All good things…

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So it’s Friday, and my last full day of vacation. It’s interesting to me that I spent so long feeling like I was missing some sort of creative outlet, but when I had a bunch of free time, I didn’t sit down and start a creative project, but instead did a hundred little projects around the house that needed to be done. But in those hundred things, I gave myself the time and space unimpeded by a schedule to be creative – to toy with different solutions, to figure out the best way to do it, to add the flourish that made it look just right.

Most of the time I spend working on the house was actually spent doing interior design – rethinking our living spaces and how we use them; relocating and creating the white space and margins and breathing room around our clutter, learning what looked best where and breaking down assumptions of what our creative spaces should be around the house. Prompted by our friend Lisa, I did a bit of reading in my tattered old copy of A Pattern Language that helped me do some of that assumption breaking about rooms and their uses and what makes us feel good about the space we live in.

One of the biggest revelations in this process was understanding that a well-designed home isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about how a space makes you feel. It’s easy to get caught up in trends, but at the core of it all, a home should function in a way that enhances daily life. This meant reworking layouts to maximize both utility and comfort, incorporating natural light in ways that made the rooms feel more open, and choosing materials that not only looked beautiful but also aged gracefully.

It became clear that the right renovations aren’t just about upgrading a space; they’re about crafting an environment that truly supports the way we live, work, and gather. That’s exactly the philosophy behind Stable Works, where expert builders and designers approach home improvement with an eye for both form and function. Whether it’s a thoughtful remodel that respects the original character of a home or a complete transformation to suit modern needs, their work is grounded in quality and craftsmanship.

They understand that every home tells a story, and the best renovations enhance that narrative rather than erase it. By reimagining spaces with a keen attention to detail—rethinking layouts, refining finishes, and introducing elements that create a natural flow—homeowners can experience a home that not only looks better but also feels inherently right.

All that about living space aside… the fact that I went from being an extremely unhappy person to being an extremely happy person in the space of a week has a lot of implications.

I’m much more creative and get far more work done (an extraordinary amount of work done) when I don’t have schedules and deadlines. I work better in an unstructured environment than a structured one. I knew that on some level because I’ve always resisted day planners and life organizers and Getting Things Done type schemes and wreckage of a thousand failed attempts at those all around. That I clearly need to throw away.

How I can reconcile that with my highly (over) structured job, I don’t know. I work there five days a week, and spend the next two days trying to recover from the brutality of it. So I never have time to do that unstructured, free-form play/work around the house, especially when we have weekend social events and friends that box in my only free time into schedules and “go here!” “go there!” blocks of time. I’ve turned into an anti-social person over the last few years as a result – not because I don’t love my friends, but because I don’t love my job, and scheduling time is too much like a job.

I want to quit my job and become an artist. But then, who doesn’t? And if I did, we wouldn’t be able to keep everything that we have. So, I guess Monday I go back to work.

Continue ReadingAll good things…

A little of this, a little of that

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It’s Thursday, and I have yet to do a real non-link related blog post, despite the fact that I’ve been off work all week. So what the hell have I been doing all this time? De-stressing. And it’s been fantastic.

I’ve spent the whole time without any agenda. Well, that’s actually not true; I had several ideas — I was going to have a reading vacation, and a writing vacation — but I didn’t get to them. Instead I’ve just puttered around doing a bit of reading, a bit of writing, a bit of blog reading, and some cleaning and home repair. I’ve just followed my nose wherever it lead, and I’ve accomplished a huge number of small tasks that have been nagging at me for a long time, but without any actual stress involved. It’s been lovely. I wish I could do this all day, every day.

I started out the week somewhat hampered – I’m having another bout of diverticulitis, and it’s put a crimp in my plans to take the D-O-G for a W-A-L-K every day. I’ve been taking antibiotics and hoping it’s not a serious problem, but knowing that it probably is and I probably need to go in to the doctor. I just really want to avoid the hospital. I’m pretty much done with those. Whether I need them or not.

Now it’s Thursday. I’m not sure what I’ll get up today. I’ve been toying with the idea of going to Ikea and getting some of the furniture we need. It’s only two hours. Seems like fun.

Continue ReadingA little of this, a little of that

Ennui

I’ve been rather blue lately. I’m feeling creatively frustrated.

