politics

Dingell’s HOLIDAY Jingle for O’Reilly and House GOP

Christmas Tree
Christmas Tree

Washington, DC – Congressman John D. Dingell (MI-15) (original link, no longer active – http://www.house.gov/dingell/documents/press_releases/109th_Congress/12-14-05_2.htm) recited the following poem on the floor of the US House of Representatives concerning House Resolution 579, which expressed the sense of the House of Representatives that the symbols and traditions of Christmas should be protected. “Preserving Christmas” has been a frequent topic for conservative talk show hosts, including Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly:

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the House
No bills were passed ’bout which Fox News could grouse;
Tax cuts for the wealthy were passed with great cheer,
So vacations in St. Barts soon would be near;
Katrina kids were nestled all snug in motel beds,
While visions of school and home danced in their heads;
In Iraq our soldiers needed supplies and a plan,
Plus nuclear weapons were being built in Iran;
Gas prices shot up, consumer confidence fell;
Americans feared we were on a fast track to…well…
Wait— we need a distraction— something divisive and wily;
A fabrication straight from the mouth of O’Reilly
We can pretend that Christmas is under attack
Hold a vote to save it— then pat ourselves on the back;
Silent Night, First Noel, Away in the Manger
Wake up Congress, they’re in no danger!
This time of year we see Christmas every where we go,
From churches, to homes, to schools, and yes…even Costco;
What we have is an attempt to divide and destroy,
When this is the season to unite us with joy
At Christmas time we’re taught to unite,
We don’t need a made-up reason to fight
So on O’Reilly, on Hannity, on Coulter, and those right wing blogs;
You should just sit back, relax…have a few egg nogs!
‘Tis the holiday season: enjoy it a pinch
With all our real problems, do we honestly need another Grinch?
So to my friends and my colleagues I say with delight,
A merry Christmas to all,
and to Bill O’Reilly… Happy Holidays.

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Communism is an economic structure, not a political one

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[link deprecated: http://navywxman.journalspace.com/?cmd=displaycomments&dcid=44&entryid=44] Navywxman is a leftist. [link deprecated: http://odysseus.journalspace.com/?cmd=displaycomments&dcid=211&entryid=211] Odysseus is a right-wing dude. They’ve been having an argument on Navywxman’s space about Communism and fascist states. Navywxman claims that there has never been a true communist state, that they were all run by right-wing governments. Odysseus is disputing that Russia wasn’t a communist country.

Both of them are a wrong, but Navywxman is a quite a bit more wrong than Odysseus.

Communism is an economic structure, not a political one. It’s an unworkable economic structure, but it’s not a form of government.

Therefore you couldn’t have a communist state, because such a thing can’t exist. You can have a communist economy in a totalitarian state, or a communist economy in a democratic state, or a communist economy in a monarchy. Except that communism doesn’t work, so none of those is actually possible. But navywxman can have fun trying, as long as it doesn’t involve me.

The opposite of communism isn’t democracy. It’s capitalism. it goes like this:

Economic: communism vs. capitalism
Political: democracy vs. authoritarianism/totalitarianism/dictatorship

The Russian states were indeed communist economies. But they were also right-wing totalitarian governments. So all the communist tyrannies failed for two reasons: Communism is dumb, and tyrannies are wrong.

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Catholic Church moves to ban gay priests

The Pope is considering banning gay men from becoming priests and removing priests who are gay from service. Interesting on so many levels, really. My thoughts:

  1. I wonder when they’re going to remove all the lesbian nuns.
  2. The pedophile scandals will continue, because the priests molesting kids aren’t gay, and the gay priests aren’t molesting kids.
  3. With the gay priests gone, they may as well fold up the church and go home, because no one else is joining the priesthood except the pedophiles.
  4. I feel terrible for the retired priest from my mom’s parish, Father James Bates, who is gay, openly celibate, and an active part of the gay community. He is a great guy who served devotedly his whole life, kept his vows, but still acknowledged who he is. I sat and talked to him one night at a gay bar downtown about the church and its treatment of gay people. What the church is doing is both shortsighted and disrespectful of wonderful people like Father Jim.

Sounds like the church has it all worked out. Good luck with that one, guys. I’m so glad I left.

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The Flying Spaghetti Monster and “Pastafarianism”

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Flying Spaghetti Monster
I put a new emblem on my car last night. It’s the image of the “Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Wikipedia explains it best:

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is a parody religion created to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to allow intelligent design to be taught in science classes alongside evolution.

