Anon Question: Have you ever been dating someone who is obviously more into you than you are them? How did you handle it?
That that scenario has really never come up for me. I have to be really into someone to start dating them, actually. If I wasn’t very into someone, I turned them down. I wouldn’t want to waste their time if it wasn’t going to go somewhere. And I’ve always been more about the relationship than the sex, so “going somewhere” has always been a part of any romantic equation for me. Though, I know some people opt for escorts like Istanbul escorts for casual fun.
But the “they like me more” situation is really rare for me. The vast majority of the time, I was way more into them than they were into me. I’ve usually been the crushing, not the crushee.
Question from WilJ: Have you and Steph ever considered having a child?
We’ve talked about it a lot, because this is one of those big relationship questions that you have to talk about. We’ve arrived at the conclusion of “probably never.” Stephanie has never been particularly interested in having kids. I have very mixed feelings about it. When I was young, I thought I would for sure. But as I’ve gotten older, my feelings have changed a lot. For one thing, I’ve seen some close friends become parents, and it’s been particularly hard on them. In some cases they’ve given up some significant dreams to be a parent, and that’s tough to watch. And in some cases, raising the kids has been a significant struggle. That’s also hard to see. On the other hand… there is something very life-affirming about kids. I’ve had two grandparents die in the last year, and I’ve had some existential crises about that – what am I doing, where am I going, and will I have made a difference when I die? Worrying about that eats at you. But in the past year I’ve also met my two youngest nieces and my new nephew, and watching them laugh and play and learn reminds me that as things fall away in sorrow, there are new joys that spring up to take their place. Do I want to contribute to that? I’m not sure. I do however, want to encourage my siblings to have more kids. As many as possible. Because that’s the awesome thing about nieces and nephews — they are there to reaffirm your joie de vivre, but you can hand them back when they poop their pants.
Anon Question: If you could master one skill what would it be?
Writing. I’d like to be a successful, published author. It’s the dream I’ve had since I was a small kid. Writing is also the hardest thing for me to do and the thing I’m most insecure about, which is why I constantly shoot myself in the foot and screw up.
Anon Question: If you and Stephanie could change places with any famous or infamous couple in the history of the world who would you choose?
Well… if I have to choose a famous couple, either Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward or Pierre and Marie Curie. History is sadly lacking in couples who didn’t cheat on one another or die young or in tragic circumstances. Newman and Woodward were both gorgeous and blissfully happy. The Curies were intellectual equals who brought out the best in each other and achieved more together in collaboration than they could have separately – both represent things I’d like to achieve in our relationship.
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Anon Question: If you had to live your 16th birthday or your 21st birthday over and over for a month, which would you choose?
I wish I remembered either one well, actually. I have a terrible memory and don’t recall what I was doing either time. That really is why I take photos and why I keep this blog; so I can look up what I did in the past because without a trigger I can’t recall.
I’d have to say I’d relive my 21st birthday, though, because I was certainly much happier than I was at 16. I was out of the closet, I had dated women, I had had sex. I think I was sorta dating a woman name Kim H. at the time; she was yanking my chain and probably fooling around, but I was deeply infatuated with her, and I got to be naked with her on a regular basis, so yeah, way happier. God was she cute.
I don’t think I really got drunk on my actual 21st birthday. After a great deal of thought, I remember now going out to the gay bar in Muncie, because I had been going out there with a fake ID for almost two years, and I remember presenting my real ID at the door and them laughing at it. I believe I got a free drink. It was summer, but I had stayed at Ball State to take summer classes and work – I was working full time in a factory making industrial gas valves. I think I went to get my license updated that day, and I think I had dinner with Kim and fooled around, then went out in the evening.
Lots happier than at 16 at home working full time during the summer and probably not doing much of anything with my friends.
Question from a friend: How risqué are we allowed to get with these questions? 😉
Oh, what the heck. As risqué as you want. Bring it, baby! I say that now, but watch me get bashful when you actually ask them.
