What advice would you give your twelve-year-old self?

Here’s a question courtesy of two sites I read every day, slash dot and also Wil Wheaton: What advice would you give your twelve-year-old self?
1. Take more computer science classes.
2. You already know this, Steph, but it’s perfectly okay to have a crush on that girl Jamie down the street. What you don’t know is that she might also have a crush on you.
3. You’re not at all fat — don’t listen to what your brothers are saying.
4. Take an I.Q. test — you’ll be astonished at how smart you really are.
5. Those tennis shoes and jeans your classmates are teasing you about wearing will come into style years from now as “geek chic.”
6. If anyone threatens to hit you, hit them first. Really hard.
7. Follow your instincts — if they tell you not to do something, DON’T DO IT.
8. Stock Market: Microsoft.

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Bomb Iraq

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Thanks to Tom Tomorrow:
If we cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets hurt your mamma, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudis and the banks take back your Audi
And the TV shows are bawdy, bomb Iraq.
Sending all my love to Germany and France for standing up against our moron president.
And for those of you who may not be aware, Sunday was an international day of protest against the war with Iraq, a protest that the Bush Administration tried to prevent in New York City by filing a brief urging judges to uphold denial of the permit. Let me repeat that, for those of you who might be constitutionally challenged… a protest that the Bush Administration tried to prevent by filing a brief urging judges to uphold denial of the permit.
DOES ANYONE REMEMBER, ANYMORE THAT WE LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? Does anyone actually remember what that means?

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Information Awareness Office (IAO)

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Information Awareness Office (IAO): A project of the Defense Department’s Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). The IAO is responsible for a controversial project at the Pentagon called Total Information Awareness, run by former Reagan aide and convicted criminal John Poindexter. Total Information Awareness is a master database of corporate databases, collecting information on anyone and anything, proportedly to “catch bad guys.” Who the bad guys they are after are is a subject of concern. This kind of a database would allow the government wide-scale access to information about law-abiding citizens, which is why it’s so controversial, and under attack from both liberal and conservative elements, including the ACLU.

But, don’t worry, because you can buy the IAO Thong!

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Top Ten Jerry Falwell Pet Peeves About TV

Tinky Winky Waves Hi!
Tinky Winky Waves Hi!

10. Angels Shouldn’t Go Around "Touching" Anyone

9. Mister Rogers’ sissy loafers.

8. "Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane" are lesbian, gay, gay and lesbian.

7. Bastards at MTV didn’t even look at my "Road Rules" audition tape.

6. If you don’t pay the bill on time, Playboy channel gets all fuzzy.

5. Fox won’t even consider "World’s Wildest Baptism Accidents"

4. History Channel only presents negative aspects of Spanish Inquisition

3. I’m busting my ass on public access while some joker in a glass church is getting Super Bowl numbers

2. Why don’t Scully and Mulder "do it" already and get it over with

1. Dick Van Dyke

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