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These are jokes, and not intended to be taken seriously. Please view the site disclaimer.

Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

Say, “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.”

Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

Say, “Damn, this water’s cold.”

Drop a marble and say, “Oh shit! My glass eye!”

Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.”

Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

Say, “Now how did that get there?”

Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.”

Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, “Whoa! Easy boy!”

Say, “Interesting… more floaters than sinkers.”

Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?”

Say, “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me.”

Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.

Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot.”

Say, “Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?”

Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your “Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, “Peek-a-boo!”

Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free”.

Public restrooms are a breeding ground for awkwardness, and let’s face it—people do some truly bizarre things when they think they have a bit of privacy, even if they’re only separated from the next stall by a thin sheet of metal.

The list above is a goldmine of inappropriate bathroom humor that takes every social norm and flushes it with gusto. Whether it’s the horror of mystery fluids sliding under your stall or a surprise performance from the stall-side percussion section, these moments are exactly why some folks prefer to hold it in until they get home.

But jokes aside, they highlight just how important it is to have clean, private, and well-maintained restroom options in any public setting. That’s where Diamond outdoor bathrooms come in clutch—because not every event or site can rely on traditional brick-and-mortar facilities. Whether you’re managing a festival, a construction site, or an outdoor wedding, having high-quality portable restrooms that feel safe, sanitary, and not like the setting of a social prank war is a game-changer.

These units are designed with comfort and privacy in mind, helping you avoid both the chaos of crowded public bathrooms and the trauma of an unexpected cream corn splatter. With professional servicing and elevated design, they restore dignity to the public restroom experience—no cross-dressing newsletters or peanut butter mishaps included.