Terrorists in Carmel, Indiana? Bullshit!

At a recent rally in Venice, Florida in support of President Bush, Katherine “Fixin’ the Votes” Harris told the crowd that Bush is winning the war on terror. As an example, she cited that the mayor of Carmel, Indiana had told her they had recently arrested a Middle Eastern man with hundreds of pounds of explosives in his home, who was planning to “blow up the area’s entire power grid.”
Of course, when the Mayor was asked about it, he said it was two years ago, and there were not explosives involved. The Police chief, however, said there was never even an arrest.
So Katherine Harris is a lying bitch, basically. But we already knew that.
Um, this is FUCKING INDIANA for Christ’s sake. No one wants to blow any shit up here. Wait, let me correct that. No middle eastern people want to blow any shit up here. We have quite a few right-wing looney Bush supporters who might try to blow up an abortion clinic, gay bar or my house, but no foreign terrorists to speak of. Al Qaeda couldn’t even find us on the damned map, let alone come all the way here just to take out a corn field or two. Like that would be effective.

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FBI urges police to watch for people carrying almanacs

Farmer's Almanac 2004
Farmer’s Almanac 2004

WASHINGTON – The FBI is warning police nationwide to be alert for people carrying farmers almanacs, cautioning that the popular reference books covering everything from abbreviations to weather trends could be used for terrorist planning.

In a bulletin sent Christmas Eve to about 18,000 police organizations, the FBI said terrorists may use almanacs “to assist with target selection and pre-operational planning.”

It urged officers to watch during searches, traffic stops and other investigations for anyone carrying almanacs, especially if the books are annotated in suspicious ways.

“The practice of researching potential targets is consistent with known methods of al-Qaeda and other terrorist organizations that seek to maximize the likelihood of operational success through careful planning,” the FBI wrote.

The Associated Press obtained a copy of the bulletin this week and verified its authenticity.

Now if if the guy carrying an almanac is driving a John Deere and wearing a seed corn hat, that’s probably not a terrorist. That’s probably my Grandpa.

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Items on Osama’s Christmas List

11. My First Chemist’s Weapon of Mass Destruction.
10. My Pretty Pony Glue Factory
9. Fisher Price Particle Accelerator
8. Mountain Mike’s Cave Digger Kit
7. sandbox
6. Ali Aibo, electronic pet camel
5. Easy Bake Falafel Oven
4. Sesame Street’s Torture Me Bert
3. Wham-o Exploding Frisbee
2. Bedazzler Beard Decorator
1. Kabul Barbie Car Bomb

Nevermind that he probably doesn’t actually celebrate Christmas, you know?

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war in afghanistan

I’m not against war against the al-Qaida or against Afghanistan. I only hope that we’re waging war in a way we can win, and not ending up in another Vietnam. I wonder whether ground troops are the right answer.
2010 UPDATE: Isn’t this cute that I thought I had any idea about how to conduct a war? I can’t believe I actually wrote that in public and everything.

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Bert is Evil!!!

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN: Apparently, an islamic protestor downloaded photos of Osama Bin Laden to create a pro-bin Laden poster for a street protest. One of the photos they happened to grab off the Internet, was from the Bert is Evil website, which had a faked photo of Sesame Street’s Bert with Osama bin Laden. So Bert end up on anti-American Protest posters, which were then photographed heavily and distributed to the press.

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What bin Laden was really attacking

This Salon article I found expresses well what I’ve been trying to figure out how to put into words over the last week. I don’t believe the terrorist attacks are something we brought on ourselves because of our foreign policy over the last three decades.

I think they’re an attack on modernity. They’re an attack on our contemporary way of life, and on our secular, consumer behavior. Furthermore, (this is going beyond what the article says) I don’t believe that Osama bin Laden is himself a devout or fanatical Muslim, or that he really wants to attack us because we’re decadent and irreligious. That may be true of his followers, but not of him. I think, for him personally, it’s about power. It’s about gaining control, and fanatical religion is just a tool that he’s using successfully, ala Machiavelli or Sun Tzu. If he were really as devout as he claims to be, he’d have flown the plane himself. And because of these things, we have no choice but to kill him.

I’ve been saying for years that the only legitimate reason to have nuclear weapons would be to defend against a direct attack on the US, and that I the only reason to have a military would be to protect against invasion or attack on our country, and if that every happened, I’d buy a gun and be ready to defend the country myself. I haven’t changed my mind. Frankly, I think we should drop a nuclear bomb on Afghanistan. We have every right to do so; they killed Americans on American soil. There’s no better reason than that to drop the bomb. In fact, it’s the only legitimate reason to do so, and if we don’t do it for this situation, why bother having them at all?

All this bullshit about not killing “innocent civilians”. Um, THEY killed OURS. If we can’t do so in turn, what’s the point? What’s the point of the “war on terrorism” at all? Why not just open the damned borders and let them in?

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