Humorous English Signs From Around The World


Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner’s:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.


Paris Hotel Elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.


A sign posted in Germany’s Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.


Athens, Greece Hotel:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.


In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.


In a hospital car park in Kitakyushu, Japan:
Anyone found parking without a permit will be given an injection

Sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo, when MacArthur was considering a run for President:
"We pray for MacArthur’s erection."

Japanese Hotel guest directory 1991:
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.


Moscow Hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Moscow Hotel:
If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it.

From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.


Swiss Menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Swiss Mountain Inn:
Special today – no ice cream.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.


Belgrade (Yugoslavia) Elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving then going alphabetically by national order.

Yugoslavian Hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

Other Countries

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.

Bucharest (Romania) Hotel:
The list is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Budapest (Hungary) Zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

Next to a toilet in Bali was an ashtray with:
Don’t eat everythings on it

Czech Tourist Agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.

Copenhagen (Denmark) Airline:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In an Acapulco (Mexico) Hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.
Here speeching American.

Posted in Funny Lists, True Stories Tagged with: , , , , ,
One comment on “Humorous English Signs From Around The World
  1. jskane says:

    We enjoyed these helpful hints,

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