Truncated

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I finally got wise, and created a new group in my feedreader software called “Truncated” just for people who truncate their posts in their syndication feeds. These are people I love, who are great writers, but the frustration of needing to have a browser window open to read their work is too great, and I have to put them in their own little holding cell to read them at some future point when I’m not working on another project at the same time.
Another thing that frustrates me about some of these writers is that they don’t seem to write for that truncation — It’s not clear, from the first few lines that manage to come through, what the subject of the post is about. Sometimes I’m intrigued by a hint that’s wildly off base when I finally land on the site, and other times, I’ll blow by a post that seems irrelevant only to hear about it somewhere else and discover I missed something cool.
They should be tailoring their writing for the medium in which it’s being presented, which is something they hammered into our skulls in my college journalism classes. If you’re going to truncate in your syndication feed, be sure to convey the subject in the first few lines.

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Netflix Throttling

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Friday Fishwrap has an interesting commentary on Netflix policy of “throttling” DVD shipments to people who are heavy users in favor of first-time or light users of their service. Interesting; I agree that it sucks, but I can kind of see the light users point of view, too. If you wanted to get a DVD occassionally and can only get crap because some people turn around so many, you’d also be pretty peeved.

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Texas A&M Hoopsters Total Eclipse of the Heart

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Hat tip to Advance Indiana for this one… Texas A&M basketball players get together and lip sync to Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart. Shirtless, with killer abs, and complete choreography.

Considering the sheer volume of crappy imitation lip syncing videos out there on google video and youtube, (all of which came about after the classic Numa Numa) it’s surprising to find some funny ones.

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Books to Read Before You Die

The British librarian’s organization — “Museum, Libraries and Archives Council” — has put together a List of Books to Read Before You Die.

I have a pretty good start on the list. Of the ones I haven’t read yet, I have four on my bookshelves at home, so I’ll probably get to them someday.

  1. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  2. The Bible
  3. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by JRR Tolkien
  4. 1984 by George Orwell
  5. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
  6. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
  7. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
  8. All Quite on the Western Front by E M Remarque
  9. His Dark Materials Trilogy by Phillip Pullman
  10. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
  11. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
  12. The Lord of the Flies by William Golding
  13. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
  14. Tess of the D’urbevilles by Thomas Hardy
  15. Winnie the Pooh by AA Milne
  16. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
  17. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham
  18. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
  19. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
  20. The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
  21. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
  22. The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
  23. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
  24. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
  25. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
  26. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
  27. Middlemarch by George Eliot
  28. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
  29. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
  30. A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzenhitsyn
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List of Signature Phrases

Wikipedia has a great list of signature phrases — the unique lines associated with real or fictional characters, and they cover a lot of territory. Read it over; it will bring back some memories.

# “Aciao good night!” (Aciao bonsoir!) – P.P.D. the puppet in the French satiric show Les Guignols de l’Info, at the end of most of his broadcasts

# “Actual retail price, $ (dollar amount)…” – Bob Barker, on The Price is Right (He follows it with “…a difference of $ (dollar amount)” in the Card Game and concluding Showcase round, unless a contestant has overbid, in which case he says, “You’re over.”)

# “Aflac!” – Aflac Duck

# “After these messages, we’ll be right back.” – sung at the beginning of every commercial break on the old ABC Saturday morning cartoons

# “Ah-one, and ah-two…” – Lawrence Welk, directing his musical performers on The Lawrence Welk Show

# “Ahh, shaddap!” – Foghorn Leghorn on his cartoons. Also said by Sylvester and Yosemite Sam.

# “Ain’t I a stinker?” – Bugs Bunny

# “Ain’t the beer cold!” – the late Baltimore Orioles broadcaster

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Motorola SLVR Pisses me off

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I no sooner got a cool Razr phone, than Motorola came out with the phone I really wanted — the Slvr, which is very similar, but a bar phone rather than a flip style. Jerks. Every time I see a commercial, I want to accidentally lose my phone so I can get a new one. I hate technology. No, I love it. No, I really hate it. Grrr Argh.

