Question: Just not that into you…

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Anon Question: Have you ever been dating someone who is obviously more into you than you are them? How did you handle it?

That that scenario has really never come up for me. I have to be really into someone to start dating them, actually. If I wasn’t very into someone, I turned them down. I wouldn’t want to waste their time if it wasn’t going to go somewhere. And I’ve always been more about the relationship than the sex, so “going somewhere” has always been a part of any romantic equation for me.

But the “they like me more” situation is really rare for me. The vast majority of the time, I was way more into them than they were into me. I’ve usually been the crushing, not the crushee.

Question from WilJ: Have you and Steph ever considered having a child?

We’ve talked about it a lot, because this is one of those big relationship questions that you have to talk about. We’ve arrived at the conclusion of “probably never.” Stephanie has never been particularly interested in having kids. I have very mixed feelings about it. When I was young, I thought I would for sure. But as I’ve gotten older, my feelings have changed a lot. For one thing, I’ve seen some close friends become parents, and it’s been particularly hard on them. In some cases they’ve given up some significant dreams to be a parent, and that’s tough to watch. And in some cases, raising the kids has been a significant struggle. That’s also hard to see. On the other hand… there is something very life-affirming about kids. I’ve had two grandparents die in the last year, and I’ve had some existential crises about that – what am I doing, where am I going, and will I have made a difference when I die? Worrying about that eats at you. But in the past year I’ve also met my two youngest nieces and my new nephew, and watching them laugh and play and learn reminds me that as things fall away in sorrow, there are new joys that spring up to take their place. Do I want to contribute to that? I’m not sure. I do however, want to encourage my siblings to have more kids. As many as possible. Because that’s the awesome thing about nieces and nephews — they are there to reaffirm your joie de vivre, but you can hand them back when they poop their pants.

Ask me a question yourself.

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The House on the Point: A Tribute to Franklin W. Dixon and The Hardy Boys

The House on the Point: A Tribute to Franklin W. Dixon and The Hardy Boys
Benjamin Hoffs (Tao of Pooh, Te of Piglet) rewrites the classic Hardy Boys book “The House on the Cliff” from the ground up — starting with the framework of the original 1927 version of the story and restoring its charm (rewrites to the book in the 1970s updated the settings, while stripping much of the appeal) and filling in those niggling plot holes that one overlooks as a child but which stand out for adults returning to the nostalgic stories of their youth.
Hoff’s version is very much a tribute, not a parody or pastiche, of the enjoyable, escapist novels we adored as kids. And his additions to the novel (especially to make characters more three dimensional, and settings more vibrant) work very well. The effect is quite seamless — without the explanation of what’s new in the appendix one might never suspect that this isn’t the same book we read years ago.

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Photoshop Hacks: Choose Your Own Adventure Novels

My brother Todd had a ton of the Choose Your Own Adventure novels (the early version of video games). Check out Something Awful’s photoshop contest for “Rejected CYOA Books.”
My favorites are “Don’t Bother, You Die In Most of the Endings Anyway” and “Everyone Wants to Touch My Giant Snake and Jewels.”
Also: “Shrödinger’s Cat. Choose from 2 possible endings.”

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Kids suspended for massive food fight

I love kids, and this is why. Rock on, kids.

Associated Press, CHESTERTON, Ind. — A massive middle school food fight left several students suspended and the eighth-grade class footing the cleaning bill that included the cost of scraping mashed potatoes off the ceiling.
Last week’s fight at Chesterton Middle School left ceiling tiles damaged and could cost the students as much as $1,000 to pay for overtime, maintenance and repairs, said Duneland School Corporation Superintendent Dirk Baer. “It wasn’t just one or two kids throwing grapes,” Baer said. “There were mashed potatoes sticking to the ceiling.”
Security cameras captured the fracas that broke out about halfway through the 25-minute lunch period Wednesday at the school in the town 15 miles east of Gary.
The school suspended between six and 10 students for two or three days for launching the day’s menu of chicken-fried steak, mashed potatoes and milk into the air.
As many as 50 students might have been involved. Principal Jim Ton recommended one student be expelled.
Cleaning costs will be taken from the eighth grade’s extracurricular activity fund.
Baer said the whole class was punished because many of the grade’s 500 students knew about plans for the food fight but failed to alert administrators.
“It was planned and it was widely known that it would happen, but nobody said anything,” Baer said. “Everybody has to take responsibility.”

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Things Adults Learn from Kids

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite

A 4 years-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape

It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room

Baseballs make marks on ceilings

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it’s already too late

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak – it explodes

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old. Duplos will not.

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

Super glue is forever

McGyver can teach us many things we don’t want to know

Ditto Tarzan

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water

Pool filters do not like Jello

VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving

You probably do not want to know what that odor is

Always look in the oven before you turn it on

Plastic toys do not like ovens

The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

It will however make cats dizzy

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

Quiet does not necessarily mean don’t worry

A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)

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