links for 2007-09-10
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Great discussion of Larry Craig’s hitting on a guy in a bathroom, versus women putting up with being hit on every single place they ever appear in public. And why these two things are not different.
Budgeting Time
One of the difficulties in our getting organized process is our time management. We both have a tendency to think “we’ll get to this” and we never do. We’re always purchasing space for the objects in our lives with time we don’t actually own. I find myself saying – “I’ll hold on to this because I’m going to do X, Y, or Z someday soon” and that justifies keeping it, because time is ethereal, and we can just lazily spend it because there are unlimited amounts.
And I have to confess, I thought I was way better at time management than Stephanie is, and she has more of a problem with purchasing with borrowed time than I do. That is, of course, not the case at all. Or at least, I may be slightly better about it, but not significantly enough to really make our lives function well. Here’s a graphic example of the problem:
I made this in Google docs this morning and shared it with Stephanie, and we were both freaked out by it when we saw it. Of course this is padded all over, but you get the general idea; there are a finite amount of spaces to be filled in with activities, and we have way more things to do than actually fit. So we do things like cut corners on sleep and skip meals and the gym and skating, or have to skip seeing friends. That’s not good at all. Plus I’m looking at this and realizing I spent last year watching something like 10 hours a week watching TV, that all came out of my sleep schedule. No wonder I feel like crap.
Clearly, organizing our things goes hand in hand with budgeting our time better so we spend much less time cleaning and more time eating and drinking wine with our friends and reading good books and making pretty internets.
Miles for Mom
My friend Cate is running a marathon tomorrow in honor of her mom, who died a few years ago of melanoma. Cate is raising funds for the Melanoma Research Foundation, and she’s really close to her goal. If you had a few dollars to add, I’m sure Cate would be really thrilled.
links for 2007-09-08
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This makes me much more optimistic about writing.
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An excellent article tearing apart the faulty, misguided 2000 media coverage about Al Gore. The timeline of the “internet” story invented by the media is very telling.
Apple Think Different Posters on eBay
I threw my Apple “Think Different” posters up on eBay – part of the decluttering efforts.
Thomas Edison, Ghandi, Pablo Picasso, dancer Martha Graham, Maria Callas, Joan Baez, Alfred Hitchcock, Ted Turner.
And I threw in a Macworld 2004 poster – it’s of the 1984 superbowl ad, with iPod added in…
links for 2007-09-07
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Noise is linked with heart attack and stroke because it creates chronic stress that keeps our bodies in a state of constant alert. Research published last year by Germany’s Federal Environmental Agency in Berlin shows that even when you are asleep, your
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A Critique of the “political compass” site and how their measuring is possibly skewed.
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A better 2 dimensional political survey than political compass.
Our Little Secret
Yeah, there’s a reason why so many of my photos seem to be only shot in one or two rooms, or only show small, focused parts of our house.
There’s a reason why we never have people over to visit; why I’ve stopped having parties and game nights and overnight guests.
There’s a reason why I’m awake at 1:00 a.m. writing this because I can’t sleep because I’m so stressed out.
We have a serious problem. It’s more than just a problem that’s driving me out of my head, although that’s bad enough.
It’s making me physically sick, too – enough that I’ve had to go to the hospital 5 times in the past three years because I’m so allergic to dust and the house is so full of it.
We have a problem, and it’s time that problem comes out of the closet.
We have too much stuff – way more stuff than we can manage, store or enjoy. Way more stuff than we need.
These photos are just the tip of the iceberg; the garage is equally packed, and the basement is the same way, too. I just haven’t taken pictures there yet because it’s the middle of the night.
I have always had a serious pack rat problem. I don’t want it to appear that I’m blaming anyone. I’m certainly not. And I know I’m not the only one trying to fix it; Stephanie is working hard at this, too. But I’m getting seriously overwhelmed lately; and I’m worried that we’re not making progress at all. We spend all our time organizing, never have any fun, and the clutter just gets worse, not better. And we fight over it, a lot – and that has to stop because I love Stephanie so much; I don’t want this problem to ruin our relationship.
It’s interfering with living our lives, doing our jobs, enjoying what we have and our families and friends, and enjoying the blessing that is our relationship as well.
We really need two things:
1) HELP. Help confronting the problem, help accepting that it’s a problem and help fixing it. To some extent, we need to hire someone to work with us on this. But we sure could use some support from our friends, both in the clean up process and the encouraging us not to bring new items into our house as well.
2) For people to back the hell off. Ease up on seizing control of our time. Let us get this figured out without constantly hijacking our schedules. Understand us when we say we can’t do stuff with you, and lay off the guilt trips. Stephanie and I both have a tendency to say yes to everyone and everything, and we need to knock that off, for our own sanity and well being. We don’t want to blow off our friends; we love you, and care about you. But we can’t always do everything you want us to, and lately I just can’t manage to do anything at all.
I took an entire cruise and spent the whole time stressed out because I wasn’t at home organizing and cleaning stuff. I’m up late tonight because we overloaded our weekend again with events and won’t have time to relax or get anything done. We need time to work on this – lots of it.
This run-away freight train needs to stop, and now.
links for 2007-09-06
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Article on one of Stephanie’s books: “These jobs are important to help make our world a better place, according to Laurence Shatkin, author of “150 Best Jobs for a Better World”.
among the things that pissed me off today
Somehow or other, in a recent email exchange on gayindy.org, I managed to miss this little paragraph in one of the emails regarding the city-county council elections until just a few minutes ago, and now I’m pretty blind with fury at it:
Now let’s go a bit further and talk about why the message in that email is very important. First, as a community, we need to be helping those who helped us. Most of us are not exactly stepping up and doing our part in this time of need. These people put their necks on the line for us and we made promises to them that we would be there for them. If you were in the council chamber the night of the HRO vote and you are NOT helping out in some way with a campaign this year, you should be ashamed. Period. And from the lack of support coming from our community so far, I’d say there are quite a few people out there I’m addressing with this critique.
Oh, where do I begin? Let’s start with:
1) tell me what the campaigns are, who’s in them, who the opposition is and why are the opposition bad?
Believe it or not, I know none of these things, because I have an actual real live life and I’m not wrapped up in the local political scene, because all the slime and trashing and hate going on online in local political circles is too much to stomach every day to get important information.
2) give me realistic ways to help out with a campaign.
I can build websites. I can write coherently on political subjects. I can design campaign materials. But I’ve yet to ever have a candidate ask for volunteers’ strengths. This is the appeal for help: “There are many ways you can help – door knocking, stuffing envelopes, fundraising, making calls, and much more.” Yes, I want to run right out and do the hardest, most ineffective, most time-wasting, most thankless jobs of political campaigning. Sign me right the fuck up for the shit jobs, because I have nothing better to do, and I have all the time in the world.
3) Lose the fucking guilt trip, and double quick.
I DO care about the HRO, believe it or not, and I do feel a sense of obligation to the candidates – however due to the utter failure of the candidates or their campaigns to do Numbers 1 and 2 above, I’m left with very little to go on. On top of that, I’m a 39-year-old adult who has a life and some serious responsibilities, and I do a really good job of working hard and prioritizing what’s important, thank you very much. You’re not my mom or the flying spaghetti monster, so your authoritarian tone is way out of line. I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I really resent being told that by anyone.
There, I feel much better. I’m closing the comments on this thread, because I really don’t want to fucking hear it.
I’m sure I’ll figure out some way to support the appropriate city-council members and their campaigns, but for the next couple days at least, I need to step away from this issue.
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