Motorola Slvr
Motorola Slvr
2022-03-15 Update:
And just a few years later I was going to get that new iPhone and all would be well with the world. I wonder if this is the start of dropping vowels like Flickr.
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Stakeout on Millennium Drive

I hate throwing in the towel on books. I feel guilty if I can’t get through one, and I will struggle to the end of even the most difficult stuff. And I wanted to like Stakeout on Millennium Drive; I really did. It is, after all, a book set in Indianapolis, by a native writer, Ian Woollen. We just don’t have enough of those, so I was hoping to write a glowing review of a “must read” book. He even sent the book to IndyScribe so we could review it. It’s a murder mystery, and I love those.

The premise of the story is that a police officer shooting has occurred on “Millennium Drive” (a fictional street the approximate location of which I wasn’t able to determine) witnessed by a reporter named Kurt Blackwood on a ride-along with said policeman, Louis Garcia. Blackwood is a bit of a crackpot and writes for a fictional alternative local paper — the “Whipping Post” — where he writes a tinfoil-hat column called “Naptown Nuggets” (that name alone made me want to reject the book). Officer Garcia gets shot and killed by a woman as he tries to knock on her door to break up a domestic dispute between her and her husband. Despite the testimony of the reporter, the inquiry into the shooting determines the husband fired the gun, and that the incident was an accident, so the case is closed.

But Blackwood, who hears the voice of the slain policemen in his head, believes that the real facts of the shooting were covered up because there was some connection between the quarreling couple responsible for the shooting and the Mayor of Indianapolis, a fictional character that seems to be modeled on former mayor Steve Goldsmith (references to privitization and corruption abound). So Blackwood begins a stakeout of the street to gather more information, and at the same time begins writing reports on his progress in the form of long, rambling, disjointed letters to the Assistant Deputy Mayor of Indy (Randall Fleck), whom Blackwood conveniently has dug up some dirt on. The novel is composed almost entirely of these letters, with some short snippets of narration about Fleck’s reaction (or non-reaction) to these epistles.

You can see my problem, can’t you? If you were given a bunch of nutty ramblings about something you didn’t have a reason to care about, would you sit and read them? Even if they were conveniently bound in book form?

Woollen inserts a lot of interesting Indianapolis history into Blackwood’s ramblings through the character’s backstory; his family were long-time residents and had connections to early local architecture and culture movements. But I was bothered by the character expressing scathing feelings about the city. Everyone’s entitled to his own opinion, of course, but I wondered why an author would bother to set a book in a city that they appear to strongly dislike.

And as the letters to Fleck progress, Blackwood seems to lose track of his goal of ferretting out the truth as he interacts with the “colorful” characters of Millennium Drive, who hang out at his van and talk to him, and later invite him into their homes, instead of calling the police as anyone with an ounce of sense would do. He even becomes friends with the woman who shot officer Garcia and contemplates attempting to sleep with her. The point at which Blackwood begins a discourse on his sexual proclivities was one of my stopping points. I tried to power through it, but I got as far as the street’s pro-wrestler native american attempting a spirit-cleansing to exorcise the spirit of Officer Garcia from Blackwood’s head before I had to stop.

There was every reason for me to enjoy this book, but I couldn’t wait to put it down whenever I had it in my hands, and I dreaded picking up again. I even began cheating on it with other books on my to-read list. If you want to tackle the book, let me know how it wraps up. I wouldn’t mind knowing how it ends, but I just can’t devote the time to get there myself.

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Photoshop Hacks: Choose Your Own Adventure Novels

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My brother Todd had a ton of the Choose Your Own Adventure novels (the early version of video games). Check out Something Awful’s photoshop contest for “Rejected CYOA Books.”
My favorites are “Don’t Bother, You Die In Most of the Endings Anyway” and “Everyone Wants to Touch My Giant Snake and Jewels.”
Also: “Shrödinger’s Cat. Choose from 2 possible endings.”

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AFA boycotting Desperate Housewives

The American Family Association is urging a boycott of Desperate Housewives. Of course my response to TV censorship is always “unplug the TV” — but this time the nutjobs are addressing my retort:

Some people have said to pro-family viewers who dislike indecent network TV programming simply to turn it off, Wildmon notes. In response, he asks, “Why should we have to do that? Why do our children need to be exposed to such trash? Why do the networks keep putting out trash?

Because some of us are paying good money for that trash, mister, and we want it on our damn TVs. You can take my favorite TV shows when you pry them from my cold, dead hands. Which will never happen, because if it comes down to me or you biting it, it’s gonna be you.

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