10. Hey! There’s a gift.
9. Well, well, well…
8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would’ve fit.
7. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
6. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
5. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!
4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
2. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
1. I really don’t deserve this.