Archives: December 1997

Does Santa Exist? A Scientific Inquiry

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal, SPY magazine (January, 1997) — I am pleased to present a scientific inquiry into the existence of Santa Claus.

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Twas the Dieter’s Christmas

author unknown T’was the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down

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Literary Terms I Like

From Benet’s Reader’s Encyclopedia Accismus Irony involving insincere modesty Aesthetic distance A term that describes the ability to objectify experience in art and present it as independent from its maker. Argus-eyed Jealously watchful Beatrice Dante’s symbol of Spiritual inspiration Bell, book and candle Used in the ceremony of excommunication. Berserker Wild, warlike being, possesed of

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