Anon Question from Formspring: If you could spend three days (two nights) anywhere in the United States doing absolutely nothing but exploring (with Stephanie and without your cameras), where would you choose?
San Francisco. That city has been on the agenda for awhile, as well as Boston and Seattle. We’ve talked about hopping on a plane and going, but we haven’t solidified plans for this year. We’ve had some fun poking around Toronto and New York in the past, as well as some great road trips, so I know we’d have fun. I’d like to explore more cities we haven’t seen (I’ve been to Washington D.C. a lot, and Chicago and New York several times, and we’ve both made the road trip to Arizona/New Mexico several times. I haven’t seen enough of New England or the west coast.)
San Francisco because it’s pretty and touristy and gay-friendly and warmer than Indianapolis. And I’d like to see more of California. We’ve driven through LA and spent a bit of time there, but not much. Boston is on my agenda at least because of the history. I’d like to visit a New England city with a lot of past lives. Seattle because I think of it as young and urban and hip. And all of these places would be fun to visit with Stephanie.
It would be quite a feat for me to explore without my camera though. I’d feel as though I’d left my right arm at home. I think I’d spend the entire time thinking “wow, that would make a great shot.” Plus I love taking photos of Stephanie, and it’s always fun to capture her while she’s exploring stuff, because she can be really expressive when she’s interested in stuff. So photos of Stephanie + photos of site-seeing = cool photos.
Yes, I’m hunting around for things to write about, and picking random questions from the internet. My friend Matt has been doing a 30 day blogging project, and I was sort of interested in doing something similar except not the same. Possibly something that makes no sense. And that doesn’t obligate me to write everyday for 30 days because as we all know, I have no discipline whatsoever. So this is totally that something.
I’m also just that bored and avoiding things I should be doing. Want to make the monkey dance? Ask me a question yourself. Or in the comments here. Be nice. Be rude. Be intrusive. Ask personal questions. I don’t really care. If you don’t ask, I’ll just answer more random questions from the internet, except that I’ll pretend you asked them.
Question: Have you bought any clothing in the last week?
A: Yes. (And oh boy, am I in the mood to overshare. I’d turn back now, if I were you.)
Actually, I tacked an item onto an Old Navy order that Stephanie placed. She bought a dress and a pretty pink shirt. I bought these underpants. Why? Because they reminded me of these underpants:
Which I hope did not actually sell because – underpants from a yard sale? Ew. Funny, but no.
I’ve been thinking about underpants lately because I came across this tumblr of girls wearing boy’s underwear, and was struck by the awesome therein. (this might have something to do with the fact that all these girls look great in boys underwear.) And some hours later, I was editing photos came across this image I took in the Apple Store last year:
Which I guess is not all that risque or anything, compared to a swimsuit, but was still rather surprising at the Fashion Mall.
All of which prompted me to buy some underwear. In order to write about it? I guess possibly. I don’t know.
Speaking of photo editing, which I just was a moment ago, right in the middle of the underwear conversation (did you notice that at all?) I’ve finally broken through the logjam of photo editing in which I’ve been stuck for months, and I finished editing all the photos I took in May last year when we went to England. And then I finished editing photos from June of 2010, and photos from July of 2010. I’m now in the midst of August of last year, which was a busy month, too. So I’m mentally 7 months behind the rest of the world, and not even into the winter yet, at least as far as photos are concerned, which is the only way I remember what the hell I was doing in the past anyways. (Was that a run-on sentence? Should I break it up? What the hell, I’ll leave it. Stephanie will tell me what to do with it later.)
The trouble with being perpetually 7 months out-of-phase with reality is that I’m not posting pics of cool photos as they happen… like say this funny thing we saw the same day as the Superman underpants at the Woodruff Place Flea Market
Not so much as it turns out.
Or this photo I took on the fourth of July:
Or even this accident we saw on I-65:
That was scary
I’m hoping to get my two universes synced by up by March, at which time I will be available for various social events. If the two universes don’t collapse into one another, that is. Please mark your calendars.