More or less; I started keeping track diligently in the summer; so there are a few titles missing.
Read on »Archives: 1997
The Prophet "on Marriage"
Khalil Gibran
Read on »The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
Christopher Marlowe – 1599
Read on »IF
Rudyard Kipling
Read on »In Excelsis
Amy Lowell
Read on »Does Santa Exist? A Scientific Inquiry
As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal, SPY magazine (January, 1997) — I am pleased to present a scientific inquiry into the existence of Santa Claus.
Read on »Twas the Dieter’s Christmas
author unknown T’was the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down
Read on »Goodbye Earl
Dixie Chicks, From the CD: Fly
Read on »Tangled Up in Blue
Bob Dylan from Bob Dylan’s Greatest Hits
Read on »Jesus Was Way Cool
King Missile
Read on »Because The Night
Bruce Springsteen/Patti Smith
Read on »There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
Pete Seeger, If I Had a Hammer: Songs of Hope & Struggle
Read on »Plastic Jesus
by Ernie Marrs
Read on »H.R. Pufnstuf Theme Songs Lyrics
Sid & Marty Krofft’s Pufnstuff
Read on »American Pie
Don Maclean
Read on »Brimful Of Asha
Cornershop
Read on »Literary Terms I Like
From Benet’s Reader’s Encyclopedia Accismus Irony involving insincere modesty Aesthetic distance A term that describes the ability to objectify experience in art and present it as independent from its maker. Argus-eyed Jealously watchful Beatrice Dante’s symbol of Spiritual inspiration Bell, book and candle Used in the ceremony of excommunication. Berserker Wild, warlike being, possesed of
Read on »The Clothesline Dream
I had a bizarre dream in which I had strung a clothes line from the gables of the roof of the house I live in now, right outside the kitchen window. And of course, I had just done laundry and hung all of my very favorite clothes, when a really violent storm blew up, and
Read on »Reoccurring Contact Lens Dreams
In high school I got my first pair of contact lenses, that you can also order here. That was pretty unusual at the time; people didn’t wear them as much as they do now, and they were incredibly expensive. They also didn’t have disposable lenses; you had to clean them and care for them and
Read on »Reoccurring Dream: Mazes
Since I was young, I’ve had a reoccurring theme show up in my dreams: mazes. It’s usually a familiar building; in high school it was the library I worked in; in college it was the dorm, since then it’s been various apartment buildings and the places I worked. The building is familiar to me, but
Read on »Quicksand Dream
The first of two recent dreams about death… In the dream, I went downstairs to the basement, which looking back now, I think was the basement on South East Fourth Street from my childhood. Growing in the center of the floor was a plant; a weed, I thought, like a tiny tree. I went over
Read on »Jane Austen
My favorite quotes from her correspondence.
Read on »Dodgeball God Dream
It’s hard to remember exactly how this dream began, but I remember for some reason being on the top of a sign pole, out in the countryside. I was there with Hercules, him beiname of dodgeball with energy balls that could kill us. We were trapped, so we continued to do this for awhile, until
Read on »The Military Dream
In this dream, I was in a high-rise apartment or office building on an upper floor. It was dark, and I was there with a bunch of other people, none of whom I recognized. We were part of some military group, and we had some assignment or mission to carry out. We were putting on
Read on »HTML Mark-Up Dream
If you remember the movie Fantasia, or even better, the movie they showed in high school, Donald Duck in MathMagic Land, where Donald was being chased by anthropomorphic numbers, you have some idea what this dream was like. Basically, it was my job to place appropriate (?!) HTML mark-up tags on everything; i.e. the physical
Read on »Embarrassing Elevator Stories
Ah, the elevator. Such a delightful way to interact with your fellow man, especially in a workplace environment. Such a great way to act strangely in other people’s personal space. Sixth Floor I work on the fifth floor of a six floor office building here in Indianapolis. I was going home at the end of
Read on »Fun Stuff to Do On Usenet
by Alan Meiss, ameiss@indiana.edu Post a message asking how to post messages. Lead a tireless crusade for the creation of newsgroups with silly names like alt.my.butt.is.hairy. Put 4 addresses, 5 lines of "Geek Code", 6 ASCII-art bicycles, a PGP key, and your home phone in your signature. Reinvigorate a discussion by switching attributions in followups.
Read on »How to Handle Stress
Make a list of things to do that you’ve already done. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you. When someone says "have a nice day" tell them you have other plans. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail. Dance
Read on »Fun Things to Ask Your Human Resources Representative
If you work for a decent-sized company, you’ve been forced to sit through a presentation by the Human Resources department reviewing your benefits. I guess they’re less liable if they can prove they’ve wasted an hour of your time reading from a company brochure. Here’s a list of questions to ask your HR representative during the presentation. Caution: for amusement only. Not liable for discontinued employment.
Read on »Fun Things To Do in a Final Exam
Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
Read on »What’s Your Sign? (And how many of you does it take to change a light bulb?)
Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done — they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done!
Read on »Bart’s Chalkboard
The opening credits of “The Simpsons” shows Bart Simpson writing on the school chalk board the same sentence over and over again, (the ole "write it 100 times" punishment). Each episode however the sentence is different. Someone (not me, thank you) went to the trouble to tape the shows, watch and copy down many of the sentences that Bart writes on the chalkboard.
Read on »What Your Car Says About You
Acura Integra — I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Read on »The Beer Bill of Rights
Congress shall make no law disrespecting an establishment of beer, or prohibiting the free consumption thereof; or abridging the freedom of bar service, or of brewing; or the right of the people peacably to assemble, and to petition the bartender for a round of beers.
Read on »Ode To The Malty Brew
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. –Dave Barry Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no
Read on »New Government Warnings on Alcohol
As most Americans are familiar with, the federal government mandates health warings on Alcoholic products to warn people about the potential negative effects. This is also an increasing occurence in other countries as well. It has come to my attention that a few additional warning may be appropriate.
Read on »Things Adults Learn from Kids
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite A 4 years-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
Read on »The Boss
Quote from a recent meeting: We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done.
Read on »Differences Between You and Your Boss
When you take a long time on a project, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time on a project, she/he’s thorough.
Read on »25 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work
It’s an incentive to show up.
Read on »Top 10 Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
They told me at the blood bank this might happen!
Read on »Vonnegut? Schmich? Who Can tell In Cyberspace?
Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune
Read on »Teddy’s Teacher
by Elizabeth Silance Ballard
Read on »That Summer
Pat Alger, Sandy Mahl, Garth Brooks
CD: The Chase
Darwin Awards 1997
The Darwin Awards, for those not familiar, are for those individuals who contribute to the survival of the fittest by eliminating themselves from the gene pool before they have a chance to breed.
Read on »Honest – That’s The Way It Happened…
Author Unknown A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron" The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.
Read on »Gone Fishin’
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They … for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver.
Read on »Where Ya Goin’?’
There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire.
Read on »Life After Death
Author Unknown Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their dying. As luck would have it, a few weeks later the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word,
Read on »Careful When Playing Golf
Author Unknown Two lesbians were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. One of them finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but
Read on »Mom’s Home Cooking
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner.
Read on »Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected drama processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
Read on »5 Reasons Tinky Winky Can’t Be Gay
The Purse doesn’t match the shoes. Purple AND Red, I mean really, clash-o-rama.
Read on »The Dream Where Prince Died
In this dream, I found out that Prince had just died, and I was terribly upset, because I felt that we would be lost without his music. We (Me and who else? I don’t know) decided to go to his funeral. While there, I ran into someone who was explaining how he died; this gets
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