If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon — you just might be a Scrooge
If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away — you just might be a Scrooge
If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas — you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite version of "A Christmas Carol" stars Bob Packwood or Bill Clinton — you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson — you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite version of "The Nutcracker" stars Andrew Golata — you just might be a Scrooge
If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night — you just might be a Scrooge
If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts — you just might be a Scrooge
If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon – you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park – you just might be a Scrooge
If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log – you just might be a Scrooge
If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie — you just might be a Scrooge
If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat – you just might be a Scrooge
If you use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets — you just might be a scrooge
If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson — you just might be a Scrooge
If your favorite version of "I’m dreaming of a white Christmas" is sung by the KKK choir – you just might be a RED NECKED Scrooge
If your favorite pastime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors’ string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn characters with eggnog – you just might be a Scrooge
If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin – you just might be a Scrooge