Fun Things To Do in a Public Bathroom

These are jokes, and not intended to be taken seriously. Please view the site disclaimer.

Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that."

Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

Say, "Damn, this water’s cold."

Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

Say, "Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before."

Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

Say, "Now how did that get there?"

Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

Say, "Interesting… more floaters than sinkers."

Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

Say, "C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me."

Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.

Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Sheniqua Hawk

    You forgot a really good one!
    Come out of the stall with your pants around your ankles with a plunger in hand and yell

  2. Bill Greene

    I was at a theme park once and I went to the bathroom, and remembered a chocolate bar in my pocket. So for fun I squished it in my hand and reached under the stall wall and asked if they could spare some TP.

  3. steff

    Set off your phone really loudly, then make it stop just as you drop something in the toilet and go, woops…

  4. quinn schuster

    you forgot one.
    squirt chocolate sauce over the stall wall and say oopps.

  5. GunsNroses

    ‘Hmmmm i’ve never seen that color before!

  6. rebekka

    you forgot one
    act stupid and say whoops i missed and then squirt chocolate sause all over the floor and on you and come out and say i need to practice more often

  7. Toby

    OMG! These are absolutly hilarious! Its actually from a website and how to annoy people! They are really funny too. Try how to annoy people at the movie theatre.

Comments are closed.