My response to Kip Tew’s e-mail

My response to Kip Tew’s polite e-mail to me. Although he was nice in not chastizing me about the harshness of my remarks, I do still disagree with his position on this issue.

You say that your remarks were taken out of context, but you provided me with more context that basically tells me my interpretation of your remarks was actually correct.
You say that you were “willing to help elect someone who is not as forward thinking about this issue in order to not go backwards.” How is that not compromising your principles? If you believe in civil rights for gay people, then you fight for those beliefs, whether you are fighting Democrats or Republicans. If you don’t believe in gay civil rights, then DON’T TAKE MONEY FROM GAY PEOPLE. It makes me sick to think that money I donated to Stonewall went to a candidate like Vern Tincher.
This is the problem with the Democratic Party on a state AND national level — they don’t actually STAND UP for what they say they believe in. They care more about trying to win votes from the middle than in supporting their party base and standing on their own platform, and in doing so they lose both.
I understand that not keeping a Democratic Majority in the house is probably going to set us back on gay issues, but I’d much rather force THEM to take us backwards on gay issues than to go backwards ourselves. Doing what you did was like robbing a liquor store to put money in the church collection box, and then justifying it by saying that we did some good by supporting a church. Ummm. No.
You say “I hope that soon the American people will change their opinion about these issues. I think it is happening but it is a slower process than either you or I would like.”
What will change the pace of that process is YOU HELPING US change their opinions. Believe me, those of us out here in the gay community are working our asses off to do that. But if you support candidates who make anti-gay statements, like Vern Tincher, then it’s pretty clear to Indiana residents that the Democratic Party doesn’t really care about civil rights issues for gay people. And if you don’t care about civil rights issues, why should Indiana citizens?
Sure it’s taken 100+ years for black people to achieve progress on civil rights issues. That’s a badge of shame and dishonor on our country and on our state that it has taken so long to reach a point that should have been obvious to everyone long ago. We certainly shouldn’t be using that as a bench mark by which we measure other civil rights issues. I’m tired of hearing heterosexual people people tell me “just a little further.” I don’t want my basic civil rights a decade from now, or a year from now or even in months. I need them NOW.
This isn’t an abstract concept here, this is my real life. I’m merging my household with the woman I want to be my wife… and it is mind-bogglingly difficult to figure out how to do that in this state to protect our assets and make sure that our future is safe and secure.
And we’re looking at this through the long lens of friends our ours, Carol and Jody, who were a couple for 35 years. Jody died this year, and despite all the legal support they had in place, her death was a huge financial blow to Carol. That wouldn’t have happened had they been allowed to legally recognize the marriage that they had been living in for so long.

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