You know how you find a site that you really like, and you read it and enjoy it and show it to everyone you know? And you go along and after awhile the site changes, and you find yourself enjoying it less and less, and then there gets to be a point at which you go, this is not so much fun anymore?

And then one day someone posts something that you really don’t agree with, and you state your case in the comments, and they churn and rationalize about why they’re right, and finally you give up and say “unsubscribe”? I guess It’s the “it’s not you, it’s me” moment for one of my former favorites – Shakesville.

Even some of the best-intentioned communities can turn insular and unable to admit when they’re wrong, and vicious towards anyone who even questions their ideas, sadly. Granted, I only get the stray, inane comments on my blog, so I don’t have a lot of moderation to worry about. And I know that managing a large community must be stressful. But… I don’t know how to express it, exactly. There seems to be a level of tolerance that they demand towards their own writing that they don’t return to the people who make comments, ask questions, or post opinions on their threads. The level of snide that comes from some of their posters/moderators, particularly deeky, towards anyone that has a thought they’ve haven’t embraced is too much. I don’t want to read that every day.

I’m auditioning Feministe as my new regular feminism reading to keep me up on what’s going on in feminist thought. We’ll see if that’s a better fit.

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