The “religion” has since become an Internet phenomenon garnering many followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (sometimes referring to themselves as “Pastafarians”, a pun on Rastafarians) who claim to have been touched by “His Noodly Appendage” and preach the word of their “noodly master” as the one true religion. Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is primarily the invention of Bobby Henderson, a graduate of Oregon State University with a degree in physics.

In June 2005, Bobby Henderson submitted an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in response to their decision on giving intelligent design equal time with evolution by natural selection in biology classes. He demanded that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism also be given equal time in classrooms, along with the other, more traditional religious creation stories.

I’m not sure right now whether I actually am interested in becoming a Pastafarian. I started out Catholic, of course, until the church decided it hated me. I got a degree in philosophy in college for which I had to study world religions, and I really appreciated Taoism. And for the past couple years, Hanuman the Hindu monkey God has been my very favorite imaginary friend.

On the other hand, the designated outfit for worshipers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster IS full pirate regalia, so that’s a major plus in his column.

So I don’t know if I’m ready to convert again. Maybe Hanuman and the FSM can be best pals. I’ll see what Hanuman thinks.

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Homophobia in the News

Gay teenager forced by parents to go into a “sexual re-orientation” camp to “cure” him of his homosexuality. Nevermind that all licensed, legitimate psychological and psychiatric professionals say it isn’t possible to change sexual orientation because it isn’t a disease.
Read Salon’s four part expose on these “ex-gay” camps.
The New York Pizza Depot in Ann Arbor, Michigan is undergoing a boycott by a catholic group for displaying an rainbow flag sticker — a symbol of tolerance of diversity — in the window of their store. “I find the rainbow flag offensive because it is a symbol of the homosexual movement that, in my opinion, indicates a validation of the homosexual lifestyle, as opposed to a sign that indicates ‘openness’ to customers who are of the homosexual orientation” — said one of the boycotters.
In Washington, D.C., Rev. Willie Wilson, pastor of Union Temple Baptist Church, has been demonizing gay and lesbian people in his church sermons. “Sisters making more money than brothers and it’s creating problems in families… that’s one of the reasons many of our women are becoming lesbians” Wilson said.

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The Pledge of Allegiance

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A young Star Trek fan was suspended from school for reciting his own version of the Pledge of Allegiance, in which he pledged to the United Federation of Planets. His mom has posted the story:

“So, anyway. What did he do?” I picked at the hem of my sweatshirt, looked just to the right of her face. I couldn’t meet her eyes. I felt nervous. I felt under-dressed. I wondered where 8 was. So she told me what he did. And as she told me, I started to laugh. I didn’t laugh a little, either, but I belly-laughed and grabbed my stomach. My son stood with his class this morning, put small right hand over heart, faced the American flag, and recited his own personal pledge of allegiance:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Federation of Planets, and to the galaxy for which it stands, one universe, under everybody, with liberty and justice for all species.

“Mrs. Jaworski. This isn’t humorous. The Pledge is an extremely important and patriotic moment each morning in the classroom. I am ashamed of your son’s behavior, and I hope you are, too.”

Now if it were my kid, I’d be marching them to school the next day and refusing to allow the school to suspend them, because what the hell does the pledge have to do with education? You teach my kid, and let me worry about his patriotism.

When I was in first grade, we had a kid in my class who refused to say the pledge, and the school dragged his parents into talk to them. They refused to make him, and threatened to sue the school, so the kid was allowed to sit down during the pledge. Eventually, there was more of a to-do about it, and we ended up not saying the pledge at all. Woo hoo!

There are of course, alternatives. You can always say the Matt Groening pledge under your breath:

I plead alignment to the flakes
of the untitled snakes of a merry cow.
And to the Republicans, for which they scam,
one nacho, underpants,
with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

Nacho underpants. Hee hee. Or you can say this one:

I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and to the Republic by which it stands; one Nation, indivisible, with the promise of liberty and justice for all.

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Isn’t that precious?

Apparently some fine folks in Arizona are traveling around the state in a nice “Please Hate Homos” semi-trailer truck called the “Marriage Mobile.” Beautiful. Why not just stick a nice burning cross on the top of that thing, and make it complete?
If you take a good look at the statistics about gay marriage in Massachusetts, where it has been legal for over a year now, we don’t seem to be contributing to the hetero divorce rate in that state, so I think the argument that we’re threatening marriage has been thoroughly debunked.