N is for Neville who died of ennui
N is for Neville who died of ennui

I have some idea in my head that I can’t quite get out – like that time when you had that really fantastic dream, and just as you woke up, you thought “I gotta remember this!” at the same time all the details start sliding away from you and you’re left with just that feeling that the dream gave you – a feeling of awesome, a Stendhal syndrome, that you’re trying to reconstruct…

Like I know there’s a picture there that just isn’t coming into focus, and every time I think I just start to get it, the dog barks, (if I’m at home) or someone comes into my cube (if I’m at work) and I lose track of that vision that I was trying to get to, that I almost just had in my hand if I’d just closed my fingers more quickly…

I find myself wishing for a work space at home that’s more like my workspace at work – a clean, organized desk with plenty of space and a big monitor to get my work done and away from the pets and the phone as distractions. Someplace I can focus. Entertainment Weekly has been doing a “Writers at Work” series, and Neil Gaiman’s is cool:

Gaiman escapes to his wooded Wisconsin hideaway with pup Cabel in tow to craft his fantastical works. Says the author, ”The setting is interesting enough that if I get stuck and need to stare out the window, there’s something to look at, which isn’t interesting enough to make me stop working and look at it for long.”

What a jerk with his “Wisconsin hideaway.” Where’s my hideaway?

On my tiny violin

I know, what a terrible problem to have, right? You play for me the world’s tiniest violin in response.

I think really just want to be more like this kid:

I Fucking Love Coloring
I Fucking Love Coloring
Continue ReadingEnnui

Goodbye, Twitter

There are lots of Twitter critics out there, and I have rolled my eyes at their criticism over the past several years in blog posts on this site. My opinion of most of their opinions has changed very little. I still believe most of them are wrong about their objections. For the most part, Twitter critics tend to fall into a couple of distinct categories:

1) Luddites.
There are some folks (even old, hardened, battle-scarred internet veterans) who just don’t get this social-networking thing. The don’t get why people want to have group conversations or connect with all of their friends online. Those folks are going be left behind in the technology gap just like non-internet users — folks who are now losing touch with cultural touchstones and missing opportunities to prosper due to lack of technology.

We’re coming up on a distinct generation gap between veteran internet users and a new generation of internet youngsters, and social networking seems to be the fault line between them. Interestingly enough, some of my co-workers are among the internet veteran/social network naysayers, which makes me realize that some of the online apps we build at work — with these folks — are in danger of being outmoded, dinosaur technologies because they don’t allow quality user interaction not just with us but with other users of our apps. That concerns me a lot.

2) Egotists.
You know exactly who these guys are. They find creative ways to make fun of the name “Twitter” and say things like “I don’t care what you had for lunch.” They’re the folks who don’t want to do something if they didn’t think of it themselves. If they had coded Twitter, they’d be promoting it on the farthest reaches of the planet, and they’re mad someone came up with something so popular. Give them a little more time, and they’ll be Twitter’s biggest users, and they’ll be purging their old anti-Twitter blog posts and pretending they took up Twitter at SXSW 2007 with the rest of us early adopters. I have a couple of friends in this category who now have more tweets than I do. I couldn’t get them to try it in March of 2007. Now they’re acting like they told ME about it.

I’ve found that the above two reasons tend to dominate critical thinking about Twitter and micro-blogging technologies, and neither of them are valid. However, I’ve discovered that, my enjoyment of Twitter and critique of the above criticisms of it aside, after 2 years on Twitter and 7,134 Tweets, I’m ready to pack it in on the Twitter app in its current form for a couple different reasons.

1) Distraction.
Twitter causes massive Continual Partial Attention. It’s not healthy, and it’s a serious problem for me. I get lots more work done at work with Twitter turned off. I get lots more work done at home when I turn off Twitter. And studies on multi-tasking show that people’s attention to detail and ability to do quality work suffers severely when they are subject to too many sources of input that take them off task. Mine most assuredly is.

I think that this is a drawback that could, with proper development, be overcome, either on Twitter or on applications that have similar functionalities. Twitter could adopt some way to “digest” tweets so you could turn off Twitter temporarily and yet scan tweets easily at later times. Or they could adopt some ways to mark tweets as “important” so you could see the tweets from your friend alerting you to a relative that just died, while filtering out the news about the celebrity that just died.

2) Micro-thinking.
When you have to parse every statement down to 140 characters, you throw out complexities, paraphrase, and, inevitably, make your meaning less clear. You start to think in simpler thoughts. After tweeting for so long, I find it to be a struggle to think things out and examine ideas in a more complex form. Hence the lack of longer writing on this blog. That is a trend I desperately need to reverse. The answer to that is to go back to the tool I use for complex expression – this blog!

3) Twitter-haste.
The immediacy of Twitter also means that my micro-thinking – my lack of reflection on and examination of the thoughts running through my brain – gets broadcast immediately. There have been times when I’ve tweeted something and immediately after realized the counter-argument to what I’ve just said, or realized the missing premise that invalidated the conclusion I just came to. Oops — too late.

I would benefit from a pause button on Twitter – a “Read that over – did you mean what you just said?” alert before my words get posted.

Not to worry, though – my every error has been pointed out by my twitterfolk.

