Message of Welcome to the UU Church

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As we welcome our new members and visitors, it is only fair to let them know what we Unitarian Universalists are like and what we expect.

  • We are friendly. If you are not friendly, out you go!
  • We are genuine people. Even our phonies are real phonies.
  • We are always sincere, even if we have to fake it.
  • We aren’t sure how ambivalent we should be.
  • We believe in tolerance and cannot stand intolerant people.
  • We are optimists. Anyone who doesn’t look on the bright side depresses us.
  • We are more non-competitive than other groups.
  • We believe in equality; everyone is as good as the next person and a whole lot better.
  • Every Unitarian is a feminist, so he has to watch his language.
  • The organization is run democratically because the president insists on it.
  • We have our critics, but they are paranoid.
  • We are prompt about being late to meetings.
  • Dogmatism is absolutely forbidden.
  • Freedom of belief is rigidly enforced.

And to this wonderful place we joyfully welcome you.

Continue ReadingMessage of Welcome to the UU Church

How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It Takes 300:

  • 12 to sit on the board which appoints the nominating and personnel committee.
  • 5 to sit on the the nominating and personnel committee which appoints the House committee.
  • 8 to sit on the house committee which appoints the light bulb changing committee.
  • 4 to sit on the light bulb-changing committee which chooses who will screw in the light bulb. 3 of those 4 then give their own opinion of “screwing in methods” while the one actually does the installation.
  • After completion it takes 100 individuals to complain about the method of installation, another 177 to debate the ecological impact of using the light bulb at all, and at least one to insist that back in her day the lit chalice was quite enough.

How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb. During next Sunday’s service, we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

NONE! We don’t screw in light bulbs. We screw in sleeping bags.

Continue ReadingHow many Unitarian Universalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

You may be a Unitarian Universalist if:

  1. You think socks are too formal for a Summer service.
  2. You know at least 5 ways to say “Happy holidays!”
  3. Your idea of a guy’s night out is going to a N.O.W. rally.
  4. Unleavened bread is part of your Easter Brunch.
  5. You refer to construction paper as “paper of color.”
  6. The name of your church is longer than your arm.
  7. You find yourself rewriting a church survey, rather than taking it.
  8. You call up your minister in the middle of the night, panicking because you are starting to believe in God.
  9. To explain your personal theology, you have to use interpretive dance.
  10. You take your day planner to church instead of the Bible.
Continue ReadingYou may be a Unitarian Universalist if:

links for 2008-12-02

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Blogiversary?

Way back in the dark ages when I started this site, I didn’t manage to keep track of the date. It was before blogger software, and before it was even affordable to own a domain name for a personal site (it cost in the $200 range to purchase one). I believe – but am not entirely sure – that I put my first pages up in November of 1994. My “site” was hosted at my local ISP. I had the pages of jokes up, and an article I’d written on the National Women’s Music Festival (Cringeworthy! Don’t read it!), and various news stories I’d cribbed from around the internet. And a bunch of “essays” on love and life, some of which aren’t up anymore because I’m embarrassed at how ridiculous they sounded upon reading them later. One of my first site iterations has a treasure map image map on the front page, and all the sections of content were items on the map. It was deeply cheesy and I’ll have to dig it out, because it was hilarious.

Time Flies The consequence of all of this is that I’ve never had a “blogiversary” date to celebrate like other sites. So I’m making one up now. November has just past; this site is at least 14 years old. Woo ha. Party hats for all.

I haven’t written much lately; summer is always hectic, and we’ve got lots of outstanding projects.

The rental house is again empty, and we have again have lots of repairs from tenant neglect and abuse of the property. We’re working on those and hope to have a property manager so we won’t have to deal with this sort of thing for months on end every freaking year. It amazes me how little people care for where they live if they don’t own it. It’s really sad, and frustrating for us, since we have to put time into it when there’s so much to do at our house, too.

We’re also working on lots of stuff around our house. We’ve made some progress here and there getting stuff in shape and clutter-busting. The guest room has been a particularly knotty problem for us. It turned into the catch-all room when we were moving in and didn’t know exactly what to do with stuff, and consequently, we have boxes and boxes that need to be sorted — all piled up in front of the Murphy bed cabinet. At one time or another, one of us would wander into the room and attempt to figure out how to put stuff away, get overwhelmed, and scurry out again.

So we hired an organization guru to help us. So far, she’s spent 2 hours with us in the room, working on sorting out boxes and choosing what stays, what gets trashed, and what goes to goodwill. Having someone other than yourself ask you questions about your stuff is REALLY helpful in focusing your thinking. She doesn’t have all the hang-ups and blinders, so she can ask what the item really means to you. And she can keep your attention on small chunks of the organizing so that you don’t get overwhelmed by the full volume of stuff. We got so much done in the first two hours that I was excited for days afterward. We can see large sections of the floor! The Murphy bed is within reach! We can have people stay over soon! Maybe! I’m not sure Stephanie was equally thrilled, which worries me.

Last night I went through and reorganized much of our Christmas decor in the basement. Inside, we’re only decorating modestly and putting up the small tree to keep things simple. We plan on decorating the porch with lights for the first time (we had an outlet installed this summer) so I have to work out a lighting scheme. Last night we also went through all the strands of lights we have available and tested and fixed many of them. I really enjoy that. I kinda wish we had an art project using lights.

I’m looking forward to Christmas, although it’s hectic at work and we’re already shaping up to have too many parties to attend. But it is at least some respite from the down-in-the-dumps feelings I get every year when there’s no sun and it’s too cold. I really would just like to curl up at home and stay there and never venture out into the weather. The news and worrying about the economy and financial considerations of loved ones also has given me the blues in a serious way; hence the lack of real writing here.

There’s so much that seems out of my control that I feel helpless a lot of the time, and angry, too.

Continue ReadingBlogiversary?