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Catholics refuse communion to people who support gays

According to an AP story, A priest in St. Paul, Minnesota denied communion to more than 100 parisioners on Sunday because they wore rainbow color sashes in support of gay and lesbian Catholics.

A Roman Catholic priest denied communion to more than 100 people Sunday, saying they could not receive the sacrament because they wore rainbow-colored sashes to church to show support for gay Catholics.

Before offering communion, the Rev. Michael Sklucazek told the congregation at the Cathedral of St. Paul (search) that anyone wearing a sash could come forward for a blessing but would not receive wine and bread.

A group called the Rainbow Sash Alliance has encouraged supporters to wear the multicolored fabric bands since 2001 on each Pentecost Sunday, the day Catholics believe the Holy Spirit came to give power to Christians soon after Jesus ascended to heaven. But Sunday’s service was the first time they had been denied communion at the altar.

Archbishop Harry Flynn told the group earlier this month that they would not receive communion because the sashes had become a protest against church teaching.

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I wanted to be a Darwinist, but I wasn’t selected

If you’re following the news at all, you’ve read that Kansas is having a second Scopes Monkey trial wherein they’re planning on teaching creationism in the classroom as a form of science. In 1999, Kansas decided to drop the teaching of evolution in the classroom (this decision has since been reversed). But today the Kansas Board of Education are having a trial to change state standards to allow the introduction of creationism under the guise of “intelligent design” the bonehead idea that the pattern behind natural laws is devised by a higher power.

So far the people arguing in favor of “intelligent design” have shown their intellectual level of thought: they admit they haven’t even read the state’s current standards for education, so they don’t even understand what they’re planning to amend. That’s some Republican smarts for ya, right there.

If plain common sense isn’t enough for you, read “15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense” from Scientific American magazine to learn how to answer their inane drivel.

I have some more thoughts on intelligent design, but if you’re at all squeamish, you might not want to read on. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Here’s the best argument IN FAVOR of intelligent design, but I have a feeling that the creationists won’t be keen on arguing this point: God designed the male body for gay male anal intercourse. You heard me. God intended men to take it up the ass. Why else would the prostate gland, a gland that sits INSIDE the body, be a sexually-sensitive organ that when stimulated, causes an intense orgasm? Why on earth would God give this organ the ability to do that, unless he intended men to put something up there to stimulate it? In addition to that, men have much larger anuses than women do, and they’re angled differently, to accomodate something going in.

Something I’ve never understood about heterosexual men is how they are terrified of anal intercourse when it comes to two men doing it, but they’re all keen on getting their girlfriends to participate. Why is that? What is the appeal of it with a woman? Especially when it’s much more dangerous for women to do than it is for men, because of the way women are built. The same straight guys who will say crap like “it’s an exit, not an entrance” (untrue for men!) are the ones trying to persuade their girlfriend to turn over (where it really IS an exit!).

Another “intelligent design” conundrum for you: why is the clitoris outside the vagina? Why, if God intended for us all to use the heterosexual missionary position, didn’t God put the clitoris inside the vagina to encourage women to participate in penis-in-vagina sex? Why put the clitoris outside where it’s easy for, say, me, to reach? Yes, because God intended women to be gay.

That really is some intelligent design.

Continue ReadingI wanted to be a Darwinist, but I wasn’t selected

Michigan Preparing To Let Doctors Refuse To Treat Gays

This is truly frightening. Not letting us get married is one thing, but refusing to provide health care to gay people is chilling, nazi-esque “load up the trains” behavior.

Doctors or other health care providers could not be disciplined or sued if they refuse to treat gay patients under legislation passed Wednesday by the Michigan House.

The bill allows health care workers to refuse service to anyone on moral, ethical or religious grounds.

The Republican dominated House passed the measure as dozens of Catholics looked on from the gallery. The Michigan Catholic Conference, which pushed for the bills, hosted a legislative day for Catholics on Wednesday at the state Capitol.

The bills now go the Senate, which also is controlled by Republicans.

The Conscientious Objector Policy Act would allow health care providers to assert their objection within 24 hours of when they receive notice of a patient or procedure with which they don’t agree. However, it would prohibit emergency treatment to be refused.

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