4) Equality of Attention.
I know this sounds bad, but there are some folks who are your acquaintances for a reason. You have people you are close to whom you want to hear from every day. You have acquaintances who you enjoy spending some time with, but who are different enough from you that you don’t want to interact with them all the time. And there’s nothing wrong with that; it’s the nature of friendships. Twitter tends to flatten all that out. You get a lot more of your friends (good) along with a lot more of your acquaintances (not always good). And at times you discover things about your friends that make you want to turn them into acquaintances (disconcerting!).

Short of unfollowing people, there’s not really any way of filtering those people on Twitter. Facebook, on the other hand, lets you do this to a large extent. You can alter your “newsfeed” on your home page to see less of some folks’ status updates and more of others. You can increase and decrease the types of social information you’re getting from your friends. And you do that without their knowledge, and thus without hurt feelings. Allowing these tweaks means that you can control the flow of information to your computer and decline to listen to people who want to be offensive or intrusive without cutting them out of your life completely. In that sense, Facebook succeeds where Twitter fails.

It’s true that Twitter has been a really good thing in my life for a long time. I’ve learned lots of great things about my friends that I never knew before. But overall those benefits have been canceled out by the four drawbacks of Twitter I listed above. And for the past six months I’ve been struggling mightily with those drawbacks, torn about what to do. I think I’ve finally worked out how I really feel, though. I’m not giving up on social networking applications. I’m just rejecting one that doesn’t work well for me anymore.

span class=”hilightyellow”>2012 Update: Oh, you know I’m back on Twitter. I was gone for over 2 years, and I hopped back on when lots of celebrities were joining and we were using it more for work. My use of it has changed radically, though, to account for the difficulties I wrote about above. I have separate accounts: a public one for work, a closed one for friends, and a throw-away one for following celebrities. I don’t check Twitter for long stretches of time. I only look at my work account at work.

Continue ReadingGoodbye, Twitter

New Year’s Resolutions – 2009

Father Time Eight days into the new year, and I’m finally getting around to making some resolutions. So I’m already off to a great start! Woo Hoo! This should be great.

1) I need to get physically fit. I need to be stronger, more flexible and have better balance and stamina. The photography hobby I’ve taken up is making that really obvious, and I need to get serious about being healthier for my own sake, as well as for getting the photos I want to get.

2) Take photos every day. It’s the only way I’m going to get better.

3) Write every day. Either here on this blog, or on other projects; I have story ideas all the time that I end up seeing executed by someone else, and often not as well as I would have done.

4) Read every day. – Aside from the fact that reading has always be my “Go To” method of stress relief, there are also some books I want to plow through for because I have a story idea.

5) Turn off the TV. I waste way too much time on it. More important things to fit into the day. I think the Rachel Maddow show is the one thing I watch that is actually worthwhile; everything else can go away.

6) finish refinishing a couple piece of furniture that I have half started. Just for the sake of getting them done.

In the grand history of me making resolutions — I’ve never completed any of them. But I have made great strides in the direction I want to go, so they’re useful for me to clarify what’s important. I can see where I get derailed — I’m good through January and February, but it gets to be March and I start worrying about gardening, and April, May and June are all big social months where I pay attention to activities rather than goals. I’ll have to watch out for those things this year and fit the goals first, then the activities.

Continue ReadingNew Year’s Resolutions – 2009

Hanging around the house

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Yup, I have the whole week off. My one thing I really need to accomplish is to come up with a site design for my friend Chi. Other than that, I can kick around for the whole week. Yay!

We spend the last several days visiting family for the holidays. We spent Christmas Eve with my mom, visited my brother’s house Christmas day, and then drove to Valparaiso to see Stephanie’s parents and friends for several days. We took the Spikel Monster with us, and he was very good. He really loves Grandpa Doug, and I think the feeling is mutual.

Today, the little man was very grumpy with me. I think he was just wanting to settle into his routine around the house again. I foiled that plot by giving him a haircut and a bath. He might be pissed at me, but he’s a cute pissed, at least, and not so much a ragamuffin. I also puttered around the house and did things here and there, which I love. I enjoying getting little things done without feeling like I have a giant list to do. There’s no pressure that way, and I get to just enjoy the sense of accomplishment.

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Glare Ice

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I carved a truck out of a block of ice this morning and drove it to work. I’m quite proud of my sculpting skills. It looks just like a red Ford Ranger with a silver shell cap.

We’ve been managing to keep up with things a bit better lately. Of course, this has a lot to do with the fact that I hired a landscape company to come rake up the leaves at our house and at the rental. Cheating, I know! But the feeling of happiness I get when I look out at our clean lawn was worth it. Okay, maybe that was a pricey indulgence, but I feel so much better. We had the gutters cleaned at both houses, and we have a guy re-roofing the garage at the rental house. We also recently started to have our fireplace reworked so it will use a vent-less gas log.

We still have to knock out all our Christmas cards and wrap presents. But I spent all day last Friday puttering around the house getting stuff put away in the basement, and getting the recycling boxes broken down and loaded in the truck.

And we still have more organizing in the guest room to do. We’re not clear of clutter by a long shot – but I feel a lot better now than I did a few weeks ago.

Continue ReadingGlare Ice

Xmas Busy Busy Busy

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Christmas Garland

Last night I did some major decorating of the front porch – we have garlands around all the porch posts with big red bows on them, and giant red bells hanging. Stephanie gave me candle lights for the windows for Xmas last year — they’re cool because they’re wireless and come on automagically, so you don’t have to find outlets for them, and you don’t have to run all over the house turning them on. Fun.

Now I just need to string lights. It’s the first time I’ve really done that around the porch; before now we didn’t have an outlet, and I’ve not had a good porch in previous houses. Once I get it worked out this year, though, it will go quickly in future holiday seasons.

I also managed to do a tiny bit of raking in the front yard last night. We’re pretty far behind on that task this year. It’s pretty embarrassing since the leaves came down much earlier than in years past, and because neighbors have been done for awhile. We seem to always be the shabbiest house on the block.

I packed a couple of boxes of discard books in the car this morning to take to the used bookstore. So progress is occurring…

Continue ReadingXmas Busy Busy Busy

Blogiversary?

Way back in the dark ages when I started this site, I didn’t manage to keep track of the date. It was before blogger software, and before it was even affordable to own a domain name for a personal site (it cost in the $200 range to purchase one). I believe – but am not entirely sure – that I put my first pages up in November of 1994. My “site” was hosted at my local ISP. I had the pages of jokes up, and an article I’d written on the National Women’s Music Festival (Cringeworthy! Don’t read it!), and various news stories I’d cribbed from around the internet. And a bunch of “essays” on love and life, some of which aren’t up anymore because I’m embarrassed at how ridiculous they sounded upon reading them later. One of my first site iterations has a treasure map image map on the front page, and all the sections of content were items on the map. It was deeply cheesy and I’ll have to dig it out, because it was hilarious.

Time Flies The consequence of all of this is that I’ve never had a “blogiversary” date to celebrate like other sites. So I’m making one up now. November has just past; this site is at least 14 years old. Woo ha. Party hats for all.

I haven’t written much lately; summer is always hectic, and we’ve got lots of outstanding projects.

The rental house is again empty, and we have again have lots of repairs from tenant neglect and abuse of the property. We’re working on those and hope to have a property manager so we won’t have to deal with this sort of thing for months on end every freaking year. It amazes me how little people care for where they live if they don’t own it. It’s really sad, and frustrating for us, since we have to put time into it when there’s so much to do at our house, too.

We’re also working on lots of stuff around our house. We’ve made some progress here and there getting stuff in shape and clutter-busting. The guest room has been a particularly knotty problem for us. It turned into the catch-all room when we were moving in and didn’t know exactly what to do with stuff, and consequently, we have boxes and boxes that need to be sorted — all piled up in front of the Murphy bed cabinet. At one time or another, one of us would wander into the room and attempt to figure out how to put stuff away, get overwhelmed, and scurry out again.

So we hired an organization guru to help us. So far, she’s spent 2 hours with us in the room, working on sorting out boxes and choosing what stays, what gets trashed, and what goes to goodwill. Having someone other than yourself ask you questions about your stuff is REALLY helpful in focusing your thinking. She doesn’t have all the hang-ups and blinders, so she can ask what the item really means to you. And she can keep your attention on small chunks of the organizing so that you don’t get overwhelmed by the full volume of stuff. We got so much done in the first two hours that I was excited for days afterward. We can see large sections of the floor! The Murphy bed is within reach! We can have people stay over soon! Maybe! I’m not sure Stephanie was equally thrilled, which worries me.

Last night I went through and reorganized much of our Christmas decor in the basement. Inside, we’re only decorating modestly and putting up the small tree to keep things simple. We plan on decorating the porch with lights for the first time (we had an outlet installed this summer) so I have to work out a lighting scheme. Last night we also went through all the strands of lights we have available and tested and fixed many of them. I really enjoy that. I kinda wish we had an art project using lights.

I’m looking forward to Christmas, although it’s hectic at work and we’re already shaping up to have too many parties to attend. But it is at least some respite from the down-in-the-dumps feelings I get every year when there’s no sun and it’s too cold. I really would just like to curl up at home and stay there and never venture out into the weather. The news and worrying about the economy and financial considerations of loved ones also has given me the blues in a serious way; hence the lack of real writing here.

There’s so much that seems out of my control that I feel helpless a lot of the time, and angry, too.

Continue ReadingBlogiversary?