jokes

Your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy got his head stuck in the banister

You relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing to the “Footloose” soundtrack

You think the Two Coreys are “totally awesome”

You’re still bitter that Wham! broke up

Punky Brewster is your hero

You type all of your term papers on a Commodore 64

You still resent your parents for not installing a dumbwaiter in your house like Webster’s

The only video games you play are Frogger, 텐텐벳, and Pac Man

You’re building your own Clockwork Smurf

Your summer attire is Jellies and Jams

A-Ha’s “Take on Me” is still your favorite video

You consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms

You wonder why more people don’t wear high heels, Jordache jeans, and lacy ankle socks

You call all motorcycle cops “Ponch”

Every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks

You’re still upset Madonna and Sean broke up

You know who Stinky Sullivan is

You work out with “Get in Shape Girl”

You want to be Molly Ringwald when you grow up

You enjoy dancing on the ceiling and wearing your sunglasses at night

You know who Loverboy is

You think there should be a Kids Incorporated original cast reunion

You think of Janet Jackson as “that girl who used to date Willis”

You can sing the theme song to Small Wonder

Every time you see a fountain you want to dance around it and yell “Fame!”

You still have a shoebox full of Garbage Pail Kid cards

You write your congressman asking him to introduce a bill to make “Born in the USA” the national anthem

You still use your Snoopy Sno-Cone machine

You know it’s not “comma, comma, comma” it’s karma

You stay up nights wondering what Bastian’s mother’s name was in “The Neverending Story”

You have nightmares about the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak

You still practice your Care Bear Stare

You know that girls just wanna have fuh-un

You can name all The Wuzzles

You harbor a secret dream of being slimed by Alistair

You can do the Safety Dance

In your spare time you are writing “The Breakfast Club 2”

You like to “connect the dots, la la la la!”

Someone mentions Jennifer Beals and you don’t say “Who?”

Your prized possession is a collection of “Return of the Jedi” Shrinky Dinks

You know whose number is 867-5309

You get depressed thinking about Anthony Michael Hall’s career

You’re starting a write-in campaign to MTV to bring back Remote Control

You drink Diet Coke because Max Headroom told you to

You consider Jo vs. Blair the major philosophical conflict of the 20th century

You have a duck phone and ride around your house on a little train

You want to be one of the Solid Gold Dancers

You still watch things on Beta

You want to change your name to Rio and dance on the sand

You know that “Weird Science” was a movie before a tv show

Your favorite proverb is “some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on”

You always waited for the Sweet Pickles Bus to visit your house

Your favorite party game is Hungry Hungry Hippos

You saw the New Kids on the Block when they were Tiffany’s opening act

You liked Tom Hanks better when he was a crossdresser

You know which Hollywood Square Jim J Bullock was in

You practice getting in and out of your car through the windows

You have the tendency to turn up the collar of your polo shirts

You’re still wondering who really was the boss

You know what the “P” in “Alex P. Keaton” stands for

You keep asking your teachers if instead of the quiz you can take the physical challenge

You organize weekend tournaments of TV tag

You still drink New Coke

When you watch “Terminator 2” you wonder where Vincent is

You know ALF’s real name

You never go out for a night on the town without frosted blue eyeshadow and feathered bangs

You can name all of the Thundercats

You hanker for a hunk of cheese

Everything in your wardrobe is either pastel or fluorescent

Your musical inspiration is Sonny Mann

Sometimes you just want to shout, shout, let it all out

You’re planning a dream vacation to Mepos

You use your Speak and Spell to phone home

You know the original members of Menudo

Sometimes out of the blue you just got to shake your love

When you’re stuck in traffic you tell your car to engage Turbo Boost and are surprised when it doesn’t talk back

You remember when Vanessa sang Kareoke to “Locomotion”

You know that Mr. Steele functions best in an advisory capacity.

People are constantly gagging you with spoons

Your idea of appreciating ancient cultures is “Walk Like an Egyptian”

The only thing you know about the Nazis is that they threw Indy to the snakes

You still use your hair crimper before going out on a hot date

You hatch plots to break Murdock out of VA hospital

You know which five people Serpentor’s DNA came from.

You have “We Are the World” on 45

You’re still sending death threats to Mr. Rubik

You can feel St. Elmo’s fire burnin’ in you

You watch NYPD Blue thinking, “Well, they’re no Crockett and Tubbs, that’s for sure”

You know what a “burnout” is.

You know what “Sike” means.

You know the profound meaning of “Wax on, Wax off”.

You know that another name for a keyboard is a”Synthesizer”.

You wanted to be a Goonie.

You know who Max Headroom is.

You ever wore flourescent clothing.

You could breakdance, or wish you could.

You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.

Partying “like it’s 1999” seemed SO far away.

You wanted to be on StarSearch.

You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.

You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who did.

You knew what Willis was “talkin’ ’bout”.

You HAD to have your MTV

You hold a special place in your heart for “Back to the Future”.

You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.

You actually thought “Dirty Dancing” was a REALLY good movie.

You heard of Garbage Pail Kids.

You knew “The Artist” when he was humbly called “Prince”.

You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.

You own any cassettes.

You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we’d all be living on the moon.

You remember And/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from Pizza Hut.

Or any other stupid collection they came out with.

Poltergeist freaked you out.

You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.

You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

You know what a Doozer is.

You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did.

You ever had a Swatch Watch.

You can name 1/2 the members of Duran Duran

You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.

You had WonderWoman or Superman underoos.

You know what a “Whammee” is.

You had a crush on Jon Bon Jovi, or knew someone who did.