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Sister Mathematical and Sister Logical

Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SL: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past half-hour?

SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants.

SL: It’s logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is that we have to start walking faster.

SM: It is not working.

SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only obvious thing to do. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow both of us.

So the man decided to go after Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried because Sister Logical has not yet arrived. Finally, Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell us what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man could not follow both of us, so he followed me.

SM: So, what happened? Please tell us.

SL: The only logical thing to happen. I started to run as fast as I could.

SM: So what happened?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. The man also started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And what else?

SL: The only logical thing to happen. He reached me.

SM: Oh, no! What did you do then?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister. What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

Gotcha! And you thought it was dirty.

Author Unknown

A nun catches a ride in a taxi. As the taxi is going along, the nun notices that the cab driver keeps looking at her in the rearview mirror.

She says, "What is it my son?"

The cabbie replies, "Oh, I’m too embarrassed to say, sister."

She says, "Please, feel free to say anything, I’ve been a nun for many years and not too many things surprise me anymore."

The cabbie says, "Well, I’ve always had this fantasy of getting a blow job from a nun. I’m sorry sister, I feel so ashamed."

"That’s OK my son, I know well the needs of the flesh. I will do it on two conditions: one, that you are Catholic and two, that you are not married."

The cabbie says, "Yes on both conditions!" So they drive around the corner to a spot where the nun takes care of the cabbie.

As they continue on their way, the nun notices the cabbie is crying.

She says, "What’s wrong, my son?"

He says, "Sister, I lied. I’m Jewish and I’m married!"

She says, "That’s okay. My name’s Steve and I’m on my way to a costume party!"