A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submissions:
As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from Charles Hurst at Sun Microsystems).
Xerox and Wurlitzer:
They’re going to make reproductive organs.
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers:
New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild
Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler:
New company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker
W. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems:
New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace
3M & goodyear:
mmmGood
John Deere & Abitibi-Price:
Deere Abi
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil:
Honey, I’m Home
Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining:
Mine, All Mine
3M, J.C. Penney, Canadian Opera Company:
3 Penney Opera
Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants:
Poupon Pants
Knott’s Berry Farm & National Organization of Women:
Knott NOW!
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining:
Zip Audi Do-Da
The most obvious candidates for a merger: Netscape and Yahoo.
The resulting company will be called: "Net ‘n’ Yahoo."