Blog Archives

Shopping-Related Madness?

So Just How Dangerous Did Black Friday Get Around The Country? – Jezebel.com If you picked any date – say, April 13, 2011 – and counted up the number of shopping-related nonsenses that people get up to in stores, I’m

Posted in Odd Holidays Tagged with: , ,

Oh, yeah. Happy President’s Day.

I almost forgot to post this very important video. Maybe that’s not your cup of tea, though. (Tea, get it?) Maybe try this instead. Or, it could be that you like drag queens. That’s your choice. You’ll probably love Dina

Posted in Funny Videos, Odd Holidays Tagged with: , , , ,

Made in America

One of the ways we can all help our economy is to look for products made in America, especially in the upcoming Christmas season. Here are some directories to get you started finding products made here in the United States

Posted in Current Events Tagged with: , , ,

Xmas Busy Busy Busy

Last night I did some major decorating of the front porch – we have garlands around all the porch posts with big red bows on them, and giant red bells hanging. Stephanie gave me candle lights for the windows for

Posted in Journal Tagged with: , , ,

Dear Santa…

Oh, look, there’s my Amazon Wishlist. Now how did that get there? I must have left it sitting out when I was working on my ThinkGeek Wishlist. Sure. Of course, I’ve been very good this year. What? I have!

Posted in Journal Tagged with:

All Wrapped Up…

And just ready to have ribbons and bows put on before they go under the tree. But these are just the presents for Stephanie. I still have to wrap the presents for other people. But we’ll work on that together

Posted in Journal Tagged with: , , ,

we’ve been going non-stop

And I haven’t had a free moment to blog. Or perhaps I have, but I spent it trying to unwind instead. We’ve been to parties galore, but I haven’t got the pictures off my camera yet. On Saturday morning we

Posted in Journal Tagged with: , ,

Great. My Birthday’s going to be so fun this year

Heck, look at all the interesting stuff planned for June 6th. Great.

Posted in Odd Holidays Tagged with: , ,

My 2005 Christmas Loot

Everyone’s blogging about how wonderful it was to spend time with their friends and family. I could do that, but I talk about how great they are all the time. Instead, here’s a list of the cool stuff they got

Posted in Journal Tagged with: , ,

How Santa Knows IF you’ve Been Good

(Supposedly written for and sung at a U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Legal Counsel, Christmas party during the Carter Administration.) –Eugene Volokh, UCLA Law

Posted in Holidays, Poems Tagged with: , , , ,

A Christmas Tradition is Born

Author Unknown One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip … but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as

Posted in Holidays Tagged with: , , , ,

ACLU Announces Lawsuit against Santa Claus

by David Bibb CHICAGO – The American CivilLiberties Union announced today that it was bringing a lawsuit against Santa Claus for violations of the civil rights of children. An ACLU spokesman, Mr. E. Scrooge stated that, "Mr. Claus has been

Posted in Holidays Tagged with: , , ,

Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

Author Unknown You’ll need the following: 1 C water 1 C sugar 4 large eggs 2 C dried fruit 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 1 C brown sugar lemon juice nuts 1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Posted in Holidays Tagged with: , , ,

Thanksgiving

I drove to my grandmother’s house in Brighton, Iowa on Wednesday last week. Brighton is in south eastern Iowa, an hour north and west of Burlington. My younger brother Gary went with me, and he was very cool to ride

Posted in Big Things, Journal Tagged with: , , ,

Christmas Sampler

Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.

Posted in Holidays Tagged with: , , , , ,

How Santa Wishes He Could Answer Letters

How ’bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I’m giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!

Posted in Funny Lists, Holidays Tagged with: , , , , , ,

Dear Santa from Billy Gates

How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business.

Posted in Holidays Tagged with: , , , , ,

English Xmas Kitties

Stacy Mineart Today was yet another day in that inevitable annual melee we call christmas preparation. The rarity of Sunday opening hours in England necesitates that on such occasions every able-bodied individual must pile onto the high street to take

Posted in Anecdotes, Holidays, Journal Tagged with: , , , , , ,

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas: Internet Version

Author Unknown ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and throughout the net, not a modem was chirping; (It wasn’t mail-hour yet). The peripherals down and backed up with care, In hopes that St. Echo soon would be there. The grad students

Posted in Holidays, Poems Tagged with: , , , , , ,

Microsoft Acquires Christmas

MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via sattelite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh.

Posted in Holidays Tagged with: , , , , ,

The Net Before Christmas

by Jim Trudeau & Jay Trudeau (1991) ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nets Not a mousie was stirring, not even the pets. The floppies were stacked by the modem with care In hopes that St. Nicholas

Posted in Holidays, Poems Tagged with: , , , , , ,

Things Not to Say When Hanging the Lights

Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? One Psychiatrist claims the other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. He is rarely wrong on these things. We rush to print with an emergency prompt list of Things Not To Say When Hanging Lights on the Christmas Tree.

Posted in Funny Lists, Holidays Tagged with: , , , , , ,

Company Christmas Party Memo

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

Posted in Funny Lists, Holidays, Work Jokes Tagged with: , , , , ,

Signs You Won’t Be Receiving a Christmas Bonus This Year

Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw

Posted in Funny Lists, Holidays Tagged with: , , , , , ,

‘Twas The Night Before Techmas

‘Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.

Posted in Holidays, Poems Tagged with: , , , , ,