You Might Be A Scrooge If…

Christmas Scrooge

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If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon — you just might be a Scrooge

If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away — you just might be a Scrooge

If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas — you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "A Christmas Carol" stars Bob Packwood or Bill Clinton — you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson — you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "The Nutcracker" stars Andrew Golata — you just might be a Scrooge

If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night — you just might be a Scrooge

If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts — you just might be a Scrooge

If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon – you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park – you just might be a Scrooge

If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log – you just might be a Scrooge

If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie — you just might be a Scrooge

If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat – you just might be a Scrooge

If you use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets — you just might be a scrooge

If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson — you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "I’m dreaming of a white Christmas" is sung by the KKK choir – you just might be a RED NECKED Scrooge

If your favorite pastime is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors’ string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn characters with eggnog – you just might be a Scrooge

If your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin – you just might be a Scrooge

Posted in Funny Lists, Holidays, You Know You're A... Tagged with: , , , , , ,

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