hard drive issues. Yikes! We were going to wait until my house sold to do this, but it’s high time to cut the cord.

So now begins the anxious wait for the shipping and delivery. Order tracking is great and all, but I really wish Apple had a “Now were taking it off the shelf. Now we’re configuring it for you. Now we’re moving it across the warehouse” real-time notifying system. I wanna know exactly where my new toy is. Sadly the only information I have is “Not yet shipped.” Sigh.

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The Apple iPhone

It’s pretty – here’s a snapshot from the Keynote Address going on right now —

Apple iPhone
Apple iPhone
Apple iPhone
Apple iPhone
Apple iPhone
Apple iPhone

You can read about the address through streaming updates at MacRumorsLive.com

I know I was bitching about “smart phones” being too complicated earlier this week, but this is anything but. I can seem this being my next phone/ipod definitely.

$499 for 4 gig, and Cingular is the exclusive carrier. Hmmmm. That’s pricey, but if it’s an iPod and phone. Also browser – and google maps, which means it eliminates GPS devices, too.

Available in June in the US.

2022-03-15 Update:
Oh my goodness, I blogged about the first Apple iPhone. Look how cute I was with my excitement about an iPod+phone. So adorable! 9 iPhones later… Past me, I paid $1,100 bucks for my iPhone sMax. It will blow your mind.
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Apple vs. Microsoft

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  • Post category:Jokes

Author Unknown

Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Microsoft employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft employee.

"Watch and you’ll see," answers the Apple engineer.

They all board the train. The Microsoft employees take their respective seats, but all three Apple engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Microsoft employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the Microsoft employees decide to copy the Apple engineers (as they always do) on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money as they are). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft employee.

"Watch and you’ll see," answers an Apple engineer.

When they board the train the three Microsoft employees cram into a restroom and the three Apple engineers cram into another one nearby.

The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Apple engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft employees are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

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What If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

Author Unknown

General Motors doesn’t have a "help line" for people who don’t know how to drive, because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers – but imagine if they did?


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What’s an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It’s a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won’t go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There’s a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from ‘E’ to ‘F’. Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "I see an ‘E’ but no ‘F’."

HELPLINE: "You see the ‘E’ and just to the right is the ‘F’.

CUSTOMER: "No, just to the right of the first ‘E’ is a ‘V’.

HELPLINE: "A ‘V’?!?"

CUSTOMER: "Yeah, there’s a ‘C’, an ‘H’, the first ‘E’, then a ‘V’, followed by ‘R’, ‘O’, ‘L’ …"

HELPLINE: "No, no, no sir! That’s the front of the car. When you sit behind the steering wheel, that’s the panel I’m talking about."

CUSTOMER: "That steering wheel thingy– Is that the round thing that honks the horn?"

HELPLINE: "Yes, among other things."

CUSTOMER: "The needle’s pointing to ‘E’. What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"

HELPLINE: "What’s wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that’s what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed — and now it won’t even start up!"

HELPLINE: "I’m sorry, sir, but it’s your responsibility if you misuse the product."

CUSTOMER: "Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of yours. It said to make the car go to put the transmission in ‘D’ and press the accelerator pedal. That’s exactly what I did –now the damn thing’s crashed."

HELPLINE: "Did you read the entire operator’s manual before operating the car sir?"

CUSTOMER: "What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the manual said and it didn’t work!"

HELPLINE: "Didn’t you attempt to slow down so you wouldn’t crash?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh! How do you do THAT?"

HELPLINE: "You said you read the entire manual, sir. It’s on page 14. The pedal next to the accelerator."

CUSTOMER: "Well, I don’t have all day to sit around and read this manual you know."

HELPLINE: "Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that goes fast and won’t crash anymore!"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission,cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to DRIVE?"

CUSTOMER: "I’m not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"

Continue ReadingWhat If People Bought Cars Like They Buy Computers?

My New iMac

On March 15th, I bought a new iMac Special Edition, and an Artec scanner. On March 31, I bought a CD Burner. So I have been very busy. Unfortunately, not working on my webpage. Mostly, I’ve been getting everything set up, scanning in artwork, and making CDs. I’ve started scanning in chapters of my favorite book, Curious Myths of the Middle Ages.

This is so cool.

My Graphite